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AIBU?

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Original poster

Banaz Mahmod - 'Honour'

28 replies

Cassilis · 28/09/2020 19:29

Hi, I'll be watching this drama tonight but the sense I get from the ads is that they're portraying the police as really trying to help poor Banaz (RIP), but the news reports at the time told a different story.

I hope we won't get a re-visioning of what happened.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Banaz_Mahmod

"On New Year's Eve, the police were called to a café in Wimbledon where Banaz had arrived in a distressed state claiming that her father had tried to kill her. She was under the influence of alcohol - which her father had made her drink[2] - and had injuries to her hands, having smashed a window during her escape. Described as distraught and terrified by café and hospital staff, the policewoman who interviewed her did not believe her. She referred to her as "manipulative" and "melodramatic", and wanted to charge her with criminal damage for breaking the window.[13][4] Whilst in hospital Banaz gave an account of events to her boyfriend, which he recorded on his phone and later handed to the police.[13]"

AIBU or is there more to the story?

OP posts:
Sparklesocks · 28/09/2020 19:41

What are you suggesting?

HEYAhhhhhhhhh · 28/09/2020 19:45

what time is this on please?

crosstalk · 28/09/2020 19:56

It's a hugely painful story and includes that of her sister whose brother was persuaded to attempt to kill her. The police ignored that too.

The police clearly needed to know more about honour killings and respond to domestic abuse in any setting. But it was also a time when they were also ignoring the grooming and abuse of young girls throughout the country.

Original poster
Cassilis · 28/09/2020 19:58

@Sparklesocks

What are you suggesting?
Nothing yet, will try to watch with an open mind but I remember being angry for poor Banaz that she wasn’t believed.
OP posts:
Original poster
Cassilis · 28/09/2020 19:59

@HEYAhhhhhhhhh

what time is this on please?
9pm tonight on ITV1.
OP posts:
Original poster
Cassilis · 28/09/2020 20:01

@crosstalk

It's a hugely painful story and includes that of her sister whose brother was persuaded to attempt to kill her. The police ignored that too.

The police clearly needed to know more about honour killings and respond to domestic abuse in any setting. But it was also a time when they were also ignoring the grooming and abuse of young girls throughout the country.

Hopefully things have improved and there is much more help available to girls and they are believed.
OP posts:
Sparklesocks · 28/09/2020 20:10

It’s a heartbreaking story, that poor woman and what she went through. I know a lot of police forces now have understanding Honour killings built into their training but not sure how much experience they had at the time.

Totickleamockingbird · 28/09/2020 20:12

They did not want to disturb the community who were extremely uncooperative throughout the investigation and were protective of the killers. This factor must have gone against her since the day she filed her first complaint. I cried the first time I read about this case. The guy who she truly loved was the one whose insistence made the police sit up and take notice. He simply took his own life when he couldn’t face the loneliness and the trauma that he had been through. I find it hard to imagine that her fucked up family only did her funeral because of police’s presence and they left her grave unmarked initially. A grave stone was put on it the through efforts from the community and a charity. It’s a shameful, shameful case of negligence and how women’s voices are ignored systematically.

Original poster
Cassilis · 28/09/2020 20:17

@Sparklesocks

It’s a heartbreaking story, that poor woman and what she went through. I know a lot of police forces now have understanding Honour killings built into their training but not sure how much experience they had at the time.
Yes, I think there is more understanding now and initiatives like taking complaints seriously and urging girls/women to carry a spoon if being forced to fly to another country etc.

I just wonder what would have happened had the police who come to the cafe that night been more alert to Banaz.

OP posts:
Original poster
Cassilis · 28/09/2020 20:19

@Totickleamockingbird

It made me cry too tickle, the video footage of Banaz is very upsetting. I agree about women's voices not being heard often enough.

OP posts:
Dozer · 28/09/2020 20:21

Times report on this today outlined a LOT of policing failures.

Original poster
Cassilis · 28/09/2020 20:32

Would like to read that Dozer, though it’s behind paywall. I hope they tell the truth and it doesn’t become all about Keeley Hawes character.

