AIBU to have wedding disappointment?

[Thestruggleisreal8]

AIBU to be disappointed?

My fiancé and I were supposed to get married a week before the lockdown happened and so all our plans had to be put on the back burner (we had paid in full so either have to lose that money or have some sort of celebration when it’s safe to do so). In the meantime, I’ve fallen pregnant so we were reluctant to postpone all wedding plans until 2021 (or later) as we’d like to be officially married before the baby arrives in December. So, we are getting married at our local Town Hall tomorrow and no celebration at all afterwards due to local lockdown restrictions. We’re only able to have both of our parents there too which we’re sad about as we’re both really close to our siblings and grandparents etc but it was the price we were willing to pay to be able to go through with it all.

Anyway, I was looking through all the guidance again on Tuesday and I now just can’t shake the disappointment I’m feeling about it - we’re not allowed to exchange rings, our marriage certificate will be ‘issued after the ceremony and posted out’, we can’t take any photos in the building (which is huge!) we are limited to only the statutory declarations (not allowed to choose from the usual options) and no readings or music.

I completely understand why all guests have to wear masks and we all have to socially distance, but am I being unreasonable to be disappointed with the other rules? Part of me completely gets that we’re in the middle of a pandemic (and it just is what it is so have to get on with it if we want to be married) however our local authority are the only LA in the whole region that have changed up the ceremony so significantly ‘because of covid’ all the others are still allowing things to happen as normal just with reduced numbers and social distancing.

If you don’t want to postpone just have another “proper” wedding when things are more normal

OP you might find the registrars are a bit more relaxed when you get there. That has been my experience with the (very few) weddings I have been involved with (wedding florist) this year since lockdown. They understand how important the day is to you. It does of course depend of their personality.
I honestly have found the weddings have felt quite special, you are down to the absolute most important people and you are doing the most important part of the whole 'normal' wedding day - marrying the person you love. You could add a celebrant ceremony to your party when you have it, they are always very personal and beautiful.
Have a lovely day try to focus on the sentiment of getting married rather than the disappointment of what should have been x

They didn't have music but not sure they wanted to anyway.

The guests wore masks but not the couple, not the man conducting the wedding. The photographer and legal registrar did too.

The seats were all SDed so guests from the same household couldn't sit next to one another. I assume that's do they don't have to keep rearranging them between weddings though..

They had photographers both in the venue and outside. Two of them.

The staff and photographers didn't have to be included in their numbers.

For the photographs inside they only did the couple and then the couple and witnesses. None wore masks - Infact the town hall officials told them they should remove them for photographs.

Outside we had many more photographs without SDjng and without masks, though we only stood in position for a brief time. The photographers were pretty swift with their cameras.

I know it's disappointing to not have the ceremony you planned but I do hope you enjoy your day, and that it's the start of a new adventure together and with your new baby.

Congratulations 🎉

we were reluctant to postpone all wedding plans until 2021 (or later) as we’d like to be officially married before the baby arrives in December.

If this is really your no.1 priority then you'll need to accept that it comes at a high price. Personally I'd just wait until you can have the wedding you want. I'm amazed that anyone cares about babies born out of wedlock in 2020!

You're entitled to feel disappointed. I really feel sorry for couples who have had their weddings impacted.

I think you are right to go ahead and get married now before baby arrives, even if it is just basically just doing the formal legal bit without the celebrations.

Perhaps next year you'll be able to have the wedding reception you originally wanted plus a Christening celebration too.

Congratulations on your pregnancy and I hope you still manage to enjoy your wedding day tomorrow.

It’s lovely to hear that you’re getting married soon and I hope it goes well. If marriage is your choice then I think you’ll be on a high from doing it and will have the prospect of some form of celebration (of your choice) to look forward to in the future! I’m sorry the timing has been a bit rubbish but I hope you enjoy what’s to come!