To be utterly depressed by the thought of home working for ever?

[VeniceQueen2004]

I work in Higher Education in professional services. We were all sent home at lockdown and have been wfh ever since, like most people.

The uni have been working really hard to get student-facing staff back on site for the new term. All Prof Services however are to carry on working from home "at least until January". There is talk of a "new working model" where Prof Services colleagues will work mostly from home, with perhaps monthly team meetings and the odd day hot-desking.

I am absolutely gutted at the prospect. My job was never the most thrilling - my role is pretty ill-defined so I just end up doing whatever it occurs to people to give me; and the work is pretty boring. It has peaks and troughs, so a lot of the time I have way too much to do and other times I am more or less plodding along. I'm not customer facing particularly, so very rarely have meetings. What made my job tolerable and even lovely before was my colleagues in my team - who I absolutely love - and our nice, pally office in an attractive building.

I had a great space to work in, friends to talk to and go for a drink with. If work sometimes got me down, then that was manageable because of the upsides.

Now we Teams a bit but it's not the same at all. I'm working in the attic, which is a much better home work space than many have I know, but I am not comfortable up here. And I am so so lonely and bored! I miss seeing something other than the inside of my house. I miss seeing other people, talking to other people! I'm left with just spreadsheets. Endless spreadsheets. And the longer it goes on and is predicted to go on, the more depressed I am with how my life has ended up through no choice of my own.

I also feel like a freak as everyone else seems to love wfh. I feel like the only person in the world who doesn't love being free of all distractions, slobbing in my pyjamas etc.

And although my situation is objectively good, I feel like this decision has been made with no consideration for how different people are set up for home working. I have a junior colleague who had a bespoke work station to help with health problems, RSI, back pain etc. Now he's at home on the dining table. The best option work have come up with is 'come into the office to collect your stuff'. This assumes he has a spare room (he doesn't) or a big enough dining room to accommodate a full-size adjustable desk and a huge specialised office chair (he doesn't). Their solution seems to be a shrug. Questions about whether work will reimburse staff for the purchase of suitable specialised equipment (as well as increased bills etc from wfh) have been met with another shrug and the suggestion that people will be saving so much money on commuting they can do this themselves. My commute was a ten minute walk! I am saving nothing, I am losing a lot, and this goes completely unacknowledged.

Does anyone else feel like C-19 is being used by employers as an excuse to completely wash their hands of their responsibility to ensure their staff have a suitable work environment? Not for the short term emergency, but for the long haul?

Also please tell me SOMEONE else hates being at home all the time - I feel like such a needy weirdo!

Wah. Massive whinge but I am just so bloody miserable facing another lonely day in the attic

I work in HE, though not in professional services, and I think realistically any talk of a 'new working model' is just that, talk. Honestly, I don't think in most cases productivity is uniformly better across the board when people work from home. There are things that realistically can't happen easily from home, even if you aren't student facing. We are similarly being told that we are not to come back to the office before January at the earliest (despite students being back and lecturing taking place - all my lecturing is remote as is all my research, meetings, conferences, supervision, etc.). But it really will not be like this forever. There are all sorts of idiots rushing to move to the countryside and make 'lifestyle changes' under the assumption that we will not go back to working mostly as normal in the not too distant future. We will. There will likely be more flexibility and more openness to remote working, but I think especially in HE, which very much has a culture of presenteeism and where students will be on campus, it won't be mandatory. If your uni ends up going that way, then you can always look around for another role and it won't be the case in most unis or most businesses, generally speaking.

I hate working from home too.
I know I'll go back in the office but I'll be with the last group of people to go back in (not by choice, they just put other people in sooner) ☹️
I am lonely
I'm a single parent so it's just me and my child
And I'm less happy and the customers get to me more because I don't have anyone to interact with and buoy me up

Many people enjoy WFH now. There won't be many that both enjoy WFH and management also encourage it.

My boss (remote) is fine about where we choose to work, her boss (in our office) is a massive control freak and will have us back as soon as possible. We are ok for now as it is a blanket decision globally for our company.

@mindutopia

Thanks for replying - I really really hope you're right. Our uni was already struggling financially before COVID and there was constant talk of restructuring and redundancies. I feel like they've slightly leapt on this as a cost-saving opportunity. The entire External Relations department have been converted to wfh for the forseeable future - their building has literally been sold and they haven't been assigned any new office space. Same thing has happened with another team in my division - their offices have been redistributed to an academic department and they haven't been advised of new ones, just told to come and take all their things home.

I think things are very different within schools and colleges - of course they will be needed on campus. But for us in desk based jobs in prof services, there really doesn't seem to be any consideration of bringing us back - and because wfh seems to suit so many who are senior (who will have been living in the plusher villages miles away from campus, and who have larger homes to fit out for home working) there is no push to consider the long term impact of working alone in a totally unsuitable environment.

Here's hoping this is just the interim phase and they'll want us back eventually to keep an eye on us! I have zero motivation right now and am genuinely starting to feel quite depressed. I've mentioned it to my line mgr as I've had mental health issues last year (traumatic bereavement and overwork), and I'm pregnant, so very wary of going back to the Bad Place - she's lovely, but really what can she do? She suggested setting up a team meeting on Teams so we can all catch up, but tbh I'm really uncomfortable in online meetings - it's just not the same and it's hard to think of anything to say except work-related stuff. Spontaneous office chat is just so much more organic

I know I need to stop whinging and try to buck up. I came of my antidepressants to get pregnant so possibly that was a mistake given the current situation. I feel embarrassed to be such a weak link.

