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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Colleagues social media - WWYD

149 replies

Colleaguedilemma99 · 24/09/2020 07:26

Name changed

I saw on Facebook a colleague was suggested as a friend I may know. Not really friends but had a nose on profile. To my disgust, there are retweets of anti BLM posts and also a post saying he had beat up a man that said something to his kid.

This colleague is a senior manager in a public company. I’m not jealous, we are not competitors so that is. It my angle but wibu to report this?

Would he lose his job or get a telling off. I have seen him be unpleasant before and I feel like he should be pulled to task but equally it’s a tough economic time if he were to lose his job. I don’t think that would happen. I could imagine they publically re-educate him, so they save face and he “learns”. The posts are disgusting so that would be false.

Voting yes - ignore, Ainu

       No - reports, this is wrong
OP posts:
NameChange84 · 24/09/2020 10:46

I’d report it. I’d be worried his racist views had an impact on his ability to carry out his job when he has to work with people of colour. I mean, if he’s on an interview panel...surely he’d be less likely to hire a black person? If he has management responsibilities for anyone who isn’t white...won’t there be a bias there?

I can’t stand racists or their defenders/excusers so I’d feel the same as you OP.

The violence is even more worrying. Did the person he assaulted press charges?

iloveruby · 24/09/2020 10:48

@Colleaguedilemma99

Sorry, didn’t mean to drop and run.

For further context message was “black people, if your lives matter why do you kill each other”

Possibly debatable if racist but for me is a disgusting comment. “If your lives matter”

Yeah, that is a pretty awful and ignorant thing to say but ask yourself where you draw the line at policing other peoples political views - and most importantly, who is deciding on what is and isn't acceptable.

I'm surprised that you can't see what a worrying precedence the idea of reporting someone who you disagree with sets.

Shetoshe · 24/09/2020 10:50

Christ. No I wouldn't report. Plenty of people have views I don't agree with but I just avoid interaction with these people as much as possible.

It's reminiscent of playground politics - "I'm telling teacher on youuuuu" or reminds me of my two preschoolers whinging at me about their siblings transgressions. Grow up OP.

Ginorwine30 · 24/09/2020 10:51

What’s it got to do with you though? Hmm
I think I would just ignore it if I was you, you aren’t friends etc so it’s not really any of your business. This whole cancel culture thing is ridiculous, I’m not saying I would agree with his posts or wish to see them but it’s his Facebook page. People are so self righteous and desperate to tear down others. I’m actually scared at the way people are even prevented from having a debate. Obviously we should be mindful what we share online but it seems wrong to make someone lose their job for posts that weren’t even directed at you.

CloudyVanilla · 24/09/2020 10:51

I don't really know how anti-BLM and not racist can be used in the same sentence in good faith.

HeckyPeck · 24/09/2020 10:52

I would 100% report.

If he doesn’t want his job at risk then he shouldn’t post about beating people up!

ProfessorSlocombe · 24/09/2020 10:52

I don't think it's lack of intelligence, in my experience about 50% of people are of above average intelligence.

That's a tad like saying "In my experience things fall down".

Unless you are doing very odd things with numbers involving a rubber hose, electrodes and a tame ferret, then by definition half the population is below average intelligence. With very little difference between 10 above or 10 below ....

HeckyPeck · 24/09/2020 10:54

It's reminiscent of playground politics - "I'm telling teacher on youuuuu" or reminds me of my two preschoolers whinging at me about their siblings transgressions. Grow up OP.

I would want kids to report another kid beating someone up!

Surely it’s not immature to report someone for bragging about beating someone up?

SleepingStandingUp · 24/09/2020 11:00

It's reminiscent of playground politics - "I'm telling teacher on youuuuu" or reminds me of my two preschoolers whinging at me about their siblings transgressions. Grow up OP. So if your child saw another child beat up a kid in their class and making racist comments, you'd want your kids to look the other way cos no one likes a tattle tail??

FOJN · 24/09/2020 11:01

OP I'm enthusiastic supporter of anti racism but I do not support the organisation BLM, it's impossible to know if this man is a racist or informed enough about the aims of BLM to know he doesn't agree with them.

His violent behaviour would suggest he's not always pleasant but like others I find it chilling that people are in such a hurry to report everyone.

Bear in mind that your views may align the the prevailing zeitgeist but that may not always be the case and you could find also yourself being reported for wrong think.

DeliasDinner · 24/09/2020 11:01

I would absolutely not report him to his employer. It's redolent of the TRAs modus operandi.

People are allowed to disagree with the BLM movement if they wish and I find the thought of trying to get him in trouble at work quite chilling. Should our employers be allowed to police what we think and say away from the workplace?

As for the beating up, you have no idea of the background. It's an awful thing to do, but justice is a matter for the legal system in the first instance. Presumsbly the person he beat up (if he actually did) could have reported it to the police, or may have already done so. None of us know the facts.

