Scolding Bug Killing Child

[Suzy8920]

So I was at the park with my youngest and we were walking along the path when we came across a snail. My daughter, who'll be 4 in a few weeks, saw it and deliberately stomped on the snail.

I found myself scolding the child for squashing it but then I started thinking that I deliberately squash bugs myself quite often - usually spiders and moths in my home though, not outside.

I think I reprimanded her more so for how she brutally stomped on it outside but now I'm not sure if I'm being a hypocrite sending mixed signals cause I've squished a lot of spiders to death in front of her.

Was I unreasonable or would you have a similar reaction to your child deliberately squishing a bug like this?

I would have told her not to do that again, as it's just a little creature. and has to be left alone outside. Same with spiders, you can catch them and put them outside. My pet hate is slimy slugs, I get them in my kitchen, but don't kill them, I just brush them up onto an old dustpan, and chuck them outside. ( into my neighbours garden ! )

@1forAll74

I would have told her not to do that again, as it's just a little creature. and has to be left alone outside. Same with spiders, you can catch them and put them outside. My pet hate is slimy slugs, I get them in my kitchen, but don't kill them, I just brush them up onto an old dustpan, and chuck them outside. ( into my neighbours garden ! )

If slugs are eating your veggies or flowers, don't use slug pellets as they harm hedgehogs. Salt is cruel too. Get a.saucer, our some lager or beer in it and the slugs will get drunk and fall in. They will drown but will be drunk and happy. They can then go to slug heaven peacefully. Just a tip.

I think some of the reactions might be a tad OTT.

However I do think it is right that she has learned modelled behaviour from you as she obviously thinks squishing insects is what you do.

I think teach her to be curious and inquisitive and respectful of life (eg if you see a snail in the path you can have a look at it with her and then put it in a bush nearby).

Maybe reset with a minibeast hunt in your garden or in the woods (look under logs etc)?

I dont kill any bug or chancer in my house, I catch it and set it free. My son also does not kill creatures we watch out for them and move them to safety. I think your daughter is just copying what you have done.

We all make decisions, don't we? I don't see the point of this "kill all animals or kill no animals" argument. I let spiders and most other insects live unless they are an infestation or a real threat. I'd squash a false widow if I couldn't catch it. I'd have pest control in for cockroaches which are filthy and harmful. I swat mosquitos.
Wasps I usher out the window as in my experience they aren't actually much more prone to stinging than bees if you are calm around them but if I or a member of my family had an allergy to them I might not be so relaxed. Mice I have lived with in some flats quite comfortably but if I had had a cat or a dog I would have let nature prevail.

Agree with CarterBeatsTheDevil. It's the balance, that matter.

Kill, kill, kill! Insects and spiders are there to be stamped on ffs. If they trespass on my property they get what's coming to them - no way I will just allow them to scuttle about on my living room floor.

I'd have reacted the same but then I don't squash anything. Spiders go out, particularly annoying flies that can't be shooed out might get sprayed. I could never squash anything.

As one other poster mentioned, and I would really like vegetarians, vegans, and anyone else who says they never kill any creature, to answer this question please: have your DC ever had headlice, and if so how did you get rid of them without killing them?
Having said that, I brought my children up with the same rule as some pp's on here, if it is outside, we never purposely kill any free living creature, if it is inside our house, we will only kill dirty/poisonus/ scary ones if we cannot get rid of them any other way, and when we feel it is necessary to kill something ie spiders/flies/wasps, we, my DH (for spiders - I can barely look at photos of them, never mind get close enough to kill them), and I, do it as quickly as possible. I still feel ashamed to be a meat eater, and that I kill any innocent creatures.

Is be livid if my child did this, but then she wouldn't because I've brought her up with my values

The piety on this thread is Mumsnet alternative universe at it’s very finest

I’d have told her off, try not to squash bugs, relocate crawlers, but those fat bastard spiders and wasps and hornets are getting hoovered. Like most parents do and have managed to raise kids that aren’t serial killers

I also eat meat, am generally not a psychopath on any given day, and don’t carry a Buddhist broom to sweep the road in front of my shoes just in case.

