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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to report MIL.

56 replies

JunkCrumpet · 01/10/2020 11:21

We're NC with MIL because she's evil. She's also a "therapist" - she offers "healing" of various kinds. She has no actual qualifications in anything that's in any way recognised by anyone. I'm not talking about hypnotherapy or aromatherapy or something "alternative" but with some surrounding evidence - I mean "I can talk to ghosts and ask them to remove your cancer" bullshit.
Now, MIL has a website where she advertises. She claims to have all these qualifications but it's things like "experienced in X" or "qualified to perform Y". She has a "Diploma in Suchnsuch" that her friend printed out for her. I think what she's doing is dangerous. She abused her children to the point that they're NC with her, she's a compulsive liar and very manipulative. She's also very money grabbing and uses people for money - she's been known to steal large amounts (thousands) from family members. She isn't DBS checked or insured and her business isn't registered. I also know she's paid in cash and also claiming jobseekers despite having this income.
I'm very worried that she'll victimise vulnerable people. I wouldn't be surprised if she were trying to manipulate or coerce money out of wealthy vulnerable people (especially men). I would also suspect that, especially with Covid, many people are afraid of going to NHS in case they catch Covid and so are seeking alternative treatments. If they believe what she's saying they could easily die from curable illnesses because they don't seek the proper help. I don't want her to get into trouble and I certainly don't want to be back in contact with her or too involved but it's nagging at me.
AIBU to report her? And, if I should report her, who do I even report her to? I don't think it's a criminal offence until someone actually gets hurt, the benefits fraud isn't the thing I'm really worried about, you can only report someone practising without a DBS check to their employer so self-employed people are off the hook (unless they actually commit another crime). Should I just butt out? I feel obliged to do something before someone gets hurt.

OP posts:
fabulousathome · 01/10/2020 14:08

That's really terrible Chris. Can your professional body intervene somehow? Then it's not you.

JunkCrumpet · 01/10/2020 14:25

@ChrisPrattsFace

The worst part for me OP is that she tries to link her ‘profession’ and business to me - she’s incorrectly doing/providing this service she actually knows very little about and mentions me in it every time. You know, because I paid the money and got qualified and pay my professional fees.

I’m ignoring her the very very very VERY best I can (murder is illegal) so I hope you can too!

That's awful! I'm so sorry. You could probably ask her, in writing, to put a disclaimer that she's not affiliated with your business. Pretty sure there's some IP laws or something to protect you.
OP posts:
Vinosaurus · 01/10/2020 14:27

...she's definitely an over-dramatic, attention seeking hypochondriac. One reason her children are NC is because she spent their childhood telling them they had illnesses and allergies that they don't have. They had very low school attendance and were frequently being tested for things.

I'd add Munchausen's by Proxy to that list.

JunkCrumpet · 01/10/2020 15:03

@Vinosaurus

...she's definitely an over-dramatic, attention seeking hypochondriac. One reason her children are NC is because she spent their childhood telling them they had illnesses and allergies that they don't have. They had very low school attendance and were frequently being tested for things.

I'd add Munchausen's by Proxy to that list.

Oh definitely. I was a teacher and DH still is one. If a student's performance falls below 90% then it becomes a safeguarding issue. DH's attendance was around 75% (documented in his school reports). I think that because he was a straight A* student and very involved in the school (and because this was a white, upper middle class family), nothing was ever done. It's these kinds of behaviours that are why we've gone NC - not for ourselves but for DC. It doesn't take many comments for someone to plant an idea in a child's mind that they aren't well.
OP posts:
Porcupineinwaiting · 01/10/2020 15:16

No contact means precisely that. It doesnt include stalking on social media. Whatever she's doing, it's nothing to do with you.

whataboutbob · 01/10/2020 20:16

If she’s advertising that she can “ remove” cancer then it’s certainly not harmless. You could report her to Trading Standards ( via her local council) . Sadly there are charlatans out there who will prey on people’s fear of cancer and any other serious incurable disease. I used to work in HIV and before there were effective treatments the disease attracted quite a few exploitative quacks.

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