School dinners

[FrenchtoEnglish]

I suppose this is a bit of a moan really.

DD just started school. We're in France. We're vegetarian. The school has said I can either bring her home for lunch (2 hours) or I can provide a meal which they will heat up.

The problem is, they want the meals I bring in to match what the others are having. So today, I took in Greek salad for starter, then vegetable tajine with lentil meatballs and a chocolate mousse. They were having Greek salad, chicken tajine and chocolate mousse. It was a great big faff.

I work from home, so although I love having her with me, it kind of messes up my day and I'm behind on my work and having to do it in the evening when she's in bed. I'm a single mum and so we need my income. I'm exhausted. I've been bringing her home every day so far, today was the first time she tried out the cantine. I just don't know if I can be doing with that every day.

This just seems like a big faff. When I was at school in UK (30 years ago) veggie meals were provided.

This just seems like a big pain in the arse and I'm a bit cross about it.

She's only three. There are 6 children in her class. Eighty in the whole school. I worry that she won't be "in" with them or find friends if I bring her home for lunch. She'll be like the little English weirdo whose mum picks her up in the middle of the day.

WWYD?

@mrsm43s Yes, I have those three choices. I'm aware. I can manage. The whole post was just a bit of a moan that over 30 years ago, when I was in school in UK, there was a veggie option. I feel like France is behind the times. Most restaurants in UK offer veggie, vegan, gluten free, nut free... I never see that sort of thing here. You were the one who wanted to debate bringing up children vegetarian. Not me.

I'd prefer it if my child wasn't offered, for example, bible reading, Nestle products or cage eggs out of the home either. But I wouldn't insist on my beliefs being respected if they were not also my child's beliefs and it would mean he was singled out. Five kids in the class doing colouring in instead of bible reading and I would be ticking the opt out box, just him, no. I guess we differ there.

@mrsm43s so you child has always made an informed decision to eat meat? They've always understood where the chicken came from and how it was produced before choosing to eat it?
Or did you make the decision that your child should eat it? Just like OP has decided that her child shouldn't eat meat.

@whirlwindwallaby She's three. She doesn't know what she believes yet. If she wants to be a big Mormon kebab munching, chicken-stabbing, street-fighting, tax-dodging husband/wife basher when she's older, there's not much I can do. All I can do is pave the way for what I think is a good moral code.

@Beegeees DS had chicken tagine and couscous for lunch at nursery this week, followed by fruit , morning snack was hummus, pitta and apple, afternoon snack was rice cake with whole nut butter, dinner was a cheese and tomato omelette with cucumber and pepper sticks, he's two and we're in the UK

Hopefully you can help the school be more accommodating for future kids

I feel like France is behind the times.

France, or any other foreign country, doesn't have to accommodate YOU. If you don't like it, you are free to go back to your own country.

Complaining on a foreign website is utterly pointless.

@SantaClaritaDiet... Well, actuallly, they do. I've paid into the system for 18 years. I pay my local taxes at the same rate as every other parent. My say counts as much as theirs. The answer isn't to go back to my own country every time I don't like something. Your argument is "foreigner, go home"? There are French vegetarians as well, you know? I'm not asking for spotted dick and custard and for God Save the Queen to be played before the kids sit down to eat.

I would let her try the meat option, so that she is not excluded. I say that as a vegan, who has been vegetarian since I was 6 (early 80s when I had to hide the spam fritters etc at my school dinners).
Both the other options are a bit rubbish.

@SantaClaritaDiet
Is that a POV you apply to Poles or Spaniards or indeed French people living and working in the UK who have the audacity to comment on things they notice about life in Britain that could be improved?

Well, actuallly, they do.

ahem, no they REALLY don't. You chose to move to a country, they don't owe you anything. It's not about "foreigners go home" , it's about foreigner respecting their host country.

My say counts as much as theirs.
of course it does not. Why would your 3 year old be an "English" weirdo when you have been in that country for 18 years... says it all really.

You are ranting on an English-speaking forum, how many French national do you expect to find who will know what the rules are? What's wrong with asking actual French people? Who cares if British/American/Australian... veggie meals are provided?