Oh and just to be clear, I am not defending racism, I believe that education and acting by example is a better way to change behaviour rather than trying to lose someone their livelihood.

ChronicallyCurious · 24/09/2020 11:01

[quote cyclingmad]@chronicallycurious

So if you dont have your job listed on Facebook and you post something could you then be fired because someone csn then look you up on LinkedIn and connect you to your company?[/quote]
I think if you post something you could be fired for online and they find you in other ways then you deserve it. Posting things that are questionable to your job in this day and age is stupid. It’s especially rife on Twitter where you see someone post a hate comment and someone responds “I found your work place, reported.” In OPs case he has detailed how he has beat someone up, if someone finds him on LinkedIn and reports him then good on them. However, putting your workplace on your social media account if you are vocal about sensitive matters is incredibly stupid.

I worked at a restaurant throughout university and we were required to put “opinions are my own and not my employers” in our Twitter bios and anything classed as hatred was investigated. I can imagine a public sector employer would take this more seriously and rightly so.

Anordinarymum · 24/09/2020 11:03

Mind your own business

PixelatedLunchbox · 24/09/2020 11:04

Block his profile so you aren't tempted to look at it again, and mind your own business.

IceCreamSummer20 · 24/09/2020 11:05

It’s beating someone up that is very disturbing and I would not want to work with someone who was so actively violent.

I don’t like the anti BLM posts but if it falls in the line of ‘opinon’ rather than explicit racism - wow that is a hard line - but there has to be some room for debate as long as it is respectful. Is it?

JenniferSantoro · 24/09/2020 11:13

@Colleaguedilemma99

Does it make a difference of the level of unpleasantness though? Actively supporting anti BLM?
In what way is it anti blm. It is because the cause seems to have been hyjacked by the anti Police/defund the Police squad. Or is it because he really does believe that black lives don’t matter. If it’s the latter then that is appalling. Any kind of racist behaviour, agenda or support should be stopped.

But if he’s saying that black lives do matter but he doesn’t like the way the cause has been jumped on with other political agenda, then that seems like a reasonable view.

FrizzyHairMalarkey · 24/09/2020 11:18

@Colleaguedilemma99

Sorry, didn’t mean to drop and run.

For further context message was “black people, if your lives matter why do you kill each other”

Possibly debatable if racist but for me is a disgusting comment. “If your lives matter”

Ignorant thing to say, perhaps, but racist? In what way? Debatable as you say yourself. I don't think it's a sackable offence to be ignorant or to wish people wouldn't kill each other even if it's badly worded..

And as for the assault, unless you know exactly what the circumstances were, how can you judge? Maybe it was just a bit of a shoving match that he has exaggerated about or maybe it was and out-of-order attack, and he has been convicted and therefore dealt with. I wouldn't boast about it on Facebook, but if I were to find out a bloke had hurt my little daughter, I can't promise I wouldn't take the matter into my own hands, especially if it happened in front of me. I would like to think I would allow the law to deal with it, but I couldn't promise I wouldn't beat the crap out of them first... Does that make me a bad mother who deserves social services involvement because violence is NEVER the answer or does it make me protective hero who gave some nasty git his just desserts? 50/50 in my view.

HeckyPeck · 24/09/2020 11:34

Mind your own business

It’s not like she snuck into his house and read his diary!

He boasted about beating someone up publicly - he can face the consequences of that.

DeliasDinner · 24/09/2020 11:39

Maybe he did, maybe he didn't. But the outcome of those actions if they happened, lies with our justice system, not find sneakily to someone's employer without any legal investigation taking place. That's actually very scary. Innocent until proven guilty and ask that....

DeliasDinner · 24/09/2020 11:40

Going not find.

IrmaFayLear · 24/09/2020 11:55

Ah, the written word...

Can you imagine if MN were hacked and all our real names/workplaces published? How many of us have said, “I’d have killed him given half a chance^ or words to that effect. Taken out of context it could be seen as evidence of intended murder rather than exasperation at a dh hogging the remote control...

ProfessorSlocombe · 24/09/2020 12:06

He boasted about beating someone up publicly - he can face the consequences of that.

Doesn't mean he actually did it though, does it ? He might be "lying". Apparently it's a thing some people do sometimes.

IntermittentParps · 24/09/2020 12:15

I'm no big fan of BLM. But “black people, if your lives matter why do you kill each other” is obviously at least a seriously ill-informed comment, and quite possibly a racist one.
And bragging about beating someone up Hmm

BUT if you hadn't been pointed towards his FB profile you'd likely never have known about him and his views.

Personally I'd NOT become his FB friend (not that I think you were planning to). But I wouldn't report. As someone has said, reporting someone who doesn't agree with you sets a troubling precedent.

His views might come to light through someone or something else anyway.

IntermittentParps · 24/09/2020 12:16

racist? In what way?

Well, what if he said 'white people, if your lives matter why do you kill each other'?

Pollypocket89 · 24/09/2020 12:20

...then it's still not racist