To think an adult nanny service would be a great idea

[GoldfishParade]

Hear me out. When I was suffering epic panic attacks and moving into my own flat after a nervous breakdown, I would have loved to be able to call and hire out someone as a kind of "babysitter" in the evenings when my panic attacks would get the worst. You cant always ask friends to stay over, they have shit they need to be getting on with. Just someone who would have watched telly or read or whatever whilst I went to sleep

On the relationships board i read so many horrible stories of women who are terrified but need to leave their partners. I just think how great would it be if they could call this service and someone could come around and basically hand hold, help them back a bag, help them get on a bus or whatever.

I'm sure there are loads of other areas where this kind of thing would be really useful (feel free to add if you have ideas).

Do you see where I'm coming from? I just think it would be great and there would be so many uses!

Imagine you're single and really ill. You could hire them to come around, make you some soup, bring you some tea and stuff.

This is partly where friends and family come in, but there are lots of reasons why you might not want to impose on their time. Embarrassment, not wanting to impose, moved to a new area, etc.

This is something your friends would do in an a better world.

I’m not sure it would be a better world if your friends were consigned to your house for hours at a time.

Cadent most carers/companions I know that are paid jobs (or not volunteers) earn more than a jobs like working in retail or being a Teacher Assistant or nursery worker.
Why are you so against it? It's a job/service no worse than plenty of others.

We have this where I live - in our area they're called village helpers (apparently they used to be called village mothers). They're funded by a mix of social services and health insurance (which is mostly state health insurance essentially like national insurance not like American health insurance - everyone in work has 15.5% contributions deducted from pay along with tax, though there are ways to opt for private insurance instead, and those not in work are covered by the state).

I've never used the service so I'm not sure exactly how the details work, but there are posters up in Kindergartens (the ones in Kindergartens emphasise that it's an option to call the village helper if a parent is ill or not coping), on village notice boards, libraries etc.

@Fluffycloudland77 Agree completely. It's not until you're ill that you find out who your real friends are. I only have 2 friends I feel I can ever ask a favour of, and even then, I feel bad about it.

One of my friends was in a car accident, broke an arm and a leg, she didn't get help theu her local social services as she didn't meet the requirements, but she hired a care
Agency to pop in twice a day while hubby was a work to help get a drink, toilet etc till she could get about by herself

Its also worth looking at taking in a lodger if you have the space.

absolutely, but you can't expect lodgers to help out or become a companion of any kind.

A relative does this at nights, she was a nurse and started a private nursing job for a paraplegic man and several others heard of her and it just took off. She doesn't really do any care or nursing for them, more like a night companion for elderly/vulnerable people who might just need to know someone else is in the house if they need them. She gets very well paid for it too!

@GoldfishParade Yeah, Patrick is a god send. It took us a few interviews to find the right fit as we needed something a little outside the normal services PAs offer but he is great. My brother knows that Patrick is paid and thinks of him as friend/social coach: “Like your personal trainer tries to teach you to be healthy” Thanks bro.

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These are all things support workers do. You only need to jump through hoops getting one if you need the LA to pay for it.

But if you can afford it, you can ring a support agency and tell them what hours your require and what your needs are. You could book in advance or even closer to the day.

Support workers help people with whatever they need to live independently. A friend worked as a support worker in uni and said her main client was an alcoholic who just needed companionship calls to help stay sober, and she often say with her and listened to music and watch TV. She wasn't allowed to to anything if the client chose to drink but leave immediately and still be paid for her time. Another just needed someone to take her to restaurants and occasionally spendthe night sleeping on an overnight shift due to anxiety.

As long as a client's needs meet the requirements of a risk assessment - anything goes.

@GoldfishParade
Splendid idea! But it would need really strict vetting and CRB checking-
It would be prohibitively expensive but oh boy I could have used it when DS was small
Having a migraine or Norovirus and needing someone to collect Kids from school or get their tea-
For those of us who have zero family nearby, an adult nanny would be superb.

@winterisstillcoming

My mum has a lodger for this very reason

This is what I would do if my children left home. I'm moving to be closer to family as soon as I can. Eldest wants to go to local university to my parents and live at home to save money. So realistically I've got them living with me for at least the next 10 -15 years. BUT I know how lonely I would find it without living with someone.

I do this sort of thing. Clients though tend to be funded at least in part by social services so there are hoops to go through. I tend to work with children but those children get older and become young adults. I also have an client in her 60's. Personal Assistant, Companion, whatever you want to call it. I'm in Surrey and we have Surrey Independent Living Council who have a list of PA's, though I'm not on that list myself as I don't do much of this kind of care work - I'm mostly a children's nanny - but people hear of me occasionally.

It's interesting to see through these pages that not wanting to be alone at night seems fairly common. It's funny it's like how children need a night light - but this is the adult version

That is incredibly well paid !
£25 ph!

My SIL is a paid companion- she works for an agency.
Mostly rich elderly clients, she visits just to chat, have tea, do a crossword together, go out for a coffee.
She does no personal care, no housework.

Re sleeping alone, it is probably a habit learned young?
My parents used to leave me alone for weeks in the summer hols and their house was big and scary.
I’d imagine a bubble of light or protection around my bed, and after locking up felt quite safe!

I have a (rather wealthy) elderly female relative who pays someone called an "Oxford Aunt" to do this very thing.

I like the idea of somehow updating the service to move it away from the "lady's companion" of Barbara Pym novels and make it more accessible for those of a range of social backgrounds and economic circumstances. What the business model would look like, however, I can't quite envisage.

@oakleaffy

That's what the businesses charge, the staff don't get that

OP surely you know that this already exists for people with mental health issues. My brother has depression and he lives in his own flat, and he has a support worker that goes in to him every day.

My friend has depression, and she has a main support worker , and also a support worker that comes to help her with organising and cleaning. She really doea need that as she is not able to clean. He doesn't do the cleaning for her, but he comes and encourages her and points out where things should go, etc

@oakleaffy

That is incredibly well paid ! £25 ph!

The 'sitter' doesn't get £25 an hour. They'll get minimum wage. The rest of the money will be paying the sitting agency for all the checks, CQC inspections, PPE, travel, training etc etc etc.

And good idea OP, just not called Adult nanny please - that gives nightmare visions of grown men wearing nappies and asking to be put on the naughty step.

My ndn used to do this for “old ladies“. She stopped when she turned 80! Sit with them, make teas, go for a walk, light shopping, look after them on bad days. They didn’t qualify or need ft carers, just a companion.

Perhaps someone like Jean Passepartout ?

Sarahpaula I think the OP wants someone she could call and book on an ad hoc basis herself, rather than going through a social services assessment to see whether she qualifies for a support worker.