[quote GoldfishParade]@SantaClaritaDiet
Is that a POV you apply to Poles or Spaniards or indeed French people living and working in the UK who have the audacity to comment on things they notice about life in Britain that could be improved?[/quote]
Clearly Brexiter (which I am not as it happens) as made it clear what the UK think of Europeans...

Just because people comment doesn't mean the host country must accommodate them. There are plenty of foreign values, traditions and customs that we do not accept. The OP can say whatever she wants, it's not up to her host country to change the way they do things. Why on earth should they?

Would it be that bad if she ate meat at school though? Then you could have a chat about how some people enjoy eating meat and some don’t and eventually she’ll be able to make a choice herself.

@SantaClaritaDiet I think there were four French nationals or people living in France who commented on this thread. One of them, very kindly, told me EXACTLY what the rules are.

Being vegetarian isn't a foreign thing.

My daughter and I are perfectly bilingual. In fact, she's trilingual. She speaks the regional langage as well as French. She has an English surname though. And... I always speak to her in English. That's how the other kids would know.

I translate French books into English for ten hours a day. So... I use social media / Internet in English on my own time.

There is a local vegan group. About 40 membres. Only one set of parents. Their DD is homeschooled. They're all French. I don't know where they got the idea to be vegan. They must have read it in some foreign book.

I respect my host country. I've made my life here. My opinion counts here.

The thing is, if you are an adult living in France, you must already know how little vegetarianism is understood/respected over there? Is it that much of a surprise the same attitude exists within schools?

I'm not saying you're wrong, and I'm being supremely unhelpful because I'm not offering up a solution either, just pointing out that your DD is going to have this struggle for the rest of her schooling, assuming of course she decides she wishes to remain vegetarian when she's old enough to make that decision herself.

The French have never been particularly understanding of special diets. I think on some subconscious level they regard dietary choice like vegetarianism and veganism as an attack on their principle of laïcité. I've never found them to have much awareness or understanding of allergies either.

@rainkeepsfallingdown You're right. It is a struggle. But then that's how change happens, isn't it? There are more and more veggies things appearing in supermarkets - soja yogurts, vegan cheeses, tofu... It's happening. The demand must be there. I'm not just one British woman attacking the French. Plenty of French people are on board. Veganism is getting more and more popular because of the ecological angle. The French want to change things, too. There's a huge anti-hunting movement. They're very health-conscious too (lots of homeopathy, gluten-free, hypnptherapy and all that jazz). Things are changing. Just... not fast enough for me and my daughter.

Now I want to know in which part of France you can be that your foreign child needs to speak the local dialect or patois fluently?

@SantaClaritaDiet
I think the OP is in Brittany - and her child learning Breton at school.
In some areas of the southwest children learn Occitan or Basque.

There was a constitutional revision in 2008 that recognized regional languages as an integral part of French culture and regional bilingual schools are becoming more commun again.

They are highly in demand and often over subscribed.

Link for French speakers
www.lemonde.fr/societe/article/2019/08/27/les-ecoles-en-langue-regionale-craquent-sous-la-demande_5503150_3224.html

I forgot Catalan ! I’m less aware of what happens in Alsace/Lorraine as they still have specific legislation esp concerning education, educational funding and laïcité in schools, but they surely learn alsacien at school and I’m sure that in French overseas territories regional languages are also taught.

interesting, thank you pluiedeprintemps

@BarbaraofSeville

That's kind of hard baz when typical meals are chicken tagine. It's part of the dish, and it goes in at the start, so it can't be picked out. They'd have to do a completely separate vegetarian version.

Perhaps the school should be batch cooking and freezing, so they can feed the DD and any other vegetarians, alongside the meat eaters?

Bear in mind that lots of people don't realise what vegetarians eat. You might have to spell it out, Eggs, cheese, dairy, nuts, grains, legumes, fruits, oils, all fine. AND vegetables

You're not serious? Do you feel people need to be told where bears go to the toilet too?

To be fair as a vegetarian I’ve had people try to feed me things with meat stock, tuna, chicken and pork crackling.

My son has a dairy allergy, for some reason a number of people (including qualified chefs) have refused to give him egg, now I don’t know about you but I’m yet to experience an egg popping out of an udder.