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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To email DD's form tutor and say he needs to try to fix his mistake?

66 replies

TravellingSpoon · 17/09/2020 11:15

Before I start, I know that yeaching is very stressful right now.

Dd is in Yr 7. Over the holidays she was given various extra activities to do which would earn merit points. She needed to do lots of different activities which each took a while ( she read 10 books for the book bingo, designed a poster for eco school and wrote a poem and a small essay about a topic of her choosing). In the booklet it said that each task completed would be worth merit points.

When DD went back to school she asked her form tutor what she needed to do with it. He said he didn't know as he is a new teacher and new to the school, but that he would find out. She asked him again and he said he had forgotten but would find out. He has emailed this morning after I chased him about it to say that the cut off date was Friday and Dd has missed it. He has apologised but I want him to speak to the person organising it and explain, rather than kind of shrug it off.

I know it seems small, but DD worked really hard over it. She is anxious in general but it has been compounded as she has gone to a new school without her friends from primary.

Aibu to ask him to fix this, as he is the only person who knows DD did this work in the holidays.

OP posts:

HunkyPunk · 17/09/2020 12:09

She’s at a new school?

So the booklet was set by previous school?

I imagine the new school was in contact with its soon-to-be-Yr 7s, with prep work/tasks during the summer?

HoppingPavlova · 17/09/2020 12:17

This is his problem to fix. It’s part of his job!

OfTheNight · 17/09/2020 12:17

He needs to fix this, it’s his fault she missed the deadline. I get that if he’s new to the school, he might have been a bit flustered and there’s all the Covid stuff, but he could either put the merits on the system himself or email the relevant person and explain it’s his mistake. I assume this booklet was mentioned to him and that your dd isn’t the only one to have done the work. I bet he’s forgot to sort it and now he’s trying to avoid a telling off. Not that he would be told off, but when you’re new in a job you do worry about that kind of stuff.

OhCrumbsWhereNow · 17/09/2020 12:17

They definitely need to fix this. That is a lot of effort on your daughter's part to miss out just because the teacher didn't pass on relevant information.

We have a similar issue - DD only child from her primary at new secondary, has significant SEN so struggles with academics. New school has a huge intake, and DD was keen to start on the right note - plus hoped that the holiday work might help the teachers see where she has issues.

At the induction day, the new secondary gave them an 80 page maths booklet and a 10 page English booklet to complete over the summer holidays.

DD completes all the maths and english, and took them in the first week only to find out that a) only a handful of others had completed it and b) the teachers had no interest in collecting them in and seemed surprised that anyone had bothered.

DD is now saying she doesn't see why she wasted all her time and she's not bothering doing that again.

Fine, don't tell those who didn't do the work off, but equally if a child has bothered, at least make them feel that their efforts have been noted.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 17/09/2020 12:24

That's awful Crumbs

The least the teachers could do is thank the children for all of the hard work they have put in, and hold them up as a good example to the others.

Children like your DD deserve some credit for doing as they were instruction - no wonder children are unmotivated.

SE13Mummy · 17/09/2020 12:27

Who set the work? Was there a name on the email/webpage/letter used to set the transition work? If so, I'd email them. Otherwise, contact whoever is leading on transition, is the head of Y7 or KS3.

DD2 is in a similar situation in that she completed the various transition tasks, encouraged by the promise of 'merits' (she's only read about these in books!). She and the group of friends she's made had been carrying the various booklets around in their bags and every day returned home saying either that no-one had asked for the work or the person they'd tried to give it to didn't know where it needed to go. At the end of last week I emailed the deputy head whose name was on all the transition info, thanked the school for their efforts in getting Y7 settled in spite of it being a very weird year and asked where the completed transition work should be taken/who DD should give it to. I mentioned that she'd been bringing it to school each day just in case and that she'd asked about handing it in but still seemed unsure. Mysteriously, on Monday, every Y7 had their transition work collected in. DD and friends were very happy.

I don't imagine many schools would deliberately upset a Y7 who'd done the work but hadn't been given sufficient information to hand it in by an undisclosed deadline. There are probably others in her form who have done it too but haven't asked because they're expecting to be told what to do with it. I don't think it's unreasonable to contact whoever set the work with a simple, 'DD is in 7X and is worried that she's not had the opportunity to hand in the transition work she completed over the summer and has brought to school with her every day. She says she asked her form tutor about it a couple of times at the start of term but is under the impression that the deadline for receiving merits has been missed. Please would you let me know who she needs to give her work to and offer some reassurance that 7X will still receive the merits'.

NoSquirrels · 17/09/2020 12:28

Yes, as others say. Polite email back -

Thanks for letting me know - DD did bring her work in before the deadline and attempted to find out what to do with it, so I hope it can be resolved and DD's merit points awarded. Can I leave it with you, or should I ask someone else on DD's behalf?

ButteryPuffin · 17/09/2020 12:56

What everyone else says. It's not on for him to just shrug and say the deadline has passed.

Queenest · 17/09/2020 12:58

The teacher sounds very disorganised - it’s a piss poor show frankly. He needs to fix the problem as he created it.

ekidmxcl · 17/09/2020 13:02

What a crap tutor. New or not, that's pathetic and it's the sort of admin anyone with any common sense could handle. How hard is it to make a note of what you need to do and send a quick email to either their own head of department or another staff member to find out. If a teenager didn't write their homework down and forgot to do it, they'd end up in detention.