@purpleme12 Thank you, I'm not alone!!! Sorry you're going through it as well. At least they will get you back in eventually... hang in there! x

When DC was tiny I went self employed, from home.

I absolutely fucking hated it. It was boring and lonely and I was surrounded by people saying “ooh, lucky you, no commute, no office nonsense that sounds perfect”. To which I’d smile and nod and agree, because it sounded so pathetic to say “no, actually I’m lonely and bored”.

It did make me realise how dull my (high-earning, “fancy”) career was, so I changed to do something I liked instead.

Hi OP - I'm HE as well and finding wfh depressing too.

I think a lot of people feel the same way, but perhaps don't express it much because it's viewed as ungrateful when many have either been struggling on the front line or have lost their jobs. We are the 'lucky'ones.

I hope this isn't the 'new normal' because there is nothing normal about being at home all day, everyday. We will wait and see.

... so no, I don’t think anyone finding WFH rubbish is alone in that opinion!

@VeniceQueen2004 thank you. Hope it gets more bearable for you x

@Saz12

It did make me realise how dull my (high-earning, “fancy”) career was, so I changed to do something I liked instead.

This is definitely true! I mean I knew I didn't love my actual role, but with nothing to distract me from how bloody boring it is that is now looooud and clear I've started looking at a career change and thinking about how I can use time on my maternity leave to skill myself for a role that I might actually find compelling. If I'm going to be stuck at home all day at least I could be doing something I enjoy!

I have honestly fantasised about bar work, which I did as my uni job - just because it keeps you busy and there's people!!! I'm clearly getting desperate as the money and hours would not work with my family life - but oh God, the idea is tempting as I open up spreadsheet 4 million...

YANBU. My husband works in admissions and thinks will be WFH until January at least. We have lost our living room to this and I feel like my home and privacy has been taken over by his constant working on our living room. I can't have my mum over for a meal and a chat as he is "there" all the time. Cannot watch any telly on day off etc

I feel exactly the same. I have stuck it out in a mundane office job for years because the office camaraderie made it bearable. Some of my best friends are people I met at work and I always found that during tough times such as relationship breakdowns, being at work amongst people really helped.

Now I'm just alone everyday and yeah I like the home comforts, the daytime telly, being with my dog and so on but the thought of working like this forever is so depressing to me.

@GeorgeMichaelsEspadrille

I think a lot of people feel the same way, but perhaps don't express it much because it's viewed as ungrateful when many have either been struggling on the front line or have lost their jobs. We are the 'lucky'ones.

Definitely this - I feel so embarrassed to be so low, especially as it isn't even that tough now my daughter's back to nursery - I have colleagues with small houses and school-age children, how they have survived the last few months with their sanity I do not know. And yes, at least I have a job! So it does seem bad form to whinge. But nevertheless... whiiiiinge!

I’m with you op. To be honest Iv always hates wfh and never really took up the offer of the occasional day. I like the thought of have the option for part of the week but I want it to be my decision and work around me.

I very much miss all the things you described and have gotten quite tearful at times about things that wouldn’t have gotten to me when my colleagues around me.

Thank you everyone who has replied, I feel less alone. And the positive spin is at least it will be a kick up the arse to find a job I actually like in it's own right, colleagues notwithstanding (once I have this baby out of the way! )

MN is a good place sometimes

You are so NBU.

It's all shit.

Sociable people who actually get on with their colleagues are really suffering. All the people who were loftily declaring that it's a small price to pay for a few months because PEOPLE ARE DYING have no imagination or empathy.

@HesterShaw1

Sociable people who actually get on with their colleagues are really suffering. All the people who were loftily declaring that it's a small price to pay for a few months because PEOPLE ARE DYING have no imagination or empathy.

Thank you!! this is the thing, when it was for 'a few months' or even 'until it's safe' I could handle it. But now work are making noises that we might never go back to the office as we were, I'm just totally panicking. I honestly can't work like this forever, it's so fucking bleak!

Bottom line : get another job.

Confused by the people voting YABU. Even if they love working from home that doesnt mean you are wrong to hate it.

Personally if my job told me wfh was permanent I would start looking for another job. I like the social aspect of working in an office. I also like the structure and routine of having to get up, dressed and out the door. Then come home in the evening and relaxing in my home. It's not the same when you've been wfh all day and theres only so many walks you can go for.

I get why some people like wfh but I'd hate it.

@VickySunshine

Definitely - first thing on my list once I've had baby, finished mat leave and earned back my maternity pay! So that's a good outcome I suppose.

There does seem to be an unusual number of antisocial people on MN.

Those who don't answer the door, hate it when someone phones for a chat, think someone popping by for a cup of coffee is rude and prefers Christmas just at home with their own famalam

I thought all the research suggests that in the short term people enjoy wfh, reduced commute time/costs and a bit more flexibility regarding hours.
However once the novelty wears off it’s really bad for people’s mental health. People get depressed and unmotivated.
So no you are not unreasonable op. My DD lives on her own in a tiny studio flat with no outside area. She’s come back to the family home because she has found it so depressing.

Yeh also depressed and non-motivated
Came back into office ASAP when offered desks for people struggling

Just boring and lonely
Don't have enough 'local' friends to see people very day, and also don't want to be out drinking every night to 'see people'

YANBU. I struggled WFH all the time. We came back to the office one day a week on rotation to allow social distancing. Boss has suddenly decided we all have to be back in everyday despite other departments still WFH. I would love WFH one/two days a week as a good balance.

I'm PS too, I'm a sociable person and find WFH miserable too, the best description I heard was 'work with all the good bits taken out'. The novelty of being able to hang the washing out soon wore off.