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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU

77 replies

Unreasonable2 · 30/09/2020 12:45

Hey everyone!

So just a quick thread to get some insight into whether I am being unreasonable and what you all would do in this situation..

So I have been in a relationship for 1 year 3 months.
He lives with his parents and i live with my daughter. Since lockdiwn began in February I havent been able to see him as his father has underlying health issues.
I have accepted that and although Boris' new rule allows 6 people to meet up, he still says he can't.
My AIBU moment is for his mums birthday last week they had his grandparents over, auntie and uncle and a few other family members.. i just want to see him but he has basically said he can't..
How am I any different to having a house full of relatives. Im working from home and take all necessary precautions and i just dont see how we are going to work if it is a case of "we can't see each other until it goes away" because how is that going to work?

OP posts:
combatbarbie · 30/09/2020 13:37

What a dick, honestly, just message him and end it. I, personally would make it known that not seeing you but going to a supermarket and having relatives round speaks volumes and you have taken the hint that he's not that into you, disappointed that you didn't have the balls to just say it rather than leading you down a garden path. Others will say no just delete and block but he will find a way to contact you so the reason needs to be there.... Then delete and block.

Why couldn't he have locked down with you? Are his parents dependant on him for caring?

Original poster
Unreasonable2 · 30/09/2020 13:38

I have ended it before, we then got back together.. but nothing has changed 🤷‍♀️

OP posts:
Original poster
Unreasonable2 · 30/09/2020 13:39

he couldn't lock down with me due to my daughter. I have a 6 year old

OP posts:
Fink · 30/09/2020 13:39

I also live with shielding parents. The only thing I would say in his possible defence is whether he thinks your lifestyle is more risky than that of his uncles and aunties. If they have also been careful and barely gone out, he may well consider them to be a different risk category than you if you're going out and about regularly. Not saying this is necessarily the case but I've certainly been more cagey about some social engagements than others because I know which people have been out mixing with others.

Original poster
Unreasonable2 · 30/09/2020 13:39

just heading to do the school pick up. I will reply once I return xx

OP posts:
Original poster
Unreasonable2 · 30/09/2020 13:40

my daughter goes to school. Other than that I work from home, go shopping maybe once a week and don't really leave the house other than that

OP posts:
AryaStarkWolf · 30/09/2020 13:41

Move on I think

StarCat2020 · 30/09/2020 13:45

Have you ever been to his house or met his parents?

Beautiful3 · 30/09/2020 13:49

That doesnt sound like he wants to pursue anything with you. Basically you're just someone to use (I.e text/call/face time) when he feels lonely). You deserve better than this op. End it now and ignore all messages from him. Find someone who treats you better.

1forAll74 · 30/09/2020 13:49

If you end this non relationship, and you get some kind of response from him afterwards, then you might get an insight into his true mindset.

ChaChaCha2012 · 30/09/2020 13:50

I don't understand how you got back together if you've not physically seen each other.

I'd block him. It's not like he's going to turn up and create a fuss it! And honestly, it's not really a relationship.

ScrapThatThen · 30/09/2020 13:51

Decide whether you want to set a gentle ultimatum or you just want to end it.

Florencex · 30/09/2020 13:52

I think you need to end it and then block, I think if you engage further you will allow yourself to be talked round again as you were when you ended it in June.

renallychallenged · 30/09/2020 13:54

He's leading you on. He likes having someone to text crap to at the end of a day. I doubt he gives you a moments thought between times.

This isn't a relationship. You're not happy with the way things are. That's enough to end it. Honestly, you don't have to give reasons or explanations or listen to his justifications. You can simply state that's it's not working for you anymore... and walk away. Delete & block.

Dark3M0rnings · 30/09/2020 14:07

He lives 10 minutes away

He can't be bothered to social distance meet up with you

He is definitely NOT worth the time & effort

End it today

Notimeforaname · 30/09/2020 14:13

We spoke the other night and he informed me that after this is over, for the foreseeable, we wont be able to spend any weekends together as he has to do some diy for his parents

I found this in your previous thread op and I think it says it all.

So mid lockdown he was telling you that after lockdown was lifted in the future...he STILL wouldn't be able to see you as he has to paint.

This is insane. Have some self respect op. Please

Notimeforaname · 30/09/2020 14:14

Sorry not paint, DIY.

But still.
Why can the DIY only be done after lockdown. Confused

Notimeforaname · 30/09/2020 14:31

Are you even sure he lives at home with his parents, if you've never met them.or spoken to them...

Notimeforaname · 30/09/2020 15:03

Just read the rest of you previous thread where you said you've been to the home and they definitely live there. Sorry.

UserABCDE12345 · 30/09/2020 17:25

Oh come on OP. You're acting pretty desperately for these crumbs of attention from this 'boyfriend'.

If he wanted you that much, he would have made some actual effort in the last 8 months!

Dark3M0rnings · 30/09/2020 19:46

If someone wishes to spend time with you, whether they live 5 mins, 500 or 5000 miles away. They will make the effort ! Secondly, he has had plenty of opportunities to meet up with whilst socially distanced

He has made zero effort

He is not that into you !

Cosygreythrow · 30/09/2020 19:52

My god I'm sorry op. Come on you deserve better.

Just end it. If you don't want to do that just block his number.

I'm sorry you're feeling lonely but this stupid man stringing you along isn't going to help, you need to get rid of him.

katy1213 · 30/09/2020 20:30

There's nothing to finish - you never see him. Leaving aside his lack of enthusiasm, he lives with his parents - who control his life - and he'd sooner see his aunties than his girlfriend - he's not much of a catch, is he? Plenty of fish in the sea that are better than this one.

katy1213 · 30/09/2020 20:32

And don't bother having any conversation - just block him.

Notimeforaname · 30/09/2020 20:41

Hopefully you've told him where to go op.

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