However, I'm afraid it's indicative of the sort of professional standards kept by the entire country these days.

I'd email the head teacher and ask for the work to be passed on to the correct staff.

What a shitty way to treat a keen little Y7.

OverTheRainbow88 · 17/09/2020 13:08

@ekidmxcl

I'd email the head teacher and ask for the work to be passed on to the correct staff.

That’s just not how secondary schools work. The head teacher would probably just about be informed if a child brought a knife into school.

I spend a week waiting for the head to reply to
Me and I’m deputy safeguarding officer.

Reply to the tutor (don’t go above their head just yet) politely tell them to sort out the mess they have created and get the merits awarded. Done.

AnEleanor · 17/09/2020 13:08

This is why I’m glad my school doesn’t give out form tutor email addresses. He’s just forgotten and this could have been sorted out without a parent emailing.

crochetmonkey74 · 17/09/2020 13:11

honestly, this will just be a day to day thing - we sort out lots of stuff like this all the time- head of year will do it

Topseyt · 17/09/2020 13:11

Yes, I would send him a polite but firmly worded email back pointing out that your DD had done the work and had addressed him about it in good time and well before the deadline but did not get a response. Lay out the timeline as you understand it - when she did the work, the big effort that she put in, the days and times of her queries to him and his responses.

Say that you understand he is new to the school and that times are extra challenging at the moment, but that as it was clearly not your DD’s fault that the deadline was missed you now expect him and the school to sort it out, accept her work and allocate her any merit points due.

Make sure you send the email to both him and the Head of Year. It really shouldn’t take them long to hold up hands, admit the error and accept the work.

yellowgusset · 17/09/2020 13:15

AnEleanor Sounds like he had no intention of sorting it out, actually.

Feedingthebirds1 · 17/09/2020 13:25

This is why I’m glad my school doesn’t give out form tutor email addresses. He’s just forgotten and this could have been sorted out without a parent emailing.

Bugger that! And I'm a teacher. The OP's DD put in a lot of effort and it's not acceptable to respond with the equivalent of 'oh well...'. Whatever his reasons for not finding out, he should now be putting it right. And it sounds like if the OP hadn't emailed nothing would have happened.

stovetopespresso · 17/09/2020 13:37

agree with chasing it, dd will appreciate your efforts. I'd email the head.

Felifox · 17/09/2020 13:39

A good way to disappoint and discourage a pupil. I would email the HOY.

MeridianB · 17/09/2020 13:48

That is a lot of extra work. His attitude is so poor. I hope someone more senior can fix it for you.

Adirondack · 17/09/2020 14:03

I’d be raging and I would be escalating this to the senior leadership team.
Y7 is when expectations for behaviour are set out on both sides: teachers show what they expect of children, and children learn what they can expect from their teachers. This idiot has just totally let your dd down and shown her that her hard work doesn’t matter to him. I don’t care if he’s a new teacher or not- that’s appalling behaviour. Poor dd.

Genevieva · 17/09/2020 14:06

Presumably the cut off date is internal to the school and was for completing the tasks. The person in charge should have informed the new teacher about all of this and, when you mentioned it to the new teacher, he should have made it more of a priority to find out what was going on. It is a school failure. The school set the challenge. She completed the challenge. If they don't take that seriously, then they undermine themselves on the value of any other task they set or disciplinary procedure they have. So, fo rate child who has dedicated hours to completing the School's challenge this is not a small thing - it has been a constant companion over their summer holiday and the school need to follow through.

lifesalongsong · 17/09/2020 14:08

@Adirondack

I’d be raging and I would be escalating this to the senior leadership team. Y7 is when expectations for behaviour are set out on both sides: teachers show what they expect of children, and children learn what they can expect from their teachers. This idiot has just totally let your dd down and shown her that her hard work doesn’t matter to him. I don’t care if he’s a new teacher or not- that’s appalling behaviour. Poor dd.

You'd be raging, really? About something that can easily be sorted out by an email to someone higher up, what a ridiculous over-reaction at a time when schools are under the most stress they've ever been.

Someone has made a realtively minor mistake in a new job, hardly cause for anything other than a calm approach to sorting it out

AndwhenyougetthereFoffsomemore · 17/09/2020 14:11

Yup, firm email back to him, possibly cc-ing head of year making clear that dd did work on time; offered to hand in on time and being able to earn these credits to reward her hard work will really help create a positive framework for her year or other such flannel. New teacher is probably trying to deal with 101 issues, and I understand why they might have forgotten, but ensuring that new Y7s feel the hard work they put in is valued and rewarded is really important and can really set them up (as the parent of two heading towards the top of secondary school!)

pastandpresent · 17/09/2020 14:12

Definitely. It's so demoralizing for children if that kind of thing happened and if the teacher didn't do anything to rectify it.

lakesidefall · 17/09/2020 14:22

I would politely but firmly be highlighting that dd put considerable effort into the work and brought it will well before the deadline therefore her points need to accurately recorded.

I would address the email to him but probably cc HoY.

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