To think I can wear what the fuck I like at 47

[Midlifelights]

My (judgmental) mother thinks I ‘shouldn’t’ be wearing dungarees at my hideously old age of 47 🙄 I should also not ever wear a bikini again and should now have transitioned into tankini’s or a one piece. Animal print also apparently not appropriate.

Aibu to think WTF? I feel like I look ok for my age (not that it fucking matters anyway) and that i can wear whatever I want to wear.

I like nice clothes and shock horror I like wearing bikinis too and genuinely give zero fucks what anyone else thinks.

Is it a generational thing? You must transition to m & s stretchy wear by 45?

I agree that your ma should keep her nose out, and you should wear whatever you want.

I keep being told my hair is too long for my age (53) but I just ignore them - my hair, my business.

I admit there are clothes now that I wouldn't feel comfortable wearing, because I do think that I'd look ridiculous in them - but that's down to ME, not anyone else telling me. I also wouldn't be comfortable in a bikini now (too fat) but nothing, nothing would get me into a tankini - I'd be back in a one-piece (that is my only swimwear).

Well I wear whatever the fuck I want, including dungarees & anything I like really - I’m nearly 50. Your mother is being ridiculous OP. Send her the link above, that’s brilliant & I wholeheartedly agree with it!

admire your confidence. I think a lot of women want a bit of validation (approval?) for what they're wearing. You only have to look on here to see women asking "Do you like this dress? Does this suit me? Which shoes? Should I get this haircut?"

I thank you for your optimism about my confidence but alas no, I dress how I do, colour my hair purple cos I feel it detracts from things people can be horrible about, like my teeth. They get distracted by the colour of my hair. I've felt less judged since I went purple.
I didn't ask dp what he thought of the idea of such a huge colour change, I just told him I was doing it lol
I don't ask others if something suits me cos I don't trust their being honest, like they would say yes to something I'd look like a dick in.
For me, it's about lack of self confidence, I protect myself with a shield

I know what shield I need and others try break that - in my head

If you look good in dungarees, just think how good you'd look in something else!

If you look good in dungarees, just think how good you'd look in something else!

Don't like to wear other stuff really. Hate dresses, hate jeans. HTH.

Me and dungarees are never going to get on but I am eyeing up a pair of chunky biker boots and wondering whether I could ....

@CherryPavlova

I dislike a mutton look, but each to their own. I’d not be seen dead in an animal print, skinny jeans, stilettos, but that’s my choice. It’s your choice too. Plenty of quite elderly women have very long hair.

What constitutes 'mutton' is a very subjective thing. You state it's the OP's choice what she wears, but simultaneously bitch about her choices in the same post - not very constructive.

Squeekums that's interesting, you are only human after all then.

I get what you're saying but I go the other way, I'll wear stuff to blend in a bit and not draw too much attention to myself.
I actually feel quite depressed writing that down! That said, I love clothes and looking at what other people are wearing.

I think it's a generational thing that people now in their 80s (70s plus maybe) were brought up to .

I remember in the 1980s being told by my mum that ra-ra skirts were for teenagers and I should be wearing something more sophisticated. I was 21 at the time !
I was also told that long hair wasn't appropriate for a married woman in her 30's . And don't get me started on watching my figure and ladylike drinking

Wear what you want, it's your life.

I think the only person who would be horrified if I wore dungarees would be my 15 year old daughter - but she's generally horrified by everything I do anyway!
My mum wouldn't care!

@DorisDances

Me and dungarees are never going to get on but I am eyeing up a pair of chunky biker boots and wondering whether I could ....

yes you can!

It's a trend but not a ludicrous one like micro handbags that would fit just a front door key

Tankinis are good if you have need different sizes top and bottom, but want your tummy covered.

This. Also as a pale skinned red head. My midriff is so pale it's practically transparent and I prefer to keep it covered, I always have.

People who think women in their 60s and over should wear 'conventional' clothes should remember we (some of us anyway) were the original hippies, punks, whatever in our youth and have always worn whatever we like.

