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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To email DD's form tutor and say he needs to try to fix his mistake?

66 replies

TravellingSpoon · 17/09/2020 11:15

Before I start, I know that yeaching is very stressful right now.

Dd is in Yr 7. Over the holidays she was given various extra activities to do which would earn merit points. She needed to do lots of different activities which each took a while ( she read 10 books for the book bingo, designed a poster for eco school and wrote a poem and a small essay about a topic of her choosing). In the booklet it said that each task completed would be worth merit points.

When DD went back to school she asked her form tutor what she needed to do with it. He said he didn't know as he is a new teacher and new to the school, but that he would find out. She asked him again and he said he had forgotten but would find out. He has emailed this morning after I chased him about it to say that the cut off date was Friday and Dd has missed it. He has apologised but I want him to speak to the person organising it and explain, rather than kind of shrug it off.

I know it seems small, but DD worked really hard over it. She is anxious in general but it has been compounded as she has gone to a new school without her friends from primary.

Aibu to ask him to fix this, as he is the only person who knows DD did this work in the holidays.

OP posts:

SarahAndQuack · 17/09/2020 11:18

I think he ought to do something about it, yes. How hard would it be to email the head and say 'my mistake, I let my student miss the deadline, she deserves the credit'.

crochetmonkey74 · 17/09/2020 11:20

I would definitely email and maybe her head of year/ house as this will likely be a more experienced teacher who can sort it out straight away

Definitely not unreasonable for her to get her merit points she worked so hard for!

Secretlifeofme · 17/09/2020 11:20

I'm a teacher and this is very poor form on his part. He should definitely fix it for her.

CalmdownJanet · 17/09/2020 11:23

100% I wouldn't accept this, totally unfair

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 17/09/2020 11:24

He has emailed this morning after I chased him about it to say that the cut off date was Friday and Dd has missed it.

Your dd didn’t miss the deadline. He missed the deadline. So he needs to fix it.

theemmadilemma · 17/09/2020 11:25

His error, he needs to fix it.

CorianderLord · 17/09/2020 11:26

Of course he needs to fix it

ALLIS0N · 17/09/2020 11:28

Just forward the whole email chain to the teacher Organising it and explain what happened.

SissySpacekAteMyHamster · 17/09/2020 11:28

Email head of year explaining just this.

sorryforswearing · 17/09/2020 11:29

He should fix it and however new he is he shouldn’t need telling that he needs to fix it.

OverTheRainbow88 · 17/09/2020 11:30

Surely, he could just calculate how many merits your DD deserves and log them onto the system himself, and yes am apology to your DD.

unmarkedbythat · 17/09/2020 11:32

Of course he should fix it. Your dd didn't miss the deadline, he did. I would forward the emails to the HoY with a friendly and polite "seems to have been a mix up, please can you help sort this?" message.

OverTheRainbow88 · 17/09/2020 11:35

I wouldn’t go straight to HOY, secondaries are very different in primaries in that regard.

Just ask the tutor to give the merits your DD as worked hard to get.

BashfulClam · 17/09/2020 11:35

Reply copying in a senior teacher an tell him the work was done and he was asked twice by your dd how to submit this and he was unable to help. He only responded to a query from you to say the deadline has passed. Unacceptable!

KitKatastrophe · 17/09/2020 11:35

@crochetmonkey74

I would definitely email and maybe her head of year/ house as this will likely be a more experienced teacher who can sort it out straight away

Definitely not unreasonable for her to get her merit points she worked so hard for!

Agree with this. If he is a "new teacher" he could be an NQT or RQT, learning the job, the policies of a new school and on top of that all the covid stuff as well. It is hugely overwhelming and really easy to forget about small things like this. Get a more experienced teacher involved so he can be supported.

Lougle · 17/09/2020 11:40

There is a chain of communication in Secondaries. If you haven't been involved yet, then your first step is to email the form tutor, relaying the story you've been told from your DD's perception. No accusations, just enquiring about the situation and clarifying whether your DD's understanding is correct. Then ask for it to be fixed.

If the form tutor replies saying that the deadline had been missed, then you can escalate to the Deputy Head of Year, or the Head of Year, explaining the situation and asking if they can intervene with the staff member who is responsible for the project work.

Curioushorse · 17/09/2020 11:43

Ha. That sounds like a proper, brand new teacher. Bless him. Week 2, and during a pandemic. Yeah, can you get HOY’s email? It sounds like new form tutor doesn’t know his way round the system yet!

Lindy2 · 17/09/2020 11:47

I'd intervene for her and email the head of year or teacher organising this to explain the position.

Your DD tried to deal with it by asking her form tutor what to do but he didn't deal with it. I do have some sympathy for him though, being a new teacher and all the challenges going on in schools, there must be an awful lot to sort out right now for teachers.

I'd expect DD's work to be accepted and her awarded merits regardless of the cut off date. This is not exam work, it's a school project. It's therefore a very easy fix for the school and would reward your DD for all the effort she put in over a very difficult time.

TokyoSushi · 17/09/2020 11:48

Yes he should fix it, surely it's a school set deadline so could be flexed if there was an error. Maybe he doesn't know what to do. It sounds like your daughter has worked really hard, she should get the points. Email the HOY.

MsEllany · 17/09/2020 11:50

YANBU.

IsItTimeForCoffeeYet · 17/09/2020 11:53

Definitely email the teacher, copying in the head of year / head, as appropriate. Explain it just how you have done here. Your daughter tried to submit the work and the teacher failed her. No way should she miss out on her reward, otherwise what lesson does that teach her?

canigohomenow · 17/09/2020 11:54

Email along the lines of:

Thanks for getting to the bottom of this. Can I leave the matter with you to resolve or shall I contact the teacher directly? As I'm sure you are aware that DD approached you early last week with the matter so it would be unfortunate for the breakdown in communication regarding the submission date for her to miss out on the merit points after she worked so hard to accumulate them. Thanks, Travelling Spoon.

Keep it polite and professional, it's unacceptable on his part. She's had a hell of a last year of primary school and it is really not on for her to start the new year on a bad foot. Hope you get it sorted OP.

goldensummerhouse · 17/09/2020 11:55

She took the work in on the first day of term, she didn't miss the deadline. Go over his head.

Afibtomyboy · 17/09/2020 11:57

She’s at a new school?

So the booklet was set by previous school?

napody · 17/09/2020 12:04

Exactly what canigohomenow said, to give him a clear chance to resolve, and set the tone for the rest of the year.

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