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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU not to buy my employee a leaving card /present?

137 replies

EloiseTheFirst · 23/09/2020 16:09

Small business. Me and 4 part time employees.

I hired this person to start beginning of August.

She resigned beginning of Sept. apparently going elsewhere as she needs more hours.

This is a part time role which was explained in the job ad, before interview, during interview and at job offer.

Employee says she was "job hunted" but I saw this job advertised mid Aug so I don't believe her.

I had to pay another member of staff to work extra hours to train her during a time I can barely afford to be paying double wages. Now I have to start all over again with someone else.

I am convinced she took this job as a stop gap to tide her over until she got something with more hours.

Consequently I'm not planning on giving her a leaving card / present.

Am I being bitter? Or is it fair enough?

OP posts:
SantaClaritaDiet · 23/09/2020 19:19

But surely as a business owner you’re able to make this sort of top-level decision yourself

Do you think business owners are from a different planet or something? Business owners are just people. There's no "them" vs "us".

Devlesko · 23/09/2020 19:21

29p Card factory, Good luck.

HaggieMaggie · 23/09/2020 19:22

I wouldn’t get her anything, why would you?

Original poster
EloiseTheFirst · 23/09/2020 19:25

@Anordinarymum

Why are you even thinking about this. Let her go. She is not loyal to your business or to you. Reward the employees who are dedicated to their job. Buy cakes on a Friday for them ...NICE cakes :)
Only because today my employees were asking me whether we were getting anything. It hadnt crossed my mind to get her anything until one employee said she thought we should get her something (because we're nice people). But the other two employees who had to work extra hours to train her (and will have to do it again to train the next person) said absolutely no way.

So it was on my mind. Hence why I posted.

OP posts:
Nsky · 23/09/2020 19:27

Folk use employers you know that, what you would do if you needed to

RedRawShoulder · 23/09/2020 19:29

Having been through it recently (in a less than favourable way) I will tell you that regardless of how you feel about her, how you treat her as she is leaving will tell her as much about you as how you treat her while she is still your employee. It really does matter, and can make a lasting difference to someone. Swallow your pride and anger and be decent. You will both feel better for it.

Original poster
EloiseTheFirst · 23/09/2020 19:32

You might want to pause and think about your recruitment techniques. You could have found out if really she was after a full time job in the interview by asking after the circumstances of her job search.

She told me she wanted to cut her hours down that she didn't want to work full time any more. She's an older lady with no kids so I had no reason not to believe her.

OP posts:
Cadent · 23/09/2020 19:39

Of course fine to give her a cursory reference (confirm dates etc) but I wouldn't give a written reference.

Weebitawks · 23/09/2020 19:40

If I didn't have a job and was offered something that wasn't completely suitable, I'd absolutely take it until something better came along, because of needing to pay my mortgage and eat food and all that.

Original poster
EloiseTheFirst · 23/09/2020 19:43

Can I just clarify something.

I have been totally professional to her and said I accepted she needed more hours and have been friendly to her.

I also told the others to be nice to her (they were much more annoyed than I was).

She hasn't asked me for a reference but if she did, I would give her one because I have no issues with her work. (Just her morals! Ha ha)

My question was do I get her a card / present? Not do I treat her like a decent human being? Which goes without saying!

OP posts:
DollyDoneMore · 23/09/2020 19:45

I wouldn’t expect a card or a present after two months working somewhere!

Just wish her well. You can’t blame someone to want to better themselves or earn more money.

tillyandmilly · 23/09/2020 19:46

I did not get anything from my firm! I had been made redundant after 20 years!

feeling somewhat deflated!

Cadent · 23/09/2020 19:47

Yep, not sure why people are assuming you haven't been professional with her, OP.

I would make clear to your employees that you don't think a present is justified, in case they buy something and expect you to contribute.

AntiHop · 23/09/2020 19:49

I wouldn't bother in those circumstances.

