To eat ham even though I'm on a medically prescribed diet?

[ValidUser]

So the woman was making a ham salad. I'm supposed to be on a strict diet of Royal Canin Satiety. It's delicious. Plus, it does leave me very shiny and keep my eyes glowing in the dark. I usually wouldn't eat anything else. Except for chicken. Or Sheba. Or maybe some steak.

Things have been stressful lately. She's growing a small bald kitten. I was doing her a favour. She's getting thick around the middle. And I think the salt is going to her head. I saw her talking to her belly the other day.

So I heroically stepped in. I lunged at the counter and took two thick slices away in my glorious mouth. The woman seems unappreciative. WIBU?

YANBU 100%!!!

OP have you tried sitting up and flailing first one paw then both? This works the majority of the time on my people. I sit on a stool to do it, they have no power of resistance to my cuteness.

They keep making sandwiches with Ham and Other Nice Food, then just give me actual cat food! It's outrageous!

I like to sit and stare piercingly at them when they make sandwiches. It freaks them out as they never notice me arrive. I am just Suddenly There, staring at them. Then I beg most prettily. The SUCKERS

Pee on her bed. She deserves it.

YANBU. As a spaniel, I'm very skilled at finding dead things in the bushes but my owner (especially the female one) completely overreacts when I try to eat my prize.

Managed to hold on to a lovely dead mouse once but while I was chewing away and enjoying it she kept saying "Oh my god, that is absolutely disgusting" which really put me off my treat.

From these posts, I can only conclude that I am not catting vigorously enough. Taking notes.

YANBU I'm only supposed to eat my special chunky dog food but yesterday I decided to be really helpful and clean the chopping board for my woman. How was I supposed to know she was saving the rest of the chicken for lunch. You just can't please them

@pigsDOfly

I'm on a special diet too, a dog one in my case, because of my sensitive tummy. It keeps my tummy healthy and, admittedly I do like the taste.

Occasionally I get a tiny bit of chicken and sometimes I'm given certain fruits. Other than that nothing.

Yesterday, in the park, I found a beautiful, round greasy sausage. I clamped my teeth on it, started to bite and the human went mad, just kept yelling 'drop it, drop it' in a mad panicky voice. Unfortunately, she managed to get most of it out of my mouth.

I'll never forgive her.

Then she went on and on about how she was going to spend the evening worrying I'd get ill.

Just to freak her out I asked to go out to the garden a couple of times just to chew some grass.

Stupid po faced nit. I was fine.

Great work with the ham.

This made me really laugh

I was feeling pissed off with the world and worried about all the bad stuff

Thank you

It depends if you plan of vomiting it up later? If you do make sure you are on the long haired expensive rug and not the laminate

YADNBU. But bear this in mind, once the small bald kitten has been here a few months, there will be many opportunities for ham dropped from above. It's almost as if it rains ham here on some days.

(DD is 21 months and we now have to give her extra ham if she's having a sandwich because she calls the cats - even using the clicky noise we use when feeding them - and drops it from her high chair)

I've never eaten cat food and I have no intentions of doing so.my staff have cupboards filled with every type of cat food on the market suggested by the vet (vexing enemy tedious) which the others happily eat but I am destined for better things.it's a battle of wills.HE says I'll eat cat food when I'm hungry.
SHE says poor thing she'll starve.
I say just give me the chicken and leave me alone.
I'm not entirely bad,I do eat a very select type of cat biscuit so I am thoroughly nourished,but there is no possibility of me ever eating that foul smelling mush that has to be sealed in a sachet and a box due to the stink.rescue or no(the staff,obviously not me!) I am just wonderful.

Everyone knows if it's not from your own plate it doesnt count

I destroyed a pigeon today to demonstrate my strength and virility but my human does not appear to appreciate my efforts and has been complaining about the feathers and "viciousness" of my attack. I also nobly left a piece of the wing behind for my dog friend to chew on and you guessed it... more moaning from the human. Honestly, it's like they have no understanding of how hard we work for them.

I'm going to nap for the rest of the day. I deserve a break.

My humans seem to think that just because I couldn't wrestle a pig, cow or sheep to the ground that I wouldn't like to eat one. I would like to see them try. Admittedly I do refuse any of 'my' food which isn't poultry but that is just to keep them on their toes.

thatsforsure I'm really pleased I was able to give you a bit of a laugh.

Hope you feel better soon.

My humans seem to think the arrowverse shows aren’t scary they’re terrifying! Saying that, I’ll happily sit through this horror series that they’re watching.

