Long time lurker but first time poster, just need to know if it’s me being unreasonable or not!
Just a bit of background information, I became a widow in my mid 30s. My late husband had never wanted children and as I was approaching my late 30s I decided to try sperm donation. I ended up, after a conversation while drunk, deciding to have a baby with my very good gay friend.
Our DD was born in April. We co-parent successfully, and he’s an amazing dad. He works very odd shifts that differ from week to week, and because of this we are limited in the days he can have her. He’s recently started working in a new place once a week, and the night before is a night that he always has her on. To start with we were meeting halfway between his house and his work, but he then cleared it with his bosses that I could pick DD up from this place as long as it was before about 9:30.
The first few weeks were fine, then when I turned up his female boss was always cuddling my DD and I could hear her mumbling to DD that her nasty mummy was here to take her away from them all before eventually unlocking the door.
This week, female boss came to the door with my DD, her Dad was in the same area but working on a computer, and very loudly said to DD something along the lines of “It’s nasty mummy, she always insists on taking you away from us. You want to stay here though with us don’t you. Tell mummy you are staying here” over and over again.
I started asking nicely to start with for her to unlock the door and give me DD but she refused, and in the end I flipped and told her to keep DD for the day then and I stormed off back to my car. Cue loads of phone calls and text messages from DDs dad saying I had to come back now for her as they had clients in shortly and it would be unprofessional to have such a small baby there.
I insisted he bring her out to me in the car park and he went absolutely mad saying his boss was having a joke, I had no sense of humour and I’d made myself and him look like idiots. Since then I’ve asked if we can change arrangements so that I don’t have to go there again, but he’s saying he wants to show his daughter off to his colleagues and they all love seeing her.
I’m at a loss. I feel I behaved fairly, and equally fairly asking him not to take DD there anymore. But he feels I’m in the wrong. I’m already dreading having to pick her up from there this week but I just don’t know what to do and if I overreacted.
AIBU?