To send a hamper to friend whose lost their parent?

[BabyCJuly]

Hi there,

Our friend has lost his mum after a short illness. She was only 59.

Is it insensitive to send a hamper of bits? I would make something to drop off but have a newborn.

Thoughts on a hamper to send? Not keen on sending flowers.

Thanks so much.

Honestly, just send a card with a heartfelt personal message to let them know you're thinking of them. When I lost my Mum I would have felt weird getting a hamper.

I think a hamper is a bit odd to be honest. A card and maybe a nice plant for the garden?

I’d just send a card too. I think I would find a hamper weird.

A card would be lovely, some friends brought round some ready meals and sweets which was incredibly thoughtful.

Sorry but I would find a plant for the garden odd too.

I personally would like that but then I hate flowers which is what others usually send in these circumstances 🤷🏽‍♀️

My mum has just lot her dad and I’m not totally sure a hamper would have been appreciated - she has just been in a fog of getting things done and not really focusing on food or anything. I think the thought is really kind though.

I would maybe just send a card with a personal message so he knows you’re thinking of him, and keep checking in every so often in case he wants to talk.

I’m not sure a hamper is a thing to send to someone who lost their parent
My dad died aged 61. If someone had sent me a hamper I would have been bemused
Hampers are celebratory : Christmas / Birthday /New Baby etc
Send a card with some well chosen words and take a cue as to any other “gifts” should the moment with your friend arise.

I think it is a lovely gesture to sent a hamper or flowers to show you are thinking of them. I received flowers when I lost my mum and appreciated them very much.

I think that’s a very thoughtful and lovely thing to do for your friend.

Having, sadly, experienced something similar myself recently I was overwhelmed by the caring and thoughtfulness of my lovely friends and what they sent me after my parent passed away. I got hamper type things and I was just so touched. In the overwhelming sadness I found it a great comfort to know I wasn’t on my own and people had been so lovely and thought of me - especially as I was unable to see them in person.

X

Just send a card with a heartfelt message in it. I would honestly think it weird if someone sent me a hamper. It's not about what you want to do.

A hamper weird. But when I lost my parent recently I really appreciated home cooked meals ( as I kept forgetting to eat

Thank you all. I think I’m going to make a lasagne to pop outside their door tomorrow and a card. What do people think? His dad is also my husbands godfather so if they like they can take the lasagne over to his dads so they can all have something to eat together.

Thanks so much for all your help ❤️❤️❤️

A lasagne and a card sounds perfect. You sound like a nice friend.

I just had cards when I lost my parents, that felt enough, and a few flowers

Do a supermarket delivery of wine, nice ready meals, cheese, cooked meats and chocolate. Things they can eat for ease or comfort. Much better than a hamper and so appreciated.

That or text them and offer to pay for a take away delivery. I did this for friends of mine who lost her husband at a similar age out of the blue in lockdown. I'd usually cook and drive over buy too far.

Someone sent me lots of home-cooked freezable food (plus other lovely bits of food from posh supermarket) when my mother died. It was a lovely gesture I haven’t forgotten.

Lasagne and card good. No to hamper, more a celebration type gift. Don't overthink it, to know they are in your thoughts is enough.

Thank you all xxxx sorry to panic it’s just this is our third friend to lose a parent in the last 3 weeks and we just want to be there for them. Thanks again ❤️ Have a good evening x

I don't actually see what is wrong with a hamper. I lost my DM earlier this year, and would have been delighted with such a gift. However, the lasagne will also be a lovely thing to give.

I think it depends on her circumstances. I was due to come home to an empty house after travelling home from the death and funeral of my father. One friend had looked after my place and though her various friends had left me a hamper of sweet treats, a hamper of bathroom bits like bubble bath etc and a bag in the fridge with pizza, milk, yogurt etc. I think people appreciate any kindness at an awful time and a practical kindness is better than a generic flowers i think.

Lasagne and card is a good idea. The hamper maybe not so much.

My DM died when I was in my 20s so very young and unexpected. I didn’t really eat at all for the first two weeks apart from the odd few chips!

Home cooked food would have been much appreciated and may have prompted me to actually eat something!

I’m shocked people are saying not to send anything?

The attitude to death in this country I very different to where I’m from - we would absolutely send hampers/have flowers delivered or something nice for a friend after they lost someone!
It’s the first thing I think to do in fact when someone loses a parent - get a gift for them!

Thank you all. I’ve just baked a lasagne and made some cookies. I also have bought some salad and garlic bread to go with it! Thanks everyone for all your help! Nice to think it out with you all xxx have a good evening xxx