AIBU husbands instagram

[Somewhereovertherainbow85]

My husband has instagram & I don’t, he left his laptop open the other night & I saw a half naked “model” on there, scrolled down & he follows lots of them. All having similar, shall we say attributes that I don’t have.

It’s really wound me up & knocked my confidence. AIBU?

On the one hand I think it's depressingly normal, but that doesn't make it OK. He was dishonest to you about how he uses Instagram (work only, etc) & that would raise a red flag for me.

Have you looked at his DMs? Has he been in touch with, or attempted to contact ant of these Women? Id take another look if I were you tbh...

These people are all over instagram. My fiance follows a fair few because they're nice to look at. All these posters saying check if hes messaging them!? Theyre instagram models! They arent going to be interested in Bill the electrician from Dorset! They're not posting to attract messages from men, they're posting to get followers and earn money.

If it bothers you then talk to him about it but I'm not following Chris Hemsworth because I'm interested in his moral values or whatever. But I'm certainly not messaging him either! (I wish!)

I find it all a bit sad, why do grown men still behave like horny 15 year old boys.

@PreggoFeminist86

On the one hand I think it's depressingly normal, but that doesn't make it OK. He was dishonest to you about how he uses Instagram (work only, etc) & that would raise a red flag for me.

Have you looked at his DMs? Has he been in touch with, or attempted to contact ant of these Women? Id take another look if I were you tbh...

I would be more bothered about why there was ever even a conversation about how or why he uses Instagram ! Sounds very controlling to me.

As his wife it’s absolutely none of your business what social media he uses or why.

Does he get a say on everything you watch on TV or read? Does he monitor your posts on here?

My Instagram is full of bikini clad influencers , lingerie influencers who I see wearing nice knickers and then I buy them 🤣 and all sorts .

It's hardly anything to have a huge issue with is it?

@ForeverRedSkinhead

I would judge the hell our of my husband if he did this. In my mind it's the kind of thing a teenager would do , for example my 17yo son follows these kind of accounts , he tries to deny it , but I know he does.

It's immature and distasteful if you're an adult in a relationship imho.

Well said

I'd judge any man who does this it's creepy. Pp's saying their partner / husband does it because they are nice to look at. I have no idea how women can be comfortable with their partners publicly ogling other women.

It's especially embarrassing because it's a buisness account. It would put me off a buisness completely if the account followed loads of insta 'models'

@anonacatchat

My Instagram is full of bikini clad influencers , lingerie influencers who I see wearing nice knickers and then I buy them 🤣 and all sorts .

It's hardly anything to have a huge issue with is it?

But are you getting sexual enjoyment from looking at them? If not its a different thing.

@mimblefish I thought I was the only one to have an appreciation for Rodger Allam!! Thank god I'm not alone! (It's the voice for me!)

[quote ShopTattsyrup]@mimblefish I thought I was the only one to have an appreciation for Rodger Allam!! Thank god I'm not alone! (It's the voice for me!) [/quote]
@ShopTattsyrup me, DH and my mum watching Endeavour together are all appreciating it in a different way to other people I think!

Not acceptable.

Big difference between having a cheeky look at the odd topless woman on Instagram, and purposefully following lots of similar accounts where the content is all sexual/topless etc.

Would find DH a little pathetic if he did this - it's quite "teenage"

Not to mention, if his profile is public, it also means anyone can see who he follows - I would find that quite embarrassing.

If it's his business page, I presume he only needs male customers as seeing that as a customer would put me right off using him.

@category12

If it's his business page, I presume he only needs male customers as seeing that as a customer would put me right off using him.

This. DH and I use FB and Instagram for work (I only use for work and don't have on my phone etc) and I would be horrified if he did this (or I did it) and our customers saw that!!!!

Also, I would be horrified if my DH did this, but again, I am not a "cool" wife, nor do I pretend to be.

Seedy and pathetic

Threeisnotacrowd There was never a conversation about why he has instagram.

He was interrupted by a call while on his laptop downstairs after I’d gone to bed. I went down & inadvertently saw it. No, I didn’t look at his DMs as I wasn’t snooping.

I know we all look at attractive people in the street or on tv etc but it just feels a bit pervy to me to be looking at these kind of images so freely.

I find it disrespectful because he knows what my feelings on this would be.

I hear you op.
It's a bit teenaged isn't it? Cringey.

I’m with you OP.

If my husband was looking at other woman we’d be over and he knows it, I’m not blind, we both know other people are attractive but I could not be with someone who actively “checks out” woman, it’s gross and really pervy.

I don’t go around looking at other men and I don’t do the silly giggles with friends over who they fancy, I’ve never been that way inclined and I find it gross, I guess it makes me a prude!

@Thepilotlightsgoneout

Wouldn’t bother me. It’s not abnormal for a man to like looking at a semi-clad woman. Said woman presumably comfortable with being looked at. They have no personal contact. Shrug.

Who says it's not abnormal? Oh yeah, men who do it.

I follow certain male (and female) models/celebs who post pretty risqué photos. And they look nothing like my partner.

It doesn’t make him seedy

It does seem very pervy, and its embarrassing. Surely he can have the decency to just look at naked ladies on the internet in private without following them all on Instagram.

Definitely not a good look for his business, and it’s just a bit icky... If he’s friends on Instagram with colleagues/friends/family.. they don’t want to see that he follows these accounts.

Have you mentioned it to him? Does he know that other people can see what accounts he follows?

I find it disrespectful because he knows what my feelings on this would be.

I repeat my questions - how is the rest of your relationship? How does he treat you? How's your self esteem?

If it's his business page, I presume he only needs male customers as seeing that as a customer would put me right off using him.

This. I own my own business. I sometimes look at who people I meet professionally follow on Instagram to get an idea of their connections / see mutual ones.

If I saw your husband's account and had a look at who he follows, I would think he was not only a sleaze but absolutely stupid for following those accounts on a business / professional account as it shows such poor judgement. So he'd lose my business twice over.

Plus it's just really cringe isn't it? Ugh.

@IndiaMay

These people are all over instagram. My fiance follows a fair few because they're nice to look at. All these posters saying check if hes messaging them!? Theyre instagram models! They arent going to be interested in Bill the electrician from Dorset! They're not posting to attract messages from men, they're posting to get followers and earn money.

If it bothers you then talk to him about it but I'm not following Chris Hemsworth because I'm interested in his moral values or whatever. But I'm certainly not messaging him either! (I wish!)

I’d cringe myself inside out if this was my partner.

I find the sentiments above strange. I’d like to think that the reason someone who is with me isn’t messaging hot randoms on social is because it’s creepy as fuck. Not because they wouldn’t stand a hope in hell.

@MrsKoala I agree I'd also cringe myself inside out! 😂

It's very nuts magazine. Def not being unreasonable op.

I think it’s weird behaviour, especially for a grown man.