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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to demand this video of my kid is taken off Youtube?

54 replies

Stupidsocials · 28/09/2020 20:14

My year 6 son's mates seem to suddenly have been given smartphones which has led to a Year 6 Whatsapp grp for those who have phones where they take stupid photos & videos of themselves and each other and post them.
DS doesn't have a phone but has seen the grp. His friends have taken pics of him apparently and threatened put them up. He HATES this and has just told me - nothing inapproppiate, just without his permission. he thinks he deleted the photos but of course they think it's hilarious and he;s over-reacting.

He then told me that one of them took a video of him in the park - they threw something of his in a hedge and he climbed in to get it back - and it's been put on Youtube. Several of them, despite being 10, have Youtube channels.

How do I deal with this? He's 10 years old and does not want the video up and even if he did I don't want it there.

Do I complain to Youtube? The parents? ( who seem to think it's okay for them to have Iphones, WA and Tiktok etc.at 10/11) or to the school? Most of the photos are taken outside the school premises it seems but given the age for WA is 16 and this grp is obvs wide open to bullying or dodgy content I thought school might care?

Can't believe we're having to deal with this crap so early... all came out tonight cos DS was angry/upset at a friend but wouldn't say why then got teary and it all came out.

OP posts:
NYMM · 28/09/2020 20:18

I doubt Youtube would care, considering some of the videos on the platform.

How does your DS want you to deal with it?

user127819 · 28/09/2020 20:19

YANBU. Report the video using the category "Infringes my rights".

YoBeaches · 28/09/2020 20:21

@user127819

YANBU. Report the video using the category "Infringes my rights".
This, and inform the school.
ZoeTurtle · 28/09/2020 20:21

YouTube are pretty hot on this kind of thing at the moment. They had a lot of criticism around children in videos and now they will act if you report them.

Sorry you're having to deal with this.

Stupidsocials · 28/09/2020 20:25

'I doubt Youtube would care, considering some of the videos on the platform.
How does your DS want you to deal with it?'

There's no rules for YT around posting videos of minors without permission??

He wants the video deleted.

OP posts:
lanthanum · 28/09/2020 20:28

Talk to the school. A good school will send some strong advice home to year 6 parents and bring up the matter of online bullying in PSHE.

nitsandwormsdodger · 28/09/2020 20:34

Videoing bullying / unpleasant behaviour is not on
school and you tube need to be informed

Stupidsocials · 28/09/2020 20:36

He wants the video deleted but doesn't want to cause problems for he mates either. I feel for him. He just wants them not to be taking photos all the time posting them everywhere.

OP posts:
formerbabe · 28/09/2020 20:37

Definitely tell the school...it may prompt a talk on internet safety

NYMM · 28/09/2020 20:39

He wants the video deleted.

I appreciate that, but if it had been my son, he would have been mortified if we'd contacted the parents of the other children involved or by even bringing it to the attention of the school.

Certainly report to Youtube.

fwiw...I would have reported it to the School

GetRid · 28/09/2020 20:39

God, tell the school straight away. Are you in a parent's WhatsApp group? If so message that.

Not sure how you'd locate the video on YouTube unless you know the child's username?

Pertella · 28/09/2020 20:39

10 year old cant have their own channels, its against YouTube terms and conditions. If you report to YouTube you may want to mention this...

Catforaheadrest · 28/09/2020 20:40

It’s a tough one. Our 3 tween DCs do it to each other and we’ve been making them take it down each time another complains, and it’s on my radar to have a talk with them about consent the next time they do it. But, I don’t think many parents GAF. Or know their precious poppets are doing it. And they (the kids) really don’t think there’s anything wrong with it.

In YR6, maybe the school can still help.

Ours hit yr7 and went a bit feral ConfusedBlush

LynetteScavo · 28/09/2020 20:41

@lanthanum

Talk to the school. A good school will send some strong advice home to year 6 parents and bring up the matter of online bullying in PSHE.

This.
Absolutely talk to the school.

Emeraldshamrock · 28/09/2020 20:42

Speak with the parents of the friends. Do you know the parents? If the parents refuse contact YouTube.
I'd talk with the parents so it doesn't happen again they might keep doing it if YouTube takes it down
It is awful some are so consumed by social media they're lacking empathy if a friend falls the first thought is to record it before offering help unfortunately it is the mentality for many.

smalalalalalala · 28/09/2020 20:43

Youtube will delete the video, eventually.

Maybe the school could run an informative session about internet danger, right to personal life and how it's not okay to post photos/videos of others without consent amongst other things.

I think the whole group of kids need to receive information because this will happen again.

If you have a good relationship with the other parents, it would be good if all of you could agree on what is okay, what is not okay. I think they would want their child safe as well.

Stupidsocials · 28/09/2020 20:44

I think the 10’ueat olds can have the channel if the parents set it up? There’s loads of kids channel on YouTube.

OP posts:
Cadent · 28/09/2020 20:44

Has it had a lot of views? My nephew and his friends take videos (not of unwilling victims) and they seem to get 10 views.

Emeraldshamrock · 28/09/2020 20:45

Yes they can a few in DD's class have YouTube channels.

Stupidsocials · 28/09/2020 20:46

I do know the parents, pretty well actually, which I think is why DS doesn’t want me to get involved and get them in trouble. Tempted to go to the school without naming names - wonder if that would help.
DS is more bothered by the WA group as more of his peers in on there.

OP posts:
Stupidsocials · 28/09/2020 20:47

Why in Christ name do people think 10 year olds need smartphones.

OP posts:
mumwon · 28/09/2020 20:47

isn't there a rule about filming without permission in under 13's?
www.net-aware.org.uk/networks/youtube/

KillingEvenings · 28/09/2020 20:48

I would take screenshots of the youtube video (in case it gets taken down) and report to Youtube.

I would also report to the school. You're doing the kids a favour really because if they try that crap next year, or a video harrassing a girl, the consequences could be a lot worse and they need to learn their lesson now.

ScrapThatThen · 28/09/2020 20:49

You can inform the school but they will of course say that they are too young for the WhatsApp group, which they are of course. These groups are a nightmare, avoid.

Fannybawz · 28/09/2020 20:51

I don’t know OP and I had a very similar situation a few weeks ago. I basically armed my son with some witty comeback lines to show he didn’t give a shit and the whole thing was history after a couple of days. I feel for you, it’s v frustrating.

All I can say is that it’s been a valuable lesson for him in terms of his own privacy and also reinforces why no child of mine will have a phone until it’s absolutely necessary.

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