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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To murder my DH and feed him to the seagulls?

35 replies

FenellaMaxwell · 27/09/2020 11:12

DS is 3, and has SEN. I was off Friday and took DS out for the day. He didn’t have a good night Friday night and I was up with him frequently. DH was not. Yesterday, DH took DS out for the day whilst I cleaned our entire house. Last night, DS was struck down with a violent diarrhoea bug and I’ve been up literally all night cleaning up liquid shit and comforting a screaming child. I woke DH up at 7:30 so I could get 2 hours of sleep, and was back looking after DS by 9:30.

DH is now moaning at me that he’s tired and DS is hard work and he had him all day yesterday because I dared to ask if he’d play with DS whilst I took a shower.

I should kill him, shouldn’t I?

He’s normally really good about stuff like this and probably does more childcare and housework than me normally but I do think this is murder territory.

OP posts:
OwlBeThere · 27/09/2020 11:14

Seems entirely reasonable to me.
I hope DS is better soon! ❤️

Varjakpaw · 27/09/2020 11:15

The problem would be that you would need to clear up afterwards.

bettsbattenburg · 27/09/2020 11:19

You need to tell your dh he's looking after ds instead of telling him.

bettsbattenburg · 27/09/2020 11:20

Asking him Confused

Yaottie · 27/09/2020 11:22

Maybe hes thinking he should kill you for being a martyr

makingmammaries · 27/09/2020 11:24

YABU to feed him to the seagulls, he may be contagious.

giantangryrooster · 27/09/2020 11:30

Nah, make a nice day trip to the zoo (and flip him over the fence to the tigers, no clean up either Smile).

mumwon · 27/09/2020 11:41

see my other thread about my neighbour building a patio & who would you like to bury there Grin

tillytoodles1 · 27/09/2020 21:28

So your husband had your child most of yesterday and usually does more childcare and housework than you, but he dared to say no to you when you wanted him to mind child so you could have a shower and now you want to kill him. Not remotely funny!!

VeniceQueen2004 · 27/09/2020 21:31

Christ there's some pearl clutching handmaids up this evening. OP was having what we in the 21st century like to call "a laugh", ladies

PicsInRed · 27/09/2020 21:33

😂 He'll probably give the seagulls a stomach ache, but a problem shared...

tillytoodles1 · 27/09/2020 21:37

If a man was pissed off with his wife over something stupid and said he was going to murder her and feed her to the seagulls, how many of you would be laughing and agreeing with him? Im not pearl clutching, I'm just annoyed at the double standards on here a lot of the time

eatsleepread · 27/09/2020 21:40

I'm so glad my kids are all older. I wouldn't go back to toddlers, and all the 'tit for tat' relationship shit that comes with them, if you paid me.

Sorry for the rant there OP, but I feel your pain GrinThanks

spiderbride · 27/09/2020 21:43

@tillytoodles1

If a man was pissed off with his wife over something stupid and said he was going to murder her and feed her to the seagulls, how many of you would be laughing and agreeing with him? Im not pearl clutching, I'm just annoyed at the double standards on here a lot of the time
Probably because men murder women a lot more than women murder men?

Anyway I thought it was funny.

PicsInRed · 27/09/2020 21:44

@tillytoodles1

If a man was pissed off with his wife over something stupid and said he was going to murder her and feed her to the seagulls, how many of you would be laughing and agreeing with him? Im not pearl clutching, I'm just annoyed at the double standards on here a lot of the time
Well, it's just that so many men actually do slaughter their wives and so few women do the same to their husbands ... that this way around is still big chuckles.

If men are committed to this joke being funny for them, they'll first need to collectively commit to "zero-wife-murder". I'm rather more annoyed at that "double standard" than this one. 🤷‍♀️

...

Seagulls 😂

slipperywhensparticus · 27/09/2020 21:45

Yabu feed him to the PIGS

spiderbride · 27/09/2020 21:54

@slipperywhensparticus

Yabu feed him to the PIGS
Yeah, good point. Seagulls would take too long to strip the corpse and you'd still have a lot of bones, even if you cut it up super small - and bear in mind cutting up a body is hard work - whereas Peppa and her friends would scarf up Mr FenellaMaxwell whole and then ask for dessert. Your best bet is either to get a few friends round to help or look into pig farming Wink

(I listen to a lot of true crime podcasts, please don't call the police Grin)

slipperywhensparticus · 27/09/2020 21:56

🤣🤣🤣 I just thought hanibal lecter

Couchbettato · 27/09/2020 22:07

Nah, make a nice day trip to the zoo (and flip him over the fence to the tigers, no clean up either smile).

Carole, is that you?

Sparklfairy · 27/09/2020 22:12

@slipperywhensparticus

🤣🤣🤣 I just thought hanibal lecter
Oh, I was thinking of Snatch!
mineofuselessinformation · 27/09/2020 22:13

AIBU to hope he gets a severe dose of the shits himself, just so you can ignore him and leave him to it? Grin

spiderbride · 27/09/2020 22:16

@Couchbettato

Nah, make a nice day trip to the zoo (and flip him over the fence to the tigers, no clean up either smile).

Carole, is that you?

Made me spit my drink Grin
Daftasabroom · 27/09/2020 22:17

Murder is illegal. I'm not sure feeding seagulls is actually a criminal offence. Could you not skip the first and go straight to second base?

Lillyhatesjaz · 27/09/2020 23:34

Please don't feed him to the seagulls as they are enough of a problem already without them developing a taste for human flesh.

steff13 · 27/09/2020 23:36

Do you know anyone with pigs? Pigs would make him disappear completely, really fast.