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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Possibly just caught accidentally shoplifting

128 replies

EmbarrassedMum92 · 27/09/2020 14:48

Just went to return some bits to Primark that didn't fit and get DS some new vests. Went downstairs to go and pay and put the vests under my pram when I was in the lift as they kept falling off the top of my buggy. Returned the items and completely forgot to pay for the vests and walked out the shop with them not realising. I noticed a security guard was behind me when I was walking to the bus but I didn't think anything of it and he didn't say anything and must of lost me at some point. I only realised when I got home about the vests. :( I'm suffer badly from anxiety and I'm really worried that the store are going to contact the police or something. The vests only cost £6 and I'm happy to return them but also worried I may get in trouble if I do :(

OP posts:
LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood · 27/09/2020 17:41

Sorry to post again. But I’m concerned at the tone of (only some posts) that it doesn’t matter. It does matter. The point is that you can put it right. Take ownership of your life; phone up and pay. You will feel so much better for doing so.

Justaboy · 27/09/2020 17:51

Has anyone else intentionally shoplifted.

I did for one summer about ten years ago.

Umm .. Yes! well not shop lifting more shop moving!, we nicked from one shop and then took it to another and then back again the whole thing was a dare to see who could move the most and biggest items!!

Must have annoyed the shop staff no end!..

EggyPegg · 27/09/2020 17:56

@Laaalaaaa

If the security guard had clocked you, he would have stopped you the second you walked out of the store. From my memory of working in retail 20 years ago, you cannot be stopped and accused of shoplifting until you have left the premises - even if you blatantly stuff items into your bag. That was our policy at least.
I always wonder if they're keeping an eye on me. If I pop in for one or two bits, I don't pick up a basket. When I inevitably end up picking up mote items, I shove it all into my reusable shopper and then decant it when I get to the till. I must look pretty brazen.

OP, it's within your control to fix this. Either ring them, or just go back and pay. They won't have called the police.

AyDeeAitchDee · 27/09/2020 17:58

I was in Morrison's last week. Scanned a Halloween mask.

Till said "double weight bagged"

Staff member was stood there anyway. Saw the error. Overrode the message etc.

Got home.

It was two masks stacked together.

Now I feel a criminal as to me it was a result! No DC arguing over the masks next month. Wink

fatherfintanstack · 27/09/2020 18:06

Don't worry OP, half of Mumsnet is at it this week, accidentally shoplifting!

Seriously, don't let this exacerbate your anxiety. Just ring or email the shop tomorrow and ask the manager whether you can pay over the phone, or pop in if it's handy.

It was an honest mistake, if you try and put it right, you don't have to worry about it ever again Cake

Graphista · 27/09/2020 18:13

Don't worry I did something similar years ago and I called them in a right state and explained and was willing to pay for the item even though it wasn't something I wanted and they were lovely about it.

Told me to come in with the item, if it was still in saleable condition they'd just accept it back (it was)

Took it back the next day all good.

Call them and sort it out

A few hours? They probably won't even have noticed yet!

YouokHun · 27/09/2020 18:16

If you are making yourself very anxious about it then definite action is required so you take charge of your anxiety, so regardless of whether Primark will miss the items or not and regardless of other experiences of being pursued or not, write down what you’re going to do about it tomorrow morning, ie “at 0930 tomorrow I’m going to call them and explain my error. I am going to offer to return the items at midday. Tonight I’m going to do such and such (Watch TV, do the ironing whatever) because I can’t solve it tonight”. Pin the piece of paper up and then go and do something else. Otherwise you will just keep turning it over and catastrophizing.

Let me list my “shoplifting crimes“ for you @EmbarrassedMum92

Left Waitrose without paying at the self service check out, scanned it all, put it in my bags, put it in the trolly, left the shop, loaded up the car and put the key in the ignition, and I was in a rush so looked like I was making a get away. They were quite nice to me really and I sheepishly went back inside to pay.
Walked out of a local boutique clutching a necklace I’d picked up. Went back the next day and said sorry; the owner laughs about it now and always says “turn out your pockets” or some other droll comment.
BP garage, jumped in my car and got to the exit and realised. Don’t think they believed me and I think he was already on the phone to someone but nothing came of it.
DD then aged 5 filled a paper bag she found With an assortment of buttons and other haberdashery and triumphantly presented me with it later that day when we were home. Went back the next day and gave it back and my DD got shown how a shop works by the lovely (and forgiving) lady who ran it.

mathanxiety · 27/09/2020 18:30

They are not going to call the police over £6.
It will make you feel much better to call and pay over the phone. You can probably call out the barcode number or give the item description and they can look it up. Or go back with the packages and pay.

This happens a lot with buggies that have a tray underneath.

GellerYeller · 27/09/2020 18:35

Can you tweet them and mention which store? Say you're planning to come in another day to pay? Then you'll have written evidence that you contacted them as soon as you realised your mistake, which might make you feel better about going back in.

