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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU not to buy my employee a leaving card /present?

137 replies

EloiseTheFirst · 23/09/2020 16:09

Small business. Me and 4 part time employees.

I hired this person to start beginning of August.

She resigned beginning of Sept. apparently going elsewhere as she needs more hours.

This is a part time role which was explained in the job ad, before interview, during interview and at job offer.

Employee says she was "job hunted" but I saw this job advertised mid Aug so I don't believe her.

I had to pay another member of staff to work extra hours to train her during a time I can barely afford to be paying double wages. Now I have to start all over again with someone else.

I am convinced she took this job as a stop gap to tide her over until she got something with more hours.

Consequently I'm not planning on giving her a leaving card / present.

Am I being bitter? Or is it fair enough?

OP posts:
valtandsinegar · 23/09/2020 16:11

No, I definitely would not be getting her anything if she was only there a month.

RedRawShoulder · 23/09/2020 16:12

You don't have to buy them anything, but please do say goodbye and good luck.. Even if you don't feel it. It will give you both proper closure, as it should be.

MaybeMaybeNotJ · 23/09/2020 16:13

Card not gift 👍🏻

Caselgarcia · 23/09/2020 16:14

If you're not sorry she's leaving, no, don't get her a card, she's hardly been a loyal, long serving member of staff!

WaterOffADucksCrack · 23/09/2020 16:14

I don't buy any employees a card or present when they leave! I couldn't afford it even if I wanted to. I think leaving cards and presents are a strange concept in general though.

KylieKoKo · 23/09/2020 16:15

I think you are taking this a bit too personally. Employees are free to leave if a better thing comes along. The way to stop this is to create a good working environment and pay well

workhomesleeprepeat · 23/09/2020 16:16

Just get her a card - no need for present. Whatever you think of her it’s the courteous thing to do as her boss. You never know if you’ll come across her again in a professional capacity, and I’m always one to kill with kindness in situations like this - you never know when it will pay off

Astraj · 23/09/2020 16:17

You dont owe her anything, she hasn't worked for you long enough and has obviously used you as a stop gap, hope you find a replacement that doesnt waste your time a resources soon x

workhomesleeprepeat · 23/09/2020 16:17

@KylieKoKo

I think you are taking this a bit too personally. Employees are free to leave if a better thing comes along. The way to stop this is to create a good working environment and pay well
Agree with this
VeraPink · 23/09/2020 16:17

I wouldn’t bother with a gift after only a month. I might give a card just to be polite.

MereDintofPandiculation · 23/09/2020 16:19

I am convinced she took this job as a stop gap to tide her over until she got something with more hours. As is her prerogative. The other side of "flexible workforce", no protection from unreasonable dismissal until you've worked for an employer for 2 years, is that the employee need show no more loyalty than the employer has to show to them.

Changethetoner · 23/09/2020 16:23

No gift, no card, don't even think about it. Wish her well, as she walks out the door, but you definitely don't need to do any more.

Dyrne · 23/09/2020 16:23

I get that you’re miffed but you don’t appear to understand that this isn’t a personal slight against you.

She needed work, grabbed something to tide her over, then left when she found something more suitable. Don’t pretend that if you needed to make redundancies you’d have afforded her any favours - it’s just business.

Rather than get pissed off, be polite and give a card wishing her well; then examine your own interview process to see if there’s any way you could have picked up on her intentions sooner.

Original poster
EloiseTheFirst · 23/09/2020 16:26

@KylieKoKo

I think you are taking this a bit too personally. Employees are free to leave if a better thing comes along. The way to stop this is to create a good working environment and pay well
I think that's a bit unfair. She took a job that was 15 hours a week and is going to a new job 40 hours a week.

I do pay well and have a great working environment (other employees have worked for me for 15 years, 8 years and 2 years. This role was to replace someone whose circumstances changed and moved areas and she'd worked for me for 3 years).

But money for 15 hours is obviously a lot less than for full time!

OP posts:
Kanaloa · 23/09/2020 16:27

I wouldn’t get a gift but would say good luck and I wouldn’t be resentful. It’s annoying but, as pps have said, it isn’t personal.

CitizenFame · 23/09/2020 16:30

I think that's a bit unfair. She took a job that was 15 hours a week and is going to a new job 40 hours a week.

So?

I do pay well and have a great working environment (other employees have worked for me for 15 years, 8 years and 2 years. This role was to replace someone whose circumstances changed and moved areas and she'd worked for me for 3 years).

And?

I don’t think you should get a card or a present for someone that’s been there for a month but you seem to think she owes you some kind of loyalty or should have stuck it out a bit longer. Why should she? If she’s taken a job thats 40 hours she obviously needs or wants the hours and the wage. Unless you’re providing the hours and the wage then why should she stay there when something more suitable for her has come along?

HeckyPeck · 23/09/2020 16:30

I wouldn’t expect a card or gift if I worked somewhere for a month.

I’d probably think it was a bit weird to get either to be honest!

kittykat35 · 23/09/2020 16:31

Yabu towards here...you don't own her and she doesn't owe you diddly squat. And yanbu to not buy her something as the same goes for you...you don't owe her. Well wishes in her new position is enough.

notanothertakeaway · 23/09/2020 16:33

@WaterOffADucksCrack

I don't buy any employees a card or present when they leave! I couldn't afford it even if I wanted to. I think leaving cards and presents are a strange concept in general though.
@WaterOffADucksCrack

Your business can't afford to pay £1 to buy a leaving card?

notanothertakeaway · 23/09/2020 16:36

YABU. It's frustrating for you, but that's life. If you hired her, but then realised you couldn't afford her salary, you'd have let her go after a month

Give her a card and wish her well. Apart from anything else, you could come across her again in business

TheDuchessofMalfy · 23/09/2020 16:36

I don’t think she’s done anything wrong. I’d just get her a card on the basis she’s been there such a short time, so no call for a gift, but not due to there being anything wrong with taking a job as a stop gap.

RoseTintedAtuin · 23/09/2020 16:38

YANBU to not get card or leaving present after a month regardless of backstory

ithinkiveseenthisfilmbefore · 23/09/2020 16:38

I understand you're frustrated she only stayed a month, but she's an employee, not an indentured servant.

Be glad she found a role which will enable her to support herself and her family more successfully.

Brighterthansunflowers · 23/09/2020 16:40

YANBU to not get a gift for someone who only worked there for a few months

She is NBU to use a part time job ( or any job) as a stop gap til something better came along. People need to pay the bills. It’s crappy for a business when you’ve spent time and money training someone especially a small business, but it’s part of being an employer.

KatherineJaneway · 23/09/2020 16:41

I wouldn't get her anything. It is an incredibly short period of time to have been with you, a 'Sorry you're leaving' card does not seem appropriate.

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