Cosmos45 · 23/09/2020 19:52

Jesus, I worked somewhere for 13 years and got made redundant very quickly when a new business took us over with about 10% of the staff, the rest of the business got made redundant a year later. Because of the dramatic turn of events I got nothing much more than a bye your leave.. Why on earth are your rewarding loyalty after one month of work?

LunchBoxPolice · 23/09/2020 19:55

I wouldn’t get a card or anything under the circumstances. Just politely wish her all the best etc and part on good terms, she’s done nothing wrong.

sleepylittlebunnies · 23/09/2020 20:01

I was upset to not receive even a card after 16 years working in the same job. It might sound grabby but after contributing to a multitude of leaving presents for others over those years I was expecting at least a token gift. It made me realise though that I had made the right decision to leave and I also decided that I won’t ever return as I had planned on doing some bank work there. Generally; staff that stayed less than a year tended to get a card and flowers or box of chocolates but nothing elaborate. I think just a month or 2 then good luck wishes, even if not sincerely felt is enough.

BigBadVoodooHat · 23/09/2020 20:12

Do you think business owners are from a different planet or something? Business owners are just people. There's no "them" vs "us".

No. I do not think business owners are from a different planet. I run a business. Not for one second would I be conflicted about whether or not to buy a gift/card for someone who had been employed for a matter of weeks because, in the grand scheme of decisions that have to be made daily when running a business, this is so minor and non-consequential that I cannot fathom giving it more than one second of thought.

If you are capable of running a business that employs several people, you really shouldn't need advice on buying a greeting card. You are presumably making a myriad more important and consequential decisions on an hourly basis.

skodadoda · 23/09/2020 21:06

@MereDintofPandiculation

I am convinced she took this job as a stop gap to tide her over until she got something with more hours. As is her prerogative. The other side of "flexible workforce", no protection from unreasonable dismissal until you've worked for an employer for 2 years, is that the employee need show no more loyalty than the employer has to show to them.
Absolutely
Cadent · 23/09/2020 21:19

@sleepylittlebunnies

I was upset to not receive even a card after 16 years working in the same job. It might sound grabby but after contributing to a multitude of leaving presents for others over those years I was expecting at least a token gift. It made me realise though that I had made the right decision to leave and I also decided that I won’t ever return as I had planned on doing some bank work there. Generally; staff that stayed less than a year tended to get a card and flowers or box of chocolates but nothing elaborate. I think just a month or 2 then good luck wishes, even if not sincerely felt is enough.
You weren’t being grabby at all. I’m so sorry they did that to you. Any idea why?

I work with but not in a big team and they always expected me to contribute to birthday/ baby/marriage/leaving presents / cards but never did anything for me. I cottoned on after first year and stopped contributing but still signed the cards. Now only I contribute if I want to and it’s much better, as I have no expectation of getting anything back and have saved hundreds.

user1536853684 · 23/09/2020 22:29

So, posters think it's immoral to take work in order to avoid homelessness and starvation? Hopefully these are not the same posters who think it's immoral to claim "benefits".

What a joyous society we have created.

TJ17 · 23/09/2020 22:38

@user1536853684

So, posters think it's immoral to take work in order to avoid homelessness and starvation? Hopefully these are not the same posters who think it's immoral to claim "benefits".

What a joyous society we have created.

I thought exactly this!
NoPrivateSpy · 23/09/2020 22:59

No! Absolutely not. Don't feel bad. Buy some cakes I reckon. She should be very grateful for cake.

Any person who takes a job under false pretenses like she has does not deserve this much thought. She's a twunt.

But cake means you're rising above it and therefore winning Grin

Rocinante39 · 24/09/2020 07:32

She lied to you in interview and wasted your and your colleagues' time.

Shake her hand (if social distancing permits) and wish her well.

skodadoda · 24/09/2020 07:53

She hasn't asked me for a reference but if she did, I would give her one because I have no issues with her work. (Just her morals! Ha ha)

Why are you questioning, (even jokingly), her morals? She’s adapting to changing circumstances, and avoiding unemployment. Were your business circumstances to change would it be immoral of you to ‘let people go’.

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