Women will always have more housework

[Almondmilk]

No matter what. I live in one of the most equalitarian country and I still drop and pick my kid from school, always get up first for breakfast and morning routine, cook, clean, tidy, do laundries. Sometimes he does help, sometimes.

@Slightlybrwnbanana the idea is to set the bar before you have children. Or don’t have them at all. It’s much harder to enforce things when there are children involved.

My bar was fine though before children. We split everything, and neither of us did that much - too busy having fun! You become more concerned about not being in a total pigsty when there are babies crawling on the floor. But the bug game-changer, as I've said before, was maternity leave - how can you not end up picking up more stuff when you are at home and he's in work? And it becomes very hard to put that back down.

Not on my watch.

I think it will become more equal when women are working as much as men. Though this may also never happen due to children.

Dh does more housework than I do. Currently he is wfh, so has an extra 2 hours each day than I do due to lack of a commute. He uses that commuting time to do some housework and has some extra leisure time as well.

During school holidays I do more of the housework though, as I'm a teacher so at home then. Over the whole year it pretty much evens out, but the only time I ever did more than he did was when I was bf a baby, and even then it was childcare rather than housework and I did it because the baby wouldn't take a bottle so he physically couldn't do it.

I certainly will because my do would live in a shithole. He just doesn't care.

I think it will become more equal when women are working as much as men. Though this may also never happen due to children

Like I said above somewhere, women could change the tide very quickly if we stopped having babies all together. We’d very quickly gain control of whatever we wanted.

Some replies here suggest it's the woman's fault for putting up with it.

Try working fulltime yet you're responsible for school drop off/pick ups, all housework and admin because the man still thinks it's your job. You can't just leave the kids at school.

i have to do EVERYTHING in my house... i work full time and still have to do all the shopping, cooking, cleaning, washing, mowing the lawn, feeding the dog..... EVERYTHING...

its a real fooker but a small price to pay for not having to put up with a husband.

@BewilderedDoughnut

I think it will become more equal when women are working as much as men. Though this may also never happen due to children

Like I said above somewhere, women could change the tide very quickly if we stopped having babies all together. We’d very quickly gain control of whatever we wanted.

But this wont happen ever. More common to have too many kids.

@luckystarmaking Some replies here suggest it's the woman's fault for putting up with it. Try working fulltime yet you're responsible for school drop off/pick ups, all housework and admin because the man still thinks it's your job. You can't just leave the kids at school

The don’t have kids. Problem solved. I don’t know why any woman would accept this as their life!

I think these problems maybe why traditional the man works and woman not, because too hard to do everything. I think a lot of women still prefer the old way but don’t like to say.

@luckystarmaking - it's hard but what you can do is just do stuff that relates to the children and stop anything else - DH/P does their own washing, he deals with communication/presents etc with his family, basically minimise anything to do with him so he has to do his own stuff himself. I think many women would say this is mean however if you turn it around men don't think like this, it is normal to them. My DH always used to ask (expect) me to speak to his sister on the phone, whilst she is lovely I really didn't want that polite conversation - I would never have expected him to speak to my brother for example. I nipped it in the bud, all family interaction is his responsibility.

Pretty much 50/50 here but we play to our strengths. For example I hate ironing like I could not think of a worse chore, dh doesn’t mind it.
I quite enjoy tasks like defrosting the freezer and cleaning the oven and dh hates it so I do that.
Whoever cooks the other cleans up.
One of us baths the kids the other cleans the bathroom and downstairs.
Childcare is 50/50 we both work 4 days a week compressed hours so we each have a day with the youngest. The other 3 days we do a mixture of 7-3 shift or 9.30-5.30 so someone is always available for pick up and drop off.

Yanbu. I'd also say that there is an expectation still that women do most of it. In terms of adverts etc. My dh does majority of housework in our house but we seem to be the exception amongst my friends and acquaintances.

All household chores are pretty much 50/50 here, although we both play to our strengths

Same. DH does all of the cooking, meal planning and food shopping and about 50% of the kitchen clean up. I do all the laundry and most of the other cleaning. Adminwise he does insurance stuff. I do most of the contacting tradesmen side.

He does nearly all the nursery drop offs/pick up with DD and I do nearly all with DS because of location of school/nursery to our places of work.

Presents are done by each of us for own sides of the family. My lot don't really do presents though so that's a much bigger task DH has than me!

Part of the problem is that women want a man with good job and earn lots of money. But then he is the one who keeps working when baby comes along because he earns more.

I am another one who does way less than my husband. Its shameful really because it absolutely should be equal. But I am a lazy fucker and he is organized and tidy so there you go...

We have a cleaner and I don’t even work. 😂

@WorraLiberty

I think as long as you keep believing "Women will always have more housework", it'll stop you having to examine exactly why you put up with your personal situation.

All household chores are pretty much 50/50 here, although we both play to our strengths.

This. I do hardly any. Possessing a vagina doesn’t predispose me to taking a disproportionate share of housework or childcare.

@CyberNan 😆

Brilliant.

My first laugh out loud moment for some time.

My husband definitely does half sometimes more than me. Keep going and expect more

The only thing you have to give up, to not do more than half, is being in charge and having things done to your own standards.

It is still true than women are judged for those standards in a way that men are not.

Not giving any fooks, maybe because you have none left to give, means that you can stop yourself taking on the full responsibility. Each have areas of responsibility, the way things work at work.

Stay strong, sisters

My hubby does more housework and so do most of his friends. I think it will only be that way if you let it.

I also think though e have to look at the bigger picture. Does your hubby do a lot of the garden maintenance and DIY? If so why? If it isn't something you can/want to do then only fair you do more housework.

If you're both fixing up broken doors etc then yes, this is unfair.

Just my thoughts

@luckystarmaking

Some replies here suggest it's the woman's fault for putting up with it.

Try working fulltime yet you're responsible for school drop off/pick ups, all housework and admin because the man still thinks it's your job. You can't just leave the kids at school.

Yes but you are choosing to be responsible for all this. Why would you have children with a man who takes no responsibility for anything?