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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Uni ... sad face

73 replies

MadameBee · 18/09/2020 19:39

DC3 is 18.

He left for uni today (couldn’t take him as have had to isolate for 2 weeks).

I just went into his bedroom - ooff that was like a knife to the heart.

You think people are twats when they bang on about how it “flies by” thing is it really fucking does 😭😭😭

OP posts:
krustykittens · 18/09/2020 20:53

My Eldest decided to live at home for uni and I am so relieved! At her leavers ceremony at primary school, she sang, "When I grow up" from Matilda and I still cry when I think about it. I sobbed on the day! I am dreading the pair of them leaving home but I will be glad to see them spread their wings at the same time. I hope things get better soon, OP.

TheFallenMadonna · 18/09/2020 20:56

DS left on Tuesday and I haven't looked in his room yet Blush.

bornninthe80s · 18/09/2020 20:57

My daughter just turned 2 this week and this thread is making me pray for long years!!!

Original poster
MadameBee · 18/09/2020 21:00

I had prepared myself after my eldest two went (they come back - a lot - and we have a group chat with DC3 which is active every day which is love) but Covid has put paid to a lot of those hobbies Sad

OP posts:
FunTimes2020 · 18/09/2020 21:04

@HeartZone

He left for uni today (couldn’t take him as have had to isolate for 2 weeks).

Errrm
He didn’t live with you I take it?

Covid police alert! Hmm

Your DS sounds lovely, you must be very proud, OP Smile

Wrenna · 18/09/2020 21:04

Yanbu! Our only son left for Uni a month ago, I keep going into his room to smell his pillow! But I’m happy at least he can go, so many kids here (USA) are at home online and paying big money to do so!

Original poster
MadameBee · 18/09/2020 21:12

He knows I like ice in my drinks and I looked in the freezer tonight and he’s filled up every ice tray he could find and put them in the freezer 😭😭❤️

OP posts:
LindaEllen · 18/09/2020 21:16

I hope you're okay! It can be hard, but he'll be home quite regularly - and you'll probably get at least another few years of him after he graduates too! My mum practically went into mourning when my brother and I left home, and I only moved out properly when I was 27, where my brother is still with her at 25 haha, so it might not actually be the final nest flying that you're imaging!! :)

krustykittens · 18/09/2020 21:31

That is so sweet, OP, I am tearing up myself here on your behalf! He sounds like a lovely lad, you must be so proud.

holdmysocks · 18/09/2020 21:33

The ice made me well up! What a lovely boy you have Flowers

fishonabicycle · 18/09/2020 21:36

Mine is off Sunday - argh. It's so hard - I'm happy for him but so sad for me.

pumpkinpie01 · 18/09/2020 21:36

It gets better op , I remember the feeling well. My dd18 has just gone into her 2nd year and I'm really missing her. Hopefully he will settle in and have a great time and have lots of funny tales to tell you next time you see him. Ice cubes trays - so thoughtful !

MissConductUS · 18/09/2020 21:37

I hear you. DS is off for his third year and DD was supposed to go this fall, but at the last minute her uni decided to go completely remote.

She's disappointed but we're thrilled to have kept her home.

Facetime or Zoom with your DS. That will help a lot.

Bluntness100 · 18/09/2020 21:43

It does get better, but it kind of doesn’t. You simply adjust. I feel complete when my daughter is home, there is something missing when she is not. She went to uni five years ago. She’s now working and all grown up at 23, but I’m still missing a limb.

I painted her room last weekend, in the colour she wished, not what I like, because it’s her room. And she sees it as such, we face time several times a week, say good morning and good night every day and text throughout the daylight every day.

I’m glad she’s making her way in the world.I’m so proud of her. But I won’t lie. I’m only complete when she’s with me. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy, I work, I have good friends, a social life, a happy marriage.

But part of me is only complete when she’s back home and with me.

Original poster
MadameBee · 18/09/2020 21:50

@Bluntness100 I feel the same way.

When all three are home and I am cooking for them or we are just spending time together I feel absolutely complete.

OP posts:
Silversun83 · 18/09/2020 21:50

My DC are four and two - my eldest has just started in reception. Obviously things are full on, tiring, no time to myself etc and sometimes I do wish the time away a little.. But reading this is making me (try to!) appreciate this time because I know I will look back wistfully. They will never be as young as they are today.

doodleygirl · 18/09/2020 21:53

@Bluntness100 I’m with you. My girl is 26 and I would have her home in a heartbeat. Lucky for me we are very close and she lives about 10 minutes away.

OP your boy sound gorgeous, it will get easier Flowers

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 18/09/2020 21:57

Ahh Bee your DS sounds lovely , very level headed and responsible . He's off on his big adventures now , you can take great pride in the fact he feels ready .

My DS is going to start his 3rd Year soon , busy year ahead of him I've said if he plans to do his Masters he should do it sooner rather than later while his brain is still primed .
He still lives with us , I think he likes the security and Hall fees are high .

DD is starting this month (also staying at home ) so no empty nest here .
She says to me "Is it strange having two adults University students instead of children" and yes it is .

DS is finishing his P/T job to concentrate , he has been doing long hours and Bless him, he looks knackered !

emilybrontescorsett · 18/09/2020 21:57

In hear you op. My youngest left for uni and it like a knife through my heart.
I'm starting to feel better as I know she is beginning to settle in.

AngelicInnocent · 18/09/2020 21:58

My youngest went about 2 weeks ago and I know exactly what you mean. She's overcome some horrendous medical problems, knows what she wants to do and is going for it. I'm so proud of her but I do miss her.

Original poster
MadameBee · 18/09/2020 22:00

He messaged me saying “I keep thinking I”ll need to go home soon” 😭😭

OP posts:
Snog · 19/09/2020 08:03

@MadameBee the ice cube story was the sweetest thing. Your DS sounds like such a great lad.

ChelseaDaggers · 19/09/2020 08:06

Omg, my heart reading this!! OP, the combination of pain and pride at him going is just making me tear up and God knows I'm no blubber! Well done you and him. Hope he has the best time ever and loves every minute, but oh, poor you!

Treat yourself to something lovely and a nice movie later FlowersGinCakeWine.

BeyondMyWits · 19/09/2020 08:13

The worst one for me was after the first year, dd went off to Y2 at uni from the train station and said "I'll ring you when I get home"... home...

Original poster
MadameBee · 19/09/2020 09:16

@BeyondMyWits
😭

OP posts: