To put DD2 into nursery even though I am at home?

[Broodylou16]

DD2 is 13 months and I feel we are getting to that point where she would benefit from some external interaction and socialisation. I am a SAHM since I was made redundant at the end of my mat leave a couple of months ago. I've been home now for over 14 months and family live 45 minutes away, so no "local" help at all. If I sign her up to nursery for two mornings a week (9am-1pm), am I being horribly selfish? She would be attending the same place where my DD1 (age 3) is attending preschool. Although they would be in different rooms, DD2 would still have her if she got upset i suppose.

Is it unreasonable to put her into childcare even though I am at home??

No, sounds like a good idea to me if you feel you can afford it, and if she likes it. I wouldn't continue if she were upset, but probably she'll enjoy a small amount of time away and it'll be good for you.

YANBU. Most sahm I know put their child into nursery starting some time from 1 to 2 years old if they can afford it. Most do around 3 mornings a week.

Full time would be excessive but a few mornings in a lovely nursery is good for her.

YANBU. I'm a SAHM and DS started two mornings a week from 15 months, then went up to 3 at 2yrs old. Best thing I ever did. I found the first year very claustrophobic and it gave me a chance to miss him! He loves his time there and I now use my child free time to study. Win win.

I had mine in part time childcare whilst I was a SAHM. Pretty much every SAHM I know has done this.

The way I saw it was that I was a happier person and better mum with some time to myself. Even if I was just cleaning, or watching Netflix whilst ironing.

And they were happy playing and getting some interaction too. Always smiling faces at pick up.

Win win

YANBU definitely! DS is now 2 and goes 2 days a week since he was about 10 months, he loves it. Both DH and I work, but only 4 days a week each, however I work a lot of weekends so get days off back forthe days I've worked the following week. We could manage only sending him 1 day a week, filling in the other with annual leave and save some money.

BUT having a day off in the week by myself if Fantastic. I usually spend some of it doing family chores, but the other half is totally mine to do with as I like. Sometimes DH takes AL too and we go our outings just the 2 of us. Well, as much as one anyone can go for outings given the current covid situation! Its very good for our relationship.

Oh wow, I can't believe these responses I honestly thought I would be told I'm a terrible person!

Definitely find a nursery you love. My son has just started and they do all kinds of things I wouldn't do at home like sand play, bubbles, painting with feet. Also the social aspect of interacting with other children. Starting to learn to share. Learning to sit at a tiny table on a tiny chair for their lunch.
It's all good development and it gives you a little bit of time off

Oh gosh do it. Totally reasonable, plus its really hard to be a parent 24/7! I always have a lot more enthusiasm when I've had a break.
If you haven't been at home with a child all week long, no one can understand how difficult it can be - but you do most definitely deserve a break. There's this feeling in this country that mothers should have to be chained to their child unless their doing paid employment (and only then, not for too long!) - it's bollocks! If you can afford it, definitely go for it.

Plus, as others said, you can let nursery do all the messy play etc etc that you can't be arsed to do at home.

Under normal circumstance I would say that getting yourself some child free time each week is worth your mental health.

In a pandemic, I wouldn’t risk nursery or any kind of child care for anything that wasn’t absolutely essential.

Do it but be prepared for lots of days she can’t go in due to illness or because all of you have to isolate because you’re getting tested for CV. My baby was meant to be in 3.5 days this week (3 days of that I’m working), so far she hasn’t been able to go in for any of her days as we’re waiting on a CV test result.

You aren’t being unreasonable. My daughters little one is in nursery and they’ve both benefitted from it. Daughter gets to study and get some ‘me’ time and granddaughter loves going in. She loves it so much she doesn’t even wave bye

Of course you should do it !
Your little one will have such fun playing with the other children.
It’s a big fun play date for them ..
A break from being stuck with mum all the time 😉😂

Just do it
When my eldest was small it was called playgroup from 2 and no one batted a bloody eyelid!

Most sahm I know put their child into nursery starting some time from 1 to 2 years old if they can afford it. Most do around 3 mornings a week

What an interesting thread! When you read most thread about sahm, the majority goes on about how it is soooo much better for kids to be raised by their mum rather than a stranger at nursery. It then goes in about how being a sahm is the equivalent of a ft job and they tired of their husband treating them like they have it easy.

Yet according to posts here, most sahm have their kids at nursery at least two mornings a week, so they have a break. As the kids are well stimulated at nursery, they are then likely to have a good long nap in the afternoon.

Gosh, it is hard work being a sahm indeed!

Also if you do return to work they ll already be settled and you can just up the hours

It will be good for them and also give you a much-needed break.

@dontdisturbmenow do you think that when we're not with our children we're just lounging around or napping ourselves?! This is the opinion I was awaiting, the one that essentially says "what kind of a lazy bitch puts her child in nursery when she's not even working".

@Broodylou16, I personally don't care what parents do, if I could have stayed home AND afford nursery, I would have done it.

But I'm not one to preach how terrible it is 5o let other people bring up our kids, yhat being a sahm is a sacrifice for the benefit of the children, all that justification for one choice.
.
Do I think being a sahm who can afford for their toddlers to go to nursery 3 mornings a week have it easy? Of course, especially as if they can afford it, they are likely to be able to afford a cleaner and maybe gardener. But so what? There's no shame in having it good, no need to justify it by how hard it still is.

@dontdisturbmenow

You're quite right, when my children's nanny had her day off a week I put them into nursery. Have me more time to ogle the gardener and double check the house keeper wasn't stealing the silver. And of course I had bonbons to eat whilst reading Tatler, it's terribly hard being at home.

My son started at 3 and has been amazing for him he goes 3 mornings a week and is so happy there. Do it!!!! Xx

My DC does one (school-length) day a week at nursery and it's really come into its own now that Covid has stopped all the playgroups etc. If you find a nursery you like and your LO enjoys it, go for it!

I'm putting DD2 into nursery 2 mornings a week before DD3 is born, so I'll have 2 mornings to myself for a couple of months, which I plan to use for all my spring cleaning / nesting / last min organising before baby arrives. It will be good for her and good for me. Anyone who thinks it's lazy or selfish has never been a SAHM and probably doesn't know much about toddlers.

I was a sahm for 10 years and unfortunately couldn't afford this and family deceased so definitely no local help.

A few hours a couple of times a week in a nursery, would have been so wonderful, we did plenty of toddler groups etc for her socially it was me who needed a break . Go for it op!

Absolutely. I love my children much more now I get a regular break from them thanks to funded hours kicking in.

Doesn't matter how much you love being a mum everyone needs a break sometimes.

@ParisianLady, a proper Parisian lady then :)

Noone is going to be convinced that being child free for 3 mornings a week and getting a bit more time in the afternoon when they nap (if they do) is not a luxury. Even if the time is spent doing cleaning rather than being at the health club, it's time that working mums don't have during the day and have to fit in already busy evenings and weekends.

These mums should just enjoy the luxury with humbleness rather than try to convince themselves and others that they have it so hard, they do it out of necessity.