OP posts:
Shepherdspyreads · 28/09/2020 21:30

Link to times report hopefully work if you don't subscribe. It's a depressing read!

www.thetimes.co.uk/article/i-still-live-in-fear-for-my-life-every-day-zmflbgfjm

deflationexasperation · 28/09/2020 21:36

Well, the detective has already said '' times she came to us and 5 times we failed her ''

So I don't think this will be a police white wash.
I already feel deeply upset and frustrated watching it. I'm remember a long time ago reading an article about women /girls trying to escape from the these abusive male dominated patriarchal communities... And the police would talk to the community leader and take the girls back.

Right back to where they were abused.

These are two tier societies under British law. A judge let a man off because that's what he knew.

We either have one law protecting all of us, including all women or we don't.

user19542358662566 · 28/09/2020 21:37

Hopefully things have improved and there is much more help available to girls and they are believed.

I think that's false hope. Much talk of learning lessons and training, little impact. Part of the problem is police culture. Training initiatives don't change that.

Blaming it on being a different time just perpetuates the problem.

deflationexasperation · 28/09/2020 21:39

Also I believe this was still when Blair was in charge? And cries of rascism were really common and feared, it's also the atmosphere that the Rotherham gangs flourished under.

PicsInRed · 28/09/2020 21:46

I remember poor Banaz. The police tried to claim they just didn't know about and understand honour crime.

I was living on the other side of the world and I'd heard of this as being a problem in the UK so the police must have been pulling a few legs to suggest they hadn't heard of it themselves

The whole thing was a disgrace.

Shedpaint · 28/09/2020 21:47

What’s carrying a spoon mean?

PicsInRed · 28/09/2020 21:54

@Shedpaint

What’s carrying a spoon mean?
Set off metal detector, get taken away for a search, disclose the forced marriage.

No doubt they're fly to it now though.

NicholasTopliss · 28/09/2020 22:16

Why on earth is this awful behaviour tolerated here?
This stuff is still going on. As is FGM, forced marriage, selective abortion, rape. SadSadBecause it is happening to women and girls. Because it is "cultural".
So upsetting, dreadful.

jakeyboy1 · 28/09/2020 22:35

It's an awful horrifying story. I don't think they are trying to whitewash it so far though as others have said the Hawe's character has pointed out several failings.
It's atrocious that it happened, as it is for every other woman who isn't believed. I know we all get very shocked by the "honour" killings and I think what is shocking is that they seem to be planned and involve whole families but all violence against women is unacceptable and the attitude held by those in power who think otherwise needs to change.

Original poster
Cassilis · 28/09/2020 22:46

@user19542358662566

Hopefully things have improved and there is much more help available to girls and they are believed.

I think that's false hope. Much talk of learning lessons and training, little impact. Part of the problem is police culture. Training initiatives don't change that.

Blaming it on being a different time just perpetuates the problem.

The drama has been emphasising the 5 times Banaz tried to get police help to no avail, which is good. The interview with the WPC who didn’t believe Banaz was upsetting. It went along the lines of:

DC Goode: Banaz reported attempted murder and you tried to nick her for criminal damage.

WPC: I’ve had no training in honour violence.

DC Goode: We’re all making it up as we go along but some of us keep our eyes open.

WPC: If I had to do it again, I wouldn’t do anything differently.

But it’s not just the police constable, teachers, social services, the local imam etc all failed Banaz.

OP posts:
AntiHop · 28/09/2020 23:13

What a horrifying story. My heart breaks for her and her partner, and I feel full of rage.

hashtagsquirrellegs · 30/09/2020 19:08

I'm trying to find episode 1 on the itv hub via sky with no luck. It's only showing episode 2. Any suggestions where I can find it?

Stay123 · 30/09/2020 19:26

The police are clearly shown to be rubbish in the beginning. Probably scared of being called racist. It is the men in her community who killed her that are to blame. And the women who know very well what goes on and still keep quiet. They nearly got away with because they know the police would be scared of being accused of racism.