@DontDribbleOnTheCarpet

The post where @MinnieMountain is explaining to @CeaseAndDesist about her MIL liking to keep her stomach covered but finding them easier to go to the toilet was about tankinis not dungarees

Wear whatever you like, it doesn’t matter what anyone thinks of it. I hate dungarees on adults though

[quote shinynewapple2020]@DontDribbleOnTheCarpet

The post where @MinnieMountain is explaining to @CeaseAndDesist about her MIL liking to keep her stomach covered but finding them easier to go to the toilet was about tankinis not dungarees [/quote]
Ah, that makes so much more sense!

You can wear whatever you want at whatever age you want. I absolutely hate this idea once you’re a certain age you can’t wear things !

Re the 'no long hair over 40' thing, a former friend of mine was forever hinting I should get mine cut, 'no woman over 40 should have hair past her shoulders' apparently. Why? Because she thought it was awful when you saw a long-haired woman from the back, thought she was young, and then she turned round and - gasp, shock! - revealed herself to be OLDER. The scandal!

This person's in her mid-50s so perhaps she's just being a bit 'of her time', but I find it misogynistic when anyone (male or female) tries to say certain styles of hair or clothing are for younger women only. I find the term 'mutton' particularly misogynistic.

@ChromaBook

I'm 33 and I'll be wearing dungarees and converse til the day I die. Could not give less of a shit what anyone else thinks.

Ah but when you are in your 80s dungarees and converse will be the equivalent of the Damart catalogue today

I'm not sure if it's a sign I swear too much or just that use to MN, but I had to go back and reread a couple times before I spotted rather than skipped over the swearing. Bit confused on why it's considered hate rather than expressive in this context.

The idea that you shouldn't criticise your mother for her opinion is ridiculous to me. There is nothing about being a mother that makes someone's opinion sacred and smiling and nodding and then doing whatever is passive to passive-aggressive. Sometimes it has to be done to get on when being assertive gets no where with some people, but not really a good standard for a relationship and it can backfire in so many ways.

My mother wore dungarees all the time, so it doesn't seem that unusual to me for someone in their 40s to wear them. As pp said, much of what is now old people wear was once younger fashions. I personally prefer swimsuits that look more like wrestler unitards, probably less likely to get called mutton, but I associate them more with my teen years than bikinis (which are what my mother and all my father's partners wore, I can't imagine any of them in a one-piece).

My 11 year old lives in animal prints whenever she can and loves seeing women in them.

Oddly, my spouse gets far more of these comments, he's been told many times that he's too old for long hair or a beard. He says he'll only cut his hair if he starts going bald because he hates the bald ponytail look - I think it's all the late '80s-90s bad and creepy guys with that look that's put him off it.

I’m well over 40 and I started growing my hair after I couldn’t have it cut in lockdown.
I’m going to be a granny with a grey bun !

I will be 62 in a few days. I wear what I like, although I gave up jeans aged 50 because I think they look sloppy and like you don't care.
I wear bikinis, but not mini skirts because I like warm legs!
As long as you dressed appropriately for the occasion and weather conditions, I see no issue with wearing what you like.

When did it become a thing for women of a certain age to cut their hair? I think it must have been when ladies of the cauliflower perm generation got to that age. Old ladies when I was very young had long hair that they wore in a bun or a plait. MIL, who has always been one for making up her own style rules, has adopted this look.

As for bikinis, I always find that a two-piece fits better and gets stuck up my bum less. Plus, I dislike how many swimsuits are cut very high in the leg these days and like a bit of bum coverage.

@feistyoneyouare

Re the 'no long hair over 40' thing, a former friend of mine was forever hinting I should get mine cut, 'no woman over 40 should have hair past her shoulders' apparently. Why? Because she thought it was awful when you saw a long-haired woman from the back, thought she was young, and then she turned round and - gasp, shock! - revealed herself to be OLDER. The scandal!

This person's in her mid-50s so perhaps she's just being a bit 'of her time', but I find it misogynistic when anyone (male or female) tries to say certain styles of hair or clothing are for younger women only. I find the term 'mutton' particularly misogynistic.

I am not sure she is being of her time, maybe she's just always been a conventional person? As a pp said, a lot of us in our 50s and 60s were mods/punks/hippies/goths/new romantics in our day and so have perhaps a different attirude to clothes and hair.

attitude not attirude!