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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU facebook post

34 replies

Bubblesobubbles · 18/09/2020 10:10

An AIBU totally happy to be told I am taking this to heart but a family member has put a post up wishing r 2 year old a happy birthday. Okay fine, but the post starts 'wishing our very loud but gorgeous xxxxx a happy birthday' .... bigger things to worry about but feel this is quite harsh! No louder than a normal two year old, but feel it's a quite a passive aggressive post! Friday morning grumble!

OP posts:
willitbetonight · 18/09/2020 10:11

Chill out. They haven't meant anything by it. And 2 year olds are meant to be loud!

PurpleDaisies · 18/09/2020 10:12

Really? I mean really?

Biscuit
Boom45 · 18/09/2020 10:13

2 year olds are loud, I dont think it's an insult is it?

CuriousaboutSamphire · 18/09/2020 10:13

YANBU. It's that backhanded compliment thing. Horrid to do to a 2 year old, that label may well stick!

YABU... have a lovely birthday day, ignore them Smile

ShellsandSand · 18/09/2020 10:14

Sometimes we can have rose tinted glasses on when it comes to our own DC. Your child may well be loud to the family member in question. I know my DD2 isn't particularly loud for me and I think nothing of her volume but for my DD1 with sensory issues she is always complaining that DD2 is so loud and that her voice travels. I wouldn't be offended at this OP. Sounds like a term of endearment more than a stealthy dig.

Bubbletrouble43 · 18/09/2020 10:14

If they are talking about someone else's kid not their own I think it's a bit rude. But if it's their own kid it's OK.

Everythingmagnolia · 18/09/2020 10:16

I wouldn't have given this a second thought

emptyshelvesagain · 18/09/2020 10:17

but a family member has put a post up wishing r 2 year old a happy birthday.

I don't understand who's 2 year old they are talking about? Their own? They can say what they want surely?

FelicityPike · 18/09/2020 10:18

Seriously? Get a grip! Biscuit

Original poster
Bubblesobubbles · 18/09/2020 10:19

Sorry some words missing in my OP, the post was about our child and the person in question is a relative who has seen our child on approx. 4 occasions. Just felt a bit they were being labelled I guess.

OP posts:
FrenchtoEnglish · 18/09/2020 10:19

Jesus! I think it's called humour.

GladAllOver · 18/09/2020 10:19

Messages like that are all about the poster, not the one they are sent to.
A two year old won't know it was sent.

20viona · 18/09/2020 10:19

Get a grip.

Galaxycat · 18/09/2020 10:20

You need to chill out or your 2 year old will grow up without any banter also!!

FrenchtoEnglish · 18/09/2020 10:20

I wish I had your problems. FFS.

TheGirlWithAPrince · 18/09/2020 10:26

2 year olds tend to be loud so YABU.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 18/09/2020 10:30

@Galaxycat

You need to chill out or your 2 year old will grow up without any banter also!!
You can sincerely hope everyone can gow up without any banter It's fucking tiresome!
MyCassiopiea · 18/09/2020 10:31

I think it depends on who wrote it. My mum and my mother in law could say exactly the same thing and I'd find it offensive from one and not the other - it all depends on your relationship!

Don't let it ruin your day though. They either meant it nicely in which case you're worrying over nothing or they meant it passive aggressively and they're getting what they want by you dwelling on it.

PurpleDaisies · 18/09/2020 10:31

Just felt a bit they were being labelled I guess.

There are things to get bothered about and this is really not one.

notacooldad · 18/09/2020 10:36

I would think that they were trying to add something to the generic ' happy birthday ' message as every message appears the same.
Most 2 year olds are flippin loud!
I would have smiled at that message and replied thanks, you know the little guy so well!!😀'
The last thing I would have thought was that he is being 'labelled'

TheYeaSayer · 18/09/2020 10:37

YANBU

I seem to be in the minority here, but I’d be annoyed to receive that, too; especially from someone who’d only met my DC four times.

The “but” in the FB post (loud but gorgeous) suggests that loud is at odds with gorgeous, so a negative thing.

2 year olds are meant to be loud I have 5 DC and never knew that.

JorisBonson · 18/09/2020 10:38

Blimey. There's bigger things to worry about.

Crimblecrumble1990 · 18/09/2020 10:40

I think i would find it a bit weird too. Especially in the context that they have only seen them a handful of times.

But I also find it weird when people write Facebook messages to people who aren't on Facebook so won't see it.

Chickychoccyegg · 18/09/2020 10:41

can't believe you even gave this a 2nd thought, the normal reaction to that post is, thanks, maybe some 😂😂😂, its just adding something to the generic happy birthday, and 2 year olds are generally pretty noisy little humans, not labelling, not being passive aggressive, just writing a birthday wish!

justanotherneighinparadise · 18/09/2020 10:45

Yes suspect there’s more to this OP, as on the face of it it’s certainly seems like a cheeky, fun comment. But as a PP said, it really depends on
who’s saying it.

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