Menopause and feeling anxious

[WinchesForFinches]

So yet another headline wrotttn by a journalist who is experiencing menopause has popped up on my timeline along the lines of “no one told me I’d go mad at 45” I didn’t read it because I’d have to pay for that privilege.

I’m nearly 42 and hurtling towards menopause myself. I’m anxious and dreading it. All I ever hear is how awful it is, how much of a forgetful, useless, unattractive, invisible psychopath who is of no requirement to society that I am likely to become.

AIBU to wish there was more information out there about this that wasn’t so anxiety inducing? I already have no self esteem no self confidence and absolutely hate my appearance which is something that’s been with me my entire life but increasingly worse as I get older and I’m being told left right and centre that this is only going to get worse and I’m going to be scrapped like a run down old car.

I am a victim to my hormones already, I’ve never been able to safely use hormonal contraceptives because they mess my body and mind up so badly.

I just hate this. Can anyone put a positive spin on this thread?

@MillyMollyFarmer

When do they normally suggest HRT? I had tests and the doctor said I’m in peri menopause. I saw someone privately. I actually have no idea when you are meant to start it? Post menopause?

@MillyMollyFarmer

I went to my Dr at 44 after suffering symptoms for about one year.
I don’t respond well to medication and was resistant to ask for help and really quite confused at what was wrong with me. I actually considered that I had early onset dementia ...I actually couldn’t finish sentences at one point.
I was offered the coil initially but there was a huge wait list and after 3 months I went back and announced GIVE ME ALL YOUR DRUGS

or I will kill everyone in the building
However hrt has really helped.

It's like asking for birth stories, but only wanting to hear the straightforward ones. You know they exist, but they don't make much of a story. Personally, I've found the physical symptoms very mild. Mentally and emotionally, it's a different story. But everyone's different. Don't borrow worry from tomorrow when worry won't change things. You'll get what comes, and you'll deal with it.

Yes, this gave me the menopausal rage. me too.

Why am I being targeted like this? I find you quite passive-aggressive, perhaps other posters do too?

It is a bit of a shit time OP, (insanity, hot flushes, inability to concentrate to list a few) but you do find yourself giving less of a fuck, which makes life easier.

Mine seems to be ok..so try not to worry what's coming.
...at first my periods were heavy but stopped, not had one for 10 months.. flushes yes, tired but then who's not.
I'm doing not to bad as my sister's (. 3 ) had her for being they're words, Psycho bitches.

Hrt not her 😬

IheartJKR I’m 44 too and it’s been years of symptoms and over a year since a hormone test indicated I was in peri. I also want to flip out at everyone so I think it’s time!

My Dr surgery aren't doing normal apts right nor but luckily my husband has added me to his words private doctor service and I have a phone call tomorrow. I've made notes to tell them but have no idea if they can even send me for blood tests at the minute? Am 47. Periods still refular(ish) but very painful on first day now and only last 2 or 3 days. My temper is shocking, the daytime sweating has been hideous the last 6 months, I can't finish a sentence and I'm sure my 9 year old hates me by now 🤦‍♀️ I've put on weight despite exercising hard 5 out of 7 days and eating well.

I'm post menopause and anxiety issues have remained with me. I drive a lot as part of my work and make about 8 calls a day to extremely rural homes. The anxiety I feel about locating these addresses is quite bizarre. I just can't explain why it stresses me so much. Most of my clients will have health or mental health issues so their ability to give directions is poor and Google maps etc are only of limited use.
Be kind to yourself and very careful with your diet would be my main learning points.

I really wish that there was more information out there about perimenopause and menopause and that it wasn't so shrouded in mystery. All we ever hear about in the press is the horror stories, which of course get published because they make interesting reading, when in fact lots of women pretty much sail through without too many issues.

Every woman experiences it differently, and until you are going through it you have no idea how it's going to affect you. For some women it can be horrendous, others barely notice it.

I was somewhere between the two. My periods went haywire in my mid-40s but a Mirena coil fixed that. I didn't really have hot flushes, just a general rise in body temperature especially at night. I didn't feel the need for HRT myself, but it's invaluable for many women. I did have brain fog from time to time, but I'm happy to say that's improved now I'm officially postmenopausal.

I'm now 56 and I feel good physically and mentally, so it's a positive time for me.

Everybody is different in the menopause. I’ve been lucky in that I’ve had very few symptoms. My main symptom is not sleeping well but I’ve turned that into a positive thing - I just get up early and do more. Try not to worry about something that might not be worth worrying about, yo might be fine then it will be a waste of mental energy.

We’re all a bit scared of the menopause. We all know brilliant women who have gone through it and managed. It’ll be alright x

I’m nearly 42 and hurtling towards menopause myself. I’m anxious and dreading it. All I ever hear is how awful it is, how much of a forgetful, useless, unattractive, invisible psychopath who is of no requirement to society that I am likely to become.

There are loads of books out now on the menopause, so check out your local library, and maybe they will calm you somewhat. Perimenopause can be a bitch, for many, and it is worthwhile reading up on symptoms so you can place them in context and get help or find mitigating measures for worrisome ones. The average age for menopause itself is around 51, but later for some, and you don't want to be worrying unnecessarily for ten plus years about things that may not happen. And while some symptoms can be hard to live with, I think roughly 20% of women don't have any hot flushes at all, for one thing.

There is a lot you can do with diet and pleasant movement aka exercise to improve your overall health now and in these years, so your skin, your gut, your bones, your state of mind, your vascular and brain health improve and you have a chance at a marvellous mid and older life. There are plenty of vibrant older women who have survived the change, and are thriving. Others have a far more difficult time, but don't assume you necessarily will, as if it is written in stone.

You may be fine OP

I didn't worry
I was also looking forward to "no periods"

I'm 64 and another one who has been lucky to experience no significant symptoms
(except adding a bit to my waist, which I zapped 6 years ago via 5:2 and have kept off)

I'm now retired and a very happy gym rat
Post-meno is fine for me

Oh and since I had hardly any symptoms, I didn't take HRT