Also, I don’t know how they can expect me to not be scared all the time! It’s scary...this word. Scary. I’m scared

Soon, when she gets even more round, there will be no room on her lap for you

You're new to this small, bald kitten business. As her girth increases, there's a handy little rounded shelf at the top that OP can perch upon and dig her perfect little paws into the ribby bits. It's the perfect preparation for when her kitten jabs its paws into the same area from within. A further advantage is that, by adopting this position, which broadens out rather alarmingly as time goes on, your Auditory Submission Tone (I believe humans call this 'purring') primes the small, bald kitten to instantly STFU and go to sleep once it is out and making the daftest attempts at mews you've ever heard. And you still get time with the human that way, as you've been 'so loving from before the birth'.

Word of advice, though - those conveniently sized, padded cat beds that will appear in the near future are not yours, sadly. They are for the bald kitten and, no matter how adorable you are, you must treat them on a par with the back garden when the wind blows after you've spent twenty minutes insisting that they open it for you to check whether the air temperature is any better than it was 21 minutes ago. Or like the basket of doom that carries you to the Bad Place with people that stick things in you and up you for no real reason other than their being perverts.

Basically, keep your nose clean and your litter in your tray for as much time again as it takes for this bald kitten to appear (and a bit more if they don't believe in this 'baby led weaning' stuff) and by then, you should have an understanding with the kitten whereby every other bit of yoghurt and ham is for you. As it should always be.

@MitziK I like the way you think.

@KarmaStar you're an impeccably groomed feline. All your own work, or do your humans contribute?

Have you solved the greatest mystery of all time, how to open the food tins? My servants owners leave them out on the kitchen counter overnight but I cannot get the blood things open!

We went back to the sausage park today.

Sad to say the sausage had gone

My humans were very annoyed the other day - I was feeling sick in the garden, so I went into the house, which is much comfier! I felt worse and sicked up breakfast in 5 places across the lounge. The woman tried to pick me up (I suspect to throw me back out into the garden), so I ran into their eating room and did a pooh on the way!

Teach them to try to change back to food I went off ages ago!! They are talking about getting out the terrifying noise machine, that rains water on the carpet at the weekend now!

Anyway, they won’t forget that lesson in a hurry! Try it!!

Ooh, DarkMintChocolate you're hardcore.

I know they don't really understand we're only trying to help. There is a big box in the corner of our living room with people inside it talking. Sometimes there is even dogs in it!So I have to warn my people theres dogs and cats and sometimes even pigeons in the house but they just shout at me for barking. I've even recognised the music which tells me these animals are coming so I start barking when I hear it to warn them, but they just shout stop it it's only Coronation Street, or Emmerdale or the flash advert.
And sometimes there's people playing football in it and I try so hard to catch the ball and I can't, I don't understand why because I would be so much faster at getting the ball than those men.

pigsDOfly

The thing with humans is they need a short, sharp shock to get through to them! Look at their attention span! They can’t even spend long enough, keeping still to catch a bird or mouse, can they?

As for tins, even DBro can’t get his teeth into them, and he is ace at pouches! His record is 13 - even that nasty woman in green (she is obsessed with fatness) at the evil place, was impressed! She said her cat’s record was 8!

@pigsDOfly

I'm on a special diet too, a dog one in my case, because of my sensitive tummy. It keeps my tummy healthy and, admittedly I do like the taste.

Occasionally I get a tiny bit of chicken and sometimes I'm given certain fruits. Other than that nothing.

Yesterday, in the park, I found a beautiful, round greasy sausage. I clamped my teeth on it, started to bite and the human went mad, just kept yelling 'drop it, drop it' in a mad panicky voice. Unfortunately, she managed to get most of it out of my mouth.

I'll never forgive her.

Then she went on and on about how she was going to spend the evening worrying I'd get ill.

Just to freak her out I asked to go out to the garden a couple of times just to chew some grass.

Stupid po faced nit. I was fine.

Great work with the ham.

I wonder if it was the same half eaten sausage I "gifted" my mum yesterday. It went straight in the bin. I don't think she liked it because it was a herby one and it turns out she doesn't like herby ones. Ungrateful cow.

While I'm here, what exactly is humans problem with fox poo?

It's the most amazing stuff, smells brilliant and the odour lasts for ages. Why don't they want to roll in it and why do they freak out when I do?

Spaniels gonna spaniel. Fox poo for life.