There's some really sanctimonious bullshit on this thread.

I would be really upset if my girl started out with this but then I love invertebrates and find them really interesting

As things stand at 18 months she loves the ones we keep, giant snails, giant millipedes, mantids and so on

She picks up spiders and says awwww bug so hopefully me and her dad are rubbing off on her

@contrmary
Well aren't you charming. Does that include butterflies and some of the prettier moths? What about bumblebees? And actually, bugs and spiders are there to be part of the eco-system.

I would, but I also dont kill flies or spiders. I think you were hypocritical, either teach her to kill animals or not to.

For fucks sake, this is up there with one of the most ridiculous threads about.

“Ranunculi

Most serial killers start by murdering small animals. You’ve set an example of killing other living creatures, why are you surprised that your child has followed your example?”

Unbelievable.

Why kill spiders and moths ? They don't do you any harm.

Haha I didn't realise when I wrote the title that it sounded like a fire breathing bug killing my child 😂

Responding to a lot of the posts there really is no moral defense, and I hate to admit it but I feel like I gave out to her more because it felt like the right thing to do. I wasn't really horrified by the squishing itself. Like squishing a spider in my home doesn't bother me and it's more cause I don't want it in my house and it's the easiest and most logical thing to do. I'm not going out of my way to smush something which I felt was a teeny bit different?

Don't kill spiders but I have voted Yanbu as I think your DD should have been told off.

Dd Sounds like a chip off the old block

Pretty grim really, that your 'logic' tells you to squish a spider.

I don't like handling them but I couldn't kill them.

@Suzy8920 Little tip, grab a glass from the kitchen cupboard, pop over the spider, slide a piece of paper underneath glass, carry both outside and set the spider free. No need to murder it. I'm sure you'll feel much better for it and your daughter will follow your lead hopefully in the future 👍.

Pretty grim really, that your 'logic' tells you to squish a spider.

Well, if you don't want it in your house it is a fairly logical solution. Much faster and less labour intensive than faffing around trying to trap it. Less likely to result in it finding its way back in, or getting maimed if you're not accurate enough with your glass. And some species of house spiders, if put outside, will starve or freeze to death.

Personally, I leave the wispy-legged ones alone because they kill other, meatier spiders (unless my daughter sees them in which case we pop them in a clear hard-sided bag she has so she can have a good look before we release them outside). Small ones I leave, big meaty ones that scurry across my floor tend to get squashed (too fast to catch easily) though I'd probably need to attempt to catch it if DD was around to see. Any in DD's bedroom get removed because some spiders do bite and I don't want her bitten. I view it as survival of the fittest in action- the sneaky ones who stay out of sight get to live and breed, the stupid ones who think they can strut across my living room floor as bold as brass don't.

Please stop killing things and setting such a bad example to your kids. The world need more people with empathy for other living things, not less! 😢😡

Yanbu, although I get why you are questioning your logic. 99% of the time I remove bugs from the house or just ignore them until a time it is more convenient to get rid of such as when they are not chilling out on a ceiling. Some of the time I never see them again.

Indoors they can be considered pests while outdoors they are in their natural environment so leave them be. I do think when I am chucking out a house spider that I am just sending it to its death anyway by chucking it outside.

My dd aged 3 at the time once crouched down to have a good look at a daddy long legs minding its own business when she suddenly slammed her hand down on it. Too young to tell off in this case but she hasn't done it since.

I read this completely wrong!! I thought you meant "a scolding bug (insect or infection) is killing my child”

I thought this too.

I would tell my child off for gratuitously squashing a bug. Just seems unnecessary. I have also told him not to damage a spider’s web.

I am somewhat of a hypocrite, because while I would never touch a spider (completely harmless in the U.K.) I have been known to kill flies and wasps if I can’t get them to go out of the door/ window. Flies because they carry disease and land on food, and wasps because they sting! I wouldn’t kill a bee though.