Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Angry with husband for sleeping

85 replies

DBML · 20/09/2020 17:13

I’ll start by saying that my husband is a really good guy and we rarely have cross words. So it’s really unusual for me to feel this level of anger with him and I don’t know whether I’m being completely unreasonable and perhaps taking work stresses out on him.

But I’m seething. Because Friday evening, he was having a bit of trouble with a neck ache, so he took some Tramadol and Methocarbamol. He never takes tablets and was prescribed these particular drugs months ago for a back spasm. He had a terrible reaction to them at the time (nausea and vomiting) so I was cross that he was taking them and told him not to. He didn’t listen and ended up having to go up to bed early.

Saturday morning comes and he’s queasy, so he firstly goes nuts at the gym 🙄 and then decides to go buy benedryl from Tesco, having read it stops nausea. By early afternoon he’s having to go to bed he’s so sleepy...and he doesn’t get up until 10am THIS MORNING!

So all the nice plans we had; a beach day today; seeing family; nice walks etc have not transpired because he’s slept all weekend and it’s back to work tomorrow for us both until next weekend.

I’m so freaking angry! That yes, I’ve managed to ruin today too as I’ve shouted at him and ignored him. But I work so hard during the week, I’ve been soooo stressed out at work and really resent that he’s wasted the weekend.

Ok. Holding my breathe for responses. AIBU yeas or no?
Thank you in advance.

OP posts:
Bookrat · 20/09/2020 18:07

I voted YABU, but I admire you for taking PPs' comments on board. Hope your apology is accepted graciously and you can both have a good evening Smile

Original poster
DBML · 20/09/2020 18:08

So, I’ve apologised and he’s such a nice man, he told me I didn’t need to apologise and that he’s sorry he spoiled the weekend.

I think the problem is that I’m spoiled and today I’ve behaved like a selfish madam.

OP posts:
Original poster
DBML · 20/09/2020 18:09

Thank you everyone. I feel like a massive dick, but I appreciate your honest responses and I’m glad I posted.

OP posts:
Afibtomyboy · 20/09/2020 18:09

@ancientgran

Don't beat yourself up, it is hard dealing with other people's pain sometimes. My husband is disabled, has been for nearly 30 years. He is often in terrible pain to the point he will call out or even scream. Sometimes it really gets on my nerves and I have to remind myself he has lived with that pain for so long and it must be awful. None of us are perect.
Your situation sounds ever so slightly different from the OP’s Confused
Daphnise · 20/09/2020 18:10

I'd say you are making a big fuss about almost nothing.

If I were him I might lie in much more often.

And much later.

sadie9 · 20/09/2020 18:11

I'd have been annoyed if my DH took both those medications together for a neck pain. Was the neck pain from over doing the weight lifting or something? A neck pain isn't being sick. He made himself sick by taking random meds he had lying around that he knew he had a reaction to.
If he had nausea from taking meds he should have gone and asked at the pharmacy? He sounds like someone who doesn't listen to others.
He doesn't even learn from his own past experience.
I suspect he's quite exasperating.

Cherrypies · 20/09/2020 18:13

@DBML

Thank you everyone. I feel like a massive dick, but I appreciate your honest responses and I’m glad I posted.
It takes guts to acknowledge when you are wrong

Respect to youSmile

ancientgran · 20/09/2020 18:15

@Afibtomyboy of course it isn't the same but it means I do understand that unless you are a saint you don't always deal with these things they way you should.

phoenix65 · 20/09/2020 18:17

op, I read the first post without reading subsequent posts and feel guilty for saying yabu. It's lovely that you apologised.

YouJustDoYou · 20/09/2020 18:18

One day....and you're this angry.. seriously, just leave him behind and go and enjoy yourselves. No all of us have the luxury of partners every weekend, we just carry on with life so the kids don't miss out.

SeekingCoffee33 · 20/09/2020 18:22

I’ve been there. You’ve apologised. Lesson learned Flowers Next time leave him home and go yourself

Choccylips · 20/09/2020 18:23

If he's usually a good guy now is the time to show him a bit of patience, hopefully he will recover soon if its so bad he probably needs steroid injections. I had several lots and a lot better now, I have to be because I have to wash and dress my DP isolation is an every day thing but aye oh life goes on and while ever it does we will keep going.

ChrisPrattsFace · 20/09/2020 18:24

You ruined your weekend, not him.
By making it an issue and holding a grudge.

itsgettingweird · 20/09/2020 18:24

Hey we all get stressed. You've talked and it's fine now.

I took ds trainjng Friday evening and sat am. Met parents for coffee and did a quick shop. Came home and paid down reading for an hour and pulled something in my shoulder when I sat up. I was in agony. Tried all sorts but didn't touch pain. Fell asleep on sofa at 8pm and for up at 10am (in bed!)
Quick shop this morning for rest of food and have spent most of today lazing.

I'm pissed off I've wasted most of my own weekend of sunshine sleeping Grin

It's really annoying to have plans and also possible to overreact when your precious weekend is ruined.

Glad you realised your anger was misdirected and that all is well again.

Enjoy your evening

dollypartonscoat · 20/09/2020 18:25

You've done the right thing Grin

Now forget it and have a nice chilled evening

IsurvivedbutdidI · 20/09/2020 18:25

He's clearly not feeling great. We had plans this weekend but my husband was feeling out of sorts - it's not his fault.

jessstan2 · 20/09/2020 18:25

Could you not have gone out without him? He would probably have appreciated quiet time on his own.

10am on a Sunday is not late to be getting up.

I know you were disappointed but shouting at the man hardly helped when he wasn't well.

jessstan2 · 20/09/2020 18:27

@DBML

So, I’ve apologised and he’s such a nice man, he told me I didn’t need to apologise and that he’s sorry he spoiled the weekend.

I think the problem is that I’m spoiled and today I’ve behaved like a selfish madam.

Never mind, it's all over now. It is good that you apologised and I doubt you will be the same again should a similar situation arise.

Onwards and upwards.

SantaClaritaDiet · 20/09/2020 18:28

OP if you have time, grab a picnic and go to the beach with him to have a sunset diner, might as well finish on a high note!

BewilderedDoughnut · 20/09/2020 18:30

You shouldn’t be shouting at him. Shouting is very aggressive, there are far better and healthier ways to communicate your frustrations.

Bluetrews25 · 20/09/2020 18:32

OP well done for being a good person and apologising.
You win MN today for that, surely? Star Grin

Cassilis · 20/09/2020 18:34

OP, prepare for yourself for an avalanche of posts from people who haven’t rtft.

Eastie77 · 20/09/2020 18:35

I'm glad you apologised. As someone who suffers occasionally with neck pain and back spasms I read your OP and felt very sorry for your DH. Hope the weather holds and you can hopefully have another nice day out.

Terrace58 · 20/09/2020 18:39

If he was in that much pain, I don’t see how your weekend activities were going to proceed.

mumsthewurd · 20/09/2020 18:39

OMGOSH. YABU.
Stuff happens OP. People get sick. Please be thankful it's just a weekend. Some of us have family members we care for FT.