OH spending hundreds on games for DSC when we are struggling financially. AIBU?

[Jods90]

I haven't said anything to my other half as I may be being unreasonable but would like to hear your thoughts.

My partners children have both had birthdays recently and they asked for specific games for their console. They both wanted two each and the total was just over £200, then spending money. They are 7 and 8.

Neither us nor their mother are well off, but their mother is very sensible and looks for pre owned games on ebay. The ones they wanted brand new cost between 49.99 and 59.99 each

OH bought them brand new from GAME and I was shocked at the price, not least because we aren't in a good place financially after I was made redundant. All our finances are joined.

We also desperately need to move and are struggling to put any money aside for that.

I couldn't justify (or fathom) spending that much on my DC (also his) when we are effectively poor at the moment.

Him splashing out for their birthdays meant we had to struggle for the rest of the month but I didn't say anything at the time, wanting them to be happy on their birthdays.

For Christmas my DC will be having nowhere near that amount spend on them because I refuse to leave myself brasset for the sake of presents.

Since when do such young children require such expensive presents? What happened to buying toys?!

Your thoughts please.

I expect there was an element of disney dadding, by that I mean wanting to look good.

That's what it sounds like to me too. One game each would have been fine for a birthday, and I'm sure they would have been thrilled, esp if you added the £10 spending money on top (mine get v excited at actual money as a present).

Hundreds of hours on a game for a 7 or 8 year old is a waste of their childhood.

It’s pathetic that he only wrote his name on the label!
And he’s a nasty little shit going off with the dog in a mood now because you reasonably wanted to discuss finances.
Is he irredeemably arseholian? 😕

Stand firm - he’s a dick.

You need to have separate independent spending money, out of which you buy presents

He's not good at receiving criticism however constructive it is. He is bad with money and that's a fact.

He would sooner splurge in the moment and enjoy something / treat the kids and then deal with being skint later on.

I'm the opposite and that's why we have been getting by on the lesser amount of money we have, because I discourage frivolous spending and tell him no actually our DC don't need this big new toy, or whatever else.

He asked what I wanted for Christmas then suggested a new laptop. As lovely as one would be and as much as I do need an upgrade because mine barely runs, it's just not nessecary or important enough to warrant spending hundreds that we can ill afford.

His heart is in the right place with wanting to do nice things for the family but he needs to reign it in and learn to adapt to our new normal which for now means much less money.

Hopefully when he gets over being (in his mind) told off then he'll see where I'm coming from.

Perhaps the time is right for having a sit-down to talk about budgeting for Christmas - not just presents but food, decorations etc.

Your joint DC is clearly much younger than DSCs and may not have developed such a specific wishlist, so I think it's a bit unfair to compare.

Now that they have shiny new games, are there any old games that you might be able to sell to compensate?

Also, try to get their Christmas wishlists early enough to be able to hunt things down on eBay etc. and not be under pressure to make a last-minute purchase new from a shop. If you possibly can, find a way to buy things second-hand after Christmas - lots of bargains around then.

Indeed, great ideas filka thank you.

We have yet to buy another Christmas tree seeing as he thought the beginning of September was a good time to declutter the cupboard under the stairs and rehome the tree because it was in the way.

If it weren't for the kids i'd refuse entry to another one just to make a point.

I'm going to scour the charity shops.

Update, he's still in a mood

Wait till he realises that he’s getting beans on toast for dinner for the next month, whilst you make up the financial shortfall caused by his monetary fritterings!