Strawberrypancakes · 27/09/2020 18:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

porcelinaofthevastoceanss · 27/09/2020 18:41

Don’t worry OP! The amount of times I have done this - I once actually walked out of primary with a bra in my hand whilst I was talking to my mum on the phone about said bra. I rushed back and explained what had happened to a security card and all was well. I’ve also done it with a pack of tights, and once I got on the bus with a mug in my hand after buying a totally different mug in TK Max. As you can probably tell, I am very absent minded. After DS was born I went to a garden centre cafe and on the way home suddenly realised I’d left without paying! I called the cafe as soon as I got home, apologised profusely and they saw the funny side of it. I popped in to pay the following day. No harm done.

lurch3r · 27/09/2020 18:48

I hope you have resolved this now by calling them and no longer have to have this on your mind. I struggle with anxiety when I have made a mistake and have found that 99% of people are very understanding of my need to make it right. They might think I'm a bit loopy but at least I am honest and people respect that. There is no need for you to dwell on this, you can sort it.

Giggorata · 27/09/2020 18:54

DS2 took a pumice stone when he was a toddler, from a counter in Woolworths. He couldn’t believe it when we went to give it back “But it's just a stone!”

MorganKitten · 27/09/2020 18:54

Near me the Primark security guard made female shoplifters give him sexual favours in the back room in exchange for not calling the police, normally the teen girls.... nasty.

GellerYeller · 27/09/2020 19:00

Seeing as we're listing, hope these make you feel better:
DD1 came out of a bookstore in her buggy clutching a book with missing pages.
DD2 distracted me at the self checkout and consequently we had a free half price steak from the yellow sticker section of Tesco.
We've had a rug and coffee table from Ikea which they didn't scan on the trolley, as it was piled so high years ago. Didn't have a clue till much later.
My mum reasons that it's so often you pick up a BOGOF or 3 for 2 that don't discount at the till and you don't spot it till you're home, these things cancel each other out in the long run. Odd logic 😂.
I was however once out with a friend who ordered herself snacks in a naice bar, then dramatically shouted 'scarper!!!!' at the exit as they were fetching the £3 (!) bill. I was left standing there apologising profusely and offering to pay after she sprinted down the high street. The bouncers found it hysterical. I did not.

WINDOLENE · 27/09/2020 19:01

Bananas, ham and beef paste, a jumper... Crisps and sweets when I was small

stayingaliveisawayoflife · 27/09/2020 19:04

We did the same with socks in c and a! They were in the folds at the top of the pram! I was a newly qualified teacher at the time and sure I was going to lose my job! My and my sister went back into the shop and hid behind some shelves and took the socks out and I went through the till and paid! I remember holding onto that receipt for ages just in case so I completely get how you are feeling.

notsodimwit · 27/09/2020 19:05

I remember taking my daughter in her pushchair into boots ....on taking her out of her buggy to put into car she had ' 1 nail brush, packet of nail files and hand cream 😕 we had a mad rush back to shop to return them to 😀

bouncydog · 27/09/2020 19:14

My friend who is the most honest and upstanding man alive, discovered that his daughter (6) had helped herself to something from the garden centre. Marched her back in to give it back and explained that taking something without paying was wrong. Next time they went he searched her before leaving, including looking in her mouth! One on the car she produced an unpaid for item ( think it was an eraser) that she had hidden.....in her flip flop😮😮

Warsawa31 · 27/09/2020 19:21

Theft - A person is guilty of theft if he dishonestly appropriates property belonging to another with the intention of permanently depriving the other of it

You didn't do it dishonestly and of you call/go back to the shop you are not intending to Permanently deprive them of it. It's ok OP it's just a mistake

Technonan · 27/09/2020 19:24

I did something similar - walked out of the supermarket without paying. Didn't realise until I got home. Went back the next day and explained what had happened, and paid. It was fine.

ifIwerenotanandroid · 27/09/2020 19:27

I was loading my big food shop into my car once, when I found a single lime loose in the trolley which obviously hadn't gone through the checkout. I took it back into the store & asked to pay for it at the service desk. They looked at me like I was mad to come back, but I couldn't have knowingly nicked it.

Getoutofbed25 · 27/09/2020 19:29

I did a Tesco shop once, had a baby with me who was fed up by the self scan check out, I was ‘entertaining’ them and paying, went to the car where I found the lost dummy and thought I’ll go back in and ask to return the new packet of dummies as I didn’t need them.....couldn’t find my receipt, turns out I hadn’t paid for any of the shopping, Id put my card in and taken it out without putting in a number Blush the shop were fine and laughed, it was a big shop too Blush

JenniferSantoro · 27/09/2020 19:32

@thesearethegoodolddays

Can you call the store to explain? And say you'll go back in tomorrow to pay for them?
This is all you need to do. And maybe pay a bit more attention ext time you’re shopping.
baubled · 27/09/2020 20:08

I walked out of the chippy without paying once 🤣 just got my chips and walked out the door! It wasn't until I got back in the car that I realised so I went back across to pay, they looked at me like I was a right idiot!