Nursery being a CF or am I ?

[NurseryNightmare]

NC for this.. I registered DD for nursery, starting July 2020, in a pre Covid World.
In the meantime, my DH cheated on me, my World fell apart and I need to move from London, back to my parents in the West Country. I completely forgot the nursery registration. Received a mail from a nursery manager asking me to call her a week before DD was due to start and thats the only attempt they have made to contact me. The mail from the nursery manager was also the same week mediation with DH started and generally not the best week of my life. Now I understand Ive kept a nursery space for my DD and I should have advised the nursery, I totally understand that BUT the nursery havent contacted me since, and now Ive just discovered they have been sending me invoices each month since DD was due to start, for over £ 1500 monthly ! Ive only just discovered these as they went to spam. What can I do ? Do I call the nursery and tell them I cannot pay ? Im in tears at the moment as I really cannot afford to pay this invoice.

It sounds like you've been through the ringer, I'm really sorry for that. They aren't being cheeky fuckers though, as you acknowledge they could have given that place to another child. I would call them and explain your situation and make some kind of arrangement with them. Even if they insist you pay all that you owe, maybe they will let you negotiate some more affordable payment terms.

Personally I could 'get' them sending the first months invoice in lieu of notice from you but I think they really should have assumed when you didn't contact them or turn up at the nursery that your child clearly wasn't starting with them.

I don’t think you should pay unless you signed a legally binding contract.

See what you signed.

Yes, also check your contract

Yes definitely have a good read of your contract.

Yes call them, you probably signed in to a contract but they might be understanding if you explain the situation to them. they may have a waiting list and might be able to fill your DDs spot easily.

I'd check the contract. Also, the notice period. At the most, it's not reasonable for them to charge you for more than the notice period. They really should have tried harder to get in contact with you, surely they had your phone number.

It's going to depend on whether you signed a contract with them, and whether you told them you didn't want the place.

In the circumstances I would tell them you had sent a letter cancelling the place.

Just ring them and talk to them
The invoices are probably just sent automatically
The onus was definitely on you to cancel the place
I work for a chain of nurseries and we wouldn’t charge you under the circumstances but you certainly need to speak to them

Do they not have anything in the contract to say that if you haven’t paid after a certain date then you forfeit your place?

I can see them expecting one invoice payment but they probably have something to say that they have the right to advertise your DD’s place if you don’t pay. If they do, then they would be being CFs not to abide by their own contract.

Check your contract, call them and grovel and ask for help.

They are not doing anything wrong, don't forget they have staff to pay and nurseries already have really tight budgets! They haven't stopped contacting you.

I think is responsible for them to bill you for the notice period, but when your DD didn't attend, and you didn't contact them to delay her start, they should have assumed that you no longer needed the place. For DS's nursery notice would be 1month, but check your contract. I've heard of places who ask for a full terms notice, if that the case with this nursery they may try to charge you until Christmas.

Sorry your going through all this, it sounds like the last thing you need to be dealing with on top if all the other shit you have on your plate right now.

I would contact them and say you sent a letter giving them notice. You will need to pay probably a month's notice,but they must have had your phone number and I would have expected them to ring you and ask where your child was.

Sorry but if your child hasn't actually been to the nursery I'm struggling to see why you would be liable to pay any more than the notice period and even then they would need to be able to show that they had a reasonable expectation that you still intended to take up the place. They obviously seem to have a start date but when you never showed up or got in touch for a single settling in session or made any contact at all they were very unreasonable in pretending that they were still keeping a place open for you.

I think all that is pretty cheeky op.

Also if they don't know where you now live I am wondering realistically how they would do anything if you don't pay.

I would play tough with them. They are totally out of order. They have to take steps to mitigate their losses if they want to claim against you. They don't appear to have done anything. X

You should pay up. They could have had another child in the space. They rely on the fees to pay the staff.

I don't think they are cheeky fuckers to invoice you for the first month, I think that's fair enough but I think they are chancers to invoice anything else since they didn't contact you. I mean they were hardly there thinking they could make money off a kid they never met, I'm surprised they didn't call when you no showed the first week

I would apologise and pay one month.

It’s unreasonable for them to assume your DD was enrolled when she didn’t turn up, and they should have contacted you to ask if she’s ok and what’s going on. So one month is enough.

My main question is: do they have your mobile number? If yes, then they clearly didn’t even want to contact you after the first week or so of you not showing up. Paying the first month is very reasonable (I imagine that’s also your notice period?) but after that I’m sure they gave your place away anyway. That’s totally cheeky, they would have noticed it was a mistake and could have given you a quick call to check.

Have you actually moved out of London now? If so, presumably you've had to do other adulting things like sorting somewhere to stay? It is part of being a grown up, dealing with the "life admin", and that includes remembering to tell nurseries if you no longer need the place, and dealing with the consequences if you forget.

Contact and speak to the Nursery OP

They have contacted you, it’s not their fault that you don’t check your spam folder or that the emails sent to the address you provided weren’t seen. You still owe the money.

If you really do understand that you have cost them a space, then how can you question them expecting to be paid?

You need to contact them and work out a payment plan.

@Moltenpink

In the circumstances I would tell them you had sent a letter cancelling the place.

Not sure committing fraud is going to help the OP’s situation.

OP I would read your contact and see what the t&c state. I think it would be fair to pay for the first month because that would have been reasonable notice to end the arrangement, although I would obviously ask if they would consider waiving it.

It isn’t unreasonable to take the position that the nursery should have come to the conclusion you didn’t need the place after you failed to show for the first month and were uncontactable. A month is the maximum I would be prepared to pay.

I think you should offer the first payment, they did contact you.
However, I'd argue it was stupid they kept contacting after you didn't turn up.
Better still send the bills to your ex, let him deal with it, his child, too.

In my nursery they did home visits letters home loads of contact prior to starting has your ex been keeping those?

Were they closed during the pandemic and staff furloughed?