To murder my DH and feed him to the seagulls?

[FenellaMaxwell]

DS is 3, and has SEN. I was off Friday and took DS out for the day. He didn’t have a good night Friday night and I was up with him frequently. DH was not. Yesterday, DH took DS out for the day whilst I cleaned our entire house. Last night, DS was struck down with a violent diarrhoea bug and I’ve been up literally all night cleaning up liquid shit and comforting a screaming child. I woke DH up at 7:30 so I could get 2 hours of sleep, and was back looking after DS by 9:30.

DH is now moaning at me that he’s tired and DS is hard work and he had him all day yesterday because I dared to ask if he’d play with DS whilst I took a shower.

I should kill him, shouldn’t I?

He’s normally really good about stuff like this and probably does more childcare and housework than me normally but I do think this is murder territory.

First mistake was cleaning the house - I would have gone to bed. Second mistake not stabbing dh when he woke you after 2 hours at 9.30

Hopefully your H has caught the shits for himself

I now have visions of you being the Carole Baskin of seabirds.

Not sure you'll make Netflix though..

@tillytoodles1 oh, pull the stick out of your arse. Yes, he does most of the housework and childcare, because he works part time from home and I work for the NHS in an acute hospital.

And yes I wanted a shower, because I had literally been elbow deep in liquid shit for the entire night while he’d been snoring away peacefully.

@Varjakpaw This is where the seagulls come in - those fuckers will eat anything.....

@Lillyhatesjaz I’ve seen the ones round here eat a love pigeon - I think that ship has sailed.....

@steff13 I have a season ticket to the play farm for DS, and a really big handbag?

@DizzyPigeon imagine the outfit I’d need for that..,,,

@tillytoodles1 god it’s you moaning AGAIN. The reason it’s a joke, which you seem to have missed - it’s a JOKE, my DH is alive and well and watching CBeebies right now - is that it’s subversion. Men kill their wives all the time. That’s the double standard to get your knickers in a twist over. As a woman, making a joke to the reverse is acceptable because we are the minority party in a common injustice. If you want men to have the right to make jokes about killing their wives, they should maybe stop actually killing them?

You could always feed him the liquid shit. It would be easier to frame this as an “accident”.