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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

When did you tell your children Santa doesn’t exist?

103 replies

Honeybeexo · 25/09/2020 17:42

I’m not a parent (25 no kids), but I’m thinking back to when my mum told me and my sister (we were 9 and 11, just as I started high school) that Santa didn’t exist. She said she told us because she didn’t want me teased in secondary school for believing in him. Me and my sister were a little suspicious but still totally shocked when she told us, it was horrible, haha!

Just wondering how others have told their kids, and whether it made them unhappy or they weren’t bothered?

OP posts:

sweetkitty · 25/09/2020 19:09

I’ve just told DD3 who is 12 and she had sort of guessed but was still a bit shocked. I said it’s still magical and doesn’t matter who brings the presents really. She was more shocked that the NORAD tracker wasn’t real.

Ginqueen456 · 25/09/2020 19:10

My eldest we told her the summer before she started secondary school but I'm fairly sure she knew any way. My 2nd is in year 6 now and I think he's beginning to question it now but just playing along with the whole santa thing

Worstyear2020 · 25/09/2020 19:12

Never, they found out from kids at school.

MadameMeursault · 25/09/2020 19:14

DS worked it out for himself when he was about 9, DD sussed it when she was 6. I was relieved, it always seemed like such a ludicrous story. DD always throws it back at me when I tell her off for lying “well you lied to us about Santa!”

However, my friend aged 40 still does Santa with her DM, DF and DBS!

Gibble1 · 25/09/2020 19:14

I haven’t told mine either. They freely talk about him not being real and the elf who brings their jammies on Christmas Eve isn’t real either- except they can’t figure out how the jammies get there on their beds when they haven’t left the room!
They will be 19 and 17 this Christmas.

MadameMeursault · 25/09/2020 19:15

DD then got told off for telling her friend who grassed her up to the teacher, and the teacher lied to her about it and made her lie to her friend. Could have been handled better I feel.

SpeedofaSloth · 25/09/2020 19:17

DS told me he knew Father Christmas wasn't real around age 9 (his Sikh friend told him). I told him that now he knew, he could be Father Christmas for other people too. He hasn't told his younger sister yet.

DD still believes, age 7.

tywysoges · 25/09/2020 19:24

I never told DD he existed, the whole Christmassy environment led her to believe and I never confirmed nor denied his existence. One Christmas when she was 7 I think she said she didn’t believe, I acted horrified and we’ve been pretending ever since

bluezzzzz · 25/09/2020 19:25

I don't think ds wants me to tell him. Even though he knows santa is not real he still likes the idea of him. I don't think I will ever tell him. Ds is high school age

BikeRunSki · 25/09/2020 19:28

DS told me when he was about 9.
Not entirely sure that DD (nearly 9) has ever actually believed.

Angel2702 · 25/09/2020 19:33

We were never told. And we plan to do the same. Kids don’t talk about Santa in high school anyway and they work it out for themselves.

Arthersleep · 25/09/2020 19:37

My son is almost ten. I can't figure out whether he believes or not, or whether he is just politely going along with it for the sake of me and his younger sister. I remember questioning it when I was 7, so I'm a bit surprised that he has not questioned it yet. That PNP Santa is pretty realistic though!

BilboBercow · 25/09/2020 19:37

I'm 40. I buy, build and wrap all the presents in my household and you'll never conversation me Santa doesn't exist.

rslsys · 25/09/2020 21:40

What do you mean 'Santa doesn't exist'?
65 year old lip trembling here . . .

Love51 · 25/09/2020 21:45

Why would you tell such a heinous lie?

MereDintofPandiculation · 25/09/2020 21:48

Never told them. I think I may have answered a question at one point by saying "He comes to those who believe. Parents do stockings for those who don't".

DS1 claims he realised at about 6 when he spotted Santa and I use the same wrapping paper.

MandyGalbandi · 25/09/2020 21:50

I never have and I never will. They are 16 and 14 now. They humour me

VerbenaGirl · 25/09/2020 21:51

Just waited until mine worked it out. I wasn’t going to be the one to tell them!

Fucket · 25/09/2020 21:53

Wow are there really kids who haven’t worked it out by secondary school and they have to be told?

I was about 5, my daughter was about 5 too. She presented me with a list of reasons why FC couldn’t be real. I congratulated her for her logical thinking, explained the story about the original Saint Nicholas, and how we are all now FC for those little children who still believe. My son was 6, and he too worked out that No one not even FC can beat the laws of space and time.

I’m not a fan of those parents who like to string their kids on for as many years as possible. I think It’s making your kids a bit gullible and open to teasing/bullying. It’s also a great opportunity to have a conversation with children about not always believing everything a grown up tells you and Hopefully help them spot people trying to gaslight them for their own reasons. Kids absolutely need to learn to use their common sense and not grow up thinking magical men leave presents for them At Xmas. What’s cute at 4 is a bit of a concern at 11! When we may be expecting them (I hope) to start walking to school on their own.

lanthanum · 25/09/2020 22:13

DH was furious when he discovered that his parents had been lying to him, so DD has never believed in FC. She was always very good about "going along with the story" at nursery and school - she only once let slip at about 9 to a friend whose mum is fairly sure he'd worked it out anyway. DD has never been bothered about not having FC. When she started losing teeth we said that we were quite happy to give her 50p like the tooth fairy, and suggested that we set up our own tradition, but she wasn't really interested.

SpeedofaSloth · 25/09/2020 22:19

Wow are there really kids who haven’t worked it out by secondary school and they have to be told?

I know someone who told her DD just before she started Y7, so her DD wouldn't be embarrassed in front her her new mates if they told her. I was torn between thinking that was sensible and thinking that maybe it was mean. Suspect it's one of those times when you no good deed goes unpunished.

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 25/09/2020 22:19

Ds 1 was about 9 or 10 when it clocked for him. I never actually told him, he just worked it out. Obviously they will talk about jt at school aswell.
Ds2 will be 7 this Christmas. I think this will be the last year he believes, but I thought that last year and he still hasn't twigged.

Malachite234 · 25/09/2020 22:20

My parents kept the Christmas presents in a suitcase under the bed. My older brother told me Santa was real and said “I’ll prove it” and showed me the presents I think I was around 9 😂

Porcupineinwaiting · 25/09/2020 22:21

When they asked me to tell them the truth. They were 6 and 8 (six year old was the instigator).

Dartsplayer · 25/09/2020 22:21

Never

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