Angry with husband for sleeping

[DBML]

I’ll start by saying that my husband is a really good guy and we rarely have cross words. So it’s really unusual for me to feel this level of anger with him and I don’t know whether I’m being completely unreasonable and perhaps taking work stresses out on him.

But I’m seething. Because Friday evening, he was having a bit of trouble with a neck ache, so he took some Tramadol and Methocarbamol. He never takes tablets and was prescribed these particular drugs months ago for a back spasm. He had a terrible reaction to them at the time (nausea and vomiting) so I was cross that he was taking them and told him not to. He didn’t listen and ended up having to go up to bed early.

Saturday morning comes and he’s queasy, so he firstly goes nuts at the gym 🙄 and then decides to go buy benedryl from Tesco, having read it stops nausea. By early afternoon he’s having to go to bed he’s so sleepy...and he doesn’t get up until 10am THIS MORNING!

So all the nice plans we had; a beach day today; seeing family; nice walks etc have not transpired because he’s slept all weekend and it’s back to work tomorrow for us both until next weekend.

I’m so freaking angry! That yes, I’ve managed to ruin today too as I’ve shouted at him and ignored him. But I work so hard during the week, I’ve been soooo stressed out at work and really resent that he’s wasted the weekend.

Ok. Holding my breathe for responses. AIBU yeas or no?
Thank you in advance.

He maybe shouldn’t have taken the tablets but you shouldn’t depend upon him being a necessary factor in you having a good weekend.

Maybe he was in so much pain he felt the trade off with the side effects was worth it. And pain makes you tired too. Why didn't you go out and then go out again with him later after he'd had a rest, if he felt up to it?

You should have done all those things without him

Fair play OP.

You might want to hide the thread now as subsequent posters won’t have RTFT

I think the problem is that I’m spoiled and today I’ve behaved like a selfish madam

🙄

Invest in a heat lamp.

I injured my back in June and couldn't move from my bed for weeks, was on horrible amounts of about 5 different pain killers, including oramorph. It has left me with some quite bad referred pain in my neck which can be really bad sometimes and others OK. I use the heat lamp on it and it is gradually easing it.

You could have gone yourself, rather than be a martyr.

It’s not the end of the world.

You say he never takes tablets so he was clearly in a lot of pain to take the strong stuff. Seems a bit of an overreaction but what's done is done. Talk it out and don't let it ruin the evening too

Thanks once again everyone, for the blunt comments as well as some really supportive comments, which have been greatly appreciated!

Just to answer the questions about why I didn’t just go out myself, well - no excuse, I guess I just enjoy spending time with DH and I was bitterly disappointed, especially because of the weather. As I say, it doesn’t excuse me and I should have just gone out and left him to sleep.

Thank you once again for some of the very kind messages. And I will heed advice and hide the thread now.

Enjoy your Sunday evening all xx

I know it's upsetting to have missed out on your planned weekend activities, but it seems to be a one off instance and he was only trying to get some relief from pain. It must have been pretty bad for him to try Tramadol; that's heavy duty stuff.

peace OP.

Honestly, I'd have just gone off on my own and had a nice day out....

also OP - wondered how old you are coz anger and the peri/menopause are feverish bedfellows.

@mumsthewurd

40

OK - just keep an eye on your mood. If you find yourself getting irrationally angry more often have a word with your GP. Thyroid being out of whack can also cause this, or just good old-fashioned PMT. Go gentle.

What an amazing life you must have if this is all you have to complain about.
Can’t you go to the beach by yourself?
Poor bloke.

Thank you @mumsthewurd I will watch for it. It is unusual for me to feel so angry. I almost feel like the anger built through the week and exploded this weekend when things didn’t go as planned. I’m not proud, but I feel much more relaxed now, than I have done all week. Still, not an excuse, but DH is fine now and happily having his tea.
Thank you again. X

• What an amazing life you must have if this is all you have to complain about. Can’t you go to the beach by yourself? Poor bloke.*

Have you tried reading the full thread? Or even just the OP's updates?

I think YABU but not necessarily on purpose, possibly just a bit of short sightedness here. I would’ve been annoyed also that he took those tablets and then a drowsy medication knowing how they affect him, the lack of common sense would’ve irritated me lol however you wouldn’t want him in pain so it’s a trade off I feel.

You’ve apologised and he has accepted that so at least if this ever happens again you’ll be able to nip the feelings of annoyance in the bud and know how better to deal with the situation.

I probably would’ve taken myself out for some shopping and nice lunch and left him to rest in all honesty, there’s still time for a takeaway and Netflix!

Note to new posters - please don't rag on OP. She realised she's BU and is off to apologise to her DH. She feels quite bad already and probably doesn't need an extended bashing from outraged mumsnetters.

He's fucked up one weekend.

There's plenty more.

Glad all OK OP. I was an arsehole to 16 year old DS this morning (I should add that he's been a bit of an arsehole for a few days now but that's no excuse) and had to apologise to him.

He was unwell, cant believe you were yelling at him for being sick? Couldnt you just go out by yourself?

@DBML
Fair play to you for apologising , well done and glad to hear you made up. Don't keep beating yourself up, we all can have mini tantrums on occasion !

I voted YABU, but I admire you for taking PPs' comments on board.

I'm glad things worked out OP, he sounds like a lovely husband despite the extreme pain relief, I'd probably still be asleep now after taking Tramadol and Benedryl!

@mumsthewurd The peri menopause point is a good one. I went through menopause early and I was ready for the physical effects but the mental effects totally floored me.