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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be utterly depressed by the thought of home working for ever?

37 replies

VeniceQueen2004 · 17/09/2020 09:15

I work in Higher Education in professional services. We were all sent home at lockdown and have been wfh ever since, like most people.

The uni have been working really hard to get student-facing staff back on site for the new term. All Prof Services however are to carry on working from home "at least until January". There is talk of a "new working model" where Prof Services colleagues will work mostly from home, with perhaps monthly team meetings and the odd day hot-desking.

I am absolutely gutted at the prospect. My job was never the most thrilling - my role is pretty ill-defined so I just end up doing whatever it occurs to people to give me; and the work is pretty boring. It has peaks and troughs, so a lot of the time I have way too much to do and other times I am more or less plodding along. I'm not customer facing particularly, so very rarely have meetings. What made my job tolerable and even lovely before was my colleagues in my team - who I absolutely love - and our nice, pally office in an attractive building.

I had a great space to work in, friends to talk to and go for a drink with. If work sometimes got me down, then that was manageable because of the upsides.

Now we Teams a bit but it's not the same at all. I'm working in the attic, which is a much better home work space than many have I know, but I am not comfortable up here. And I am so so lonely and bored! I miss seeing something other than the inside of my house. I miss seeing other people, talking to other people! I'm left with just spreadsheets. Endless spreadsheets. And the longer it goes on and is predicted to go on, the more depressed I am with how my life has ended up through no choice of my own.

I also feel like a freak as everyone else seems to love wfh. I feel like the only person in the world who doesn't love being free of all distractions, slobbing in my pyjamas etc.

And although my situation is objectively good, I feel like this decision has been made with no consideration for how different people are set up for home working. I have a junior colleague who had a bespoke work station to help with health problems, RSI, back pain etc. Now he's at home on the dining table. The best option work have come up with is 'come into the office to collect your stuff'. This assumes he has a spare room (he doesn't) or a big enough dining room to accommodate a full-size adjustable desk and a huge specialised office chair (he doesn't). Their solution seems to be a shrug. Questions about whether work will reimburse staff for the purchase of suitable specialised equipment (as well as increased bills etc from wfh) have been met with another shrug and the suggestion that people will be saving so much money on commuting they can do this themselves. My commute was a ten minute walk! I am saving nothing, I am losing a lot, and this goes completely unacknowledged.

Does anyone else feel like C-19 is being used by employers as an excuse to completely wash their hands of their responsibility to ensure their staff have a suitable work environment? Not for the short term emergency, but for the long haul?

Also please tell me SOMEONE else hates being at home all the time - I feel like such a needy weirdo!

Wah. Massive whinge but I am just so bloody miserable facing another lonely day in the attic Sad

OP posts:
emsyj37 · 17/09/2020 11:09

I really like my job and I do enjoy the work itself too, for the most part - but I still hate full time WAH!!! I have a good set up with a desk and extra screens funded by work etc but I miss the social element and the routine of going out to work. I miss lunches, drinks, chit chat, and the learning aspect of being around more senior colleagues. If I was told this was permanent I would quit! We are going back at some point, but not anytime soon - very much doubt it will be this year. Sad

weaselish · 17/09/2020 11:17

Totally agree OP; I also hate working from home and am overjoyed at being allowed back in the office this week. Getting a nice coffee; aircon; people to talk to and get lunch with; doing errands on the commute (boots; bank; post office. Etc) rather than a standalone trip. Yes the commute still sucks but it's worth it.
I used to work from home every Friday which was enough - but now doing it every day since March and it got very lonely. Also hard to get separation from work and home, and was working stupid hours, especially when the kids were needing me to help w homeschooling too so work has to happen before and after that.
I think you need to speak to your line manager and suggest that you'd like to come in for the reasons you outlined above. We've been told we don't have to come back til January earliest but can if we want to. Some are delighted and will stay at home as long as possible; others like me are desperate to work in the office for all the reasons you mentioned.

VeniceQueen2004 · 17/09/2020 11:40

We specifically can't come back in. And even if we were allowed many in my team wouldn't (they like it!!) So I'd be hot dealing with strangers. Might still take it tbh as I'm so lonely! But not even an option now unless your work can only be done on campus

OP posts:
Judystilldreamsofhorses · 17/09/2020 11:47

I'm also in HE, but in a teaching role - all my teaching is remote and I hate it! I feel like I am talking at a screen of little circles and have no connection with the students. It will be easier with tutorials, but for now it is rubbish.

I'm at the kitchen table, and it is going to be cold as we go into winter too. I do like not having to haul myself to work on rainy days, and getting longer in bed, but I also walked to work so am not saving anything on commuting either.

Womencanlift · 17/09/2020 11:56

Ah I have found my people. I have often thought on here that nobody else was feeling the same as me.

I hate it too and these last six months have been the most demotivating of my career. Yes I have got in with it, yes I have been productive and work output hasn’t changed but I am so miserable. Oh and I have family who have experienced worse during lockdown so I am not immune to what else is going on but still doesn’t change how I personally feel.

I am one of these strange people who actually like and friends with the people I work with and while I can speak to them on the phone it’s not the same.

My concern is that there is becoming such a divide between the wfh and wfo (Office) camps especially on here and I just hope companies end up offering both to support all their staff

SantaClaritaDiet · 17/09/2020 11:57

You are not YABU to have feelings.

You can either consider changing role at some point and go to a people-facing role. Many jobs will always be impossible to do from home.

You can also build on your private life. I love WFH, but mainly because it gives me a private life. I can concentrate and work during "office hours" and have time to do hobbies, sport and meet friends after. I am also lucky that my hours are not strict, so I can take 1 hour lunch break from time to time and go to the gym, or pop to the shops if i want.

I have a much better social life, going to an office takes away all my free time and I am much less efficient because I am interrupted all the time. Or I have to waste time waiting for something like now and I am on MN. I am never on social media at home, I am so much more productive because I get things done, and if I have a spare moment I can leave my desk and do something else.

Having your own desk at home means you can make yourself comfortable, you chose the right heating or windows opened, the right decor, it's so much better.

110APiccadilly · 17/09/2020 12:02

My work have started letting people back in for well being if requested. The number of requests is pretty significant, so you're certainly not alone in this.

VeniceQueen2004 · 17/09/2020 12:08

I'm the mum of a toddler so social life/hobbies are to be fair a bit limited. I genuinely got a lot of socializing at work, so didn't miss it on the inevitable evenings in. I used to swim, which I loved, but pool still isn't open where I live. Should try and meet up with friends more that's for sure. But a lot of my friends are still quite anxious about infection (either generally anxiety sufferers or have vulnerable adults/newborns they are responsible for) so feel bad pestering them.

I do try to get out for lunch but it seems so pointless going out just for the sake of going out ... Walked every route in the park, don't need anything from the shops... Meh. I'm just so flat.

I don't have space for a proper work station really which is half the issue. If I had s proper size desk and my office chair I'd be happier I think. But still just spending 8 hours a day on your own is bloody miserable, whether or not you pack out your free time with activities.

But I do need to change my attitude. I'll be this way at least until Feb when I go on mat leave - that's a long time to be grumpy!

OP posts:
Frankiegoes · 17/09/2020 12:12

YANBU - I also hate working from home, and I’m so pleased that I’m back at the office now. I need to look for a new job, but will wait until next year when it will be more clear which companies are solely working from home, so I can avoid applying for them.

I’ve always been like this, and even when studying at school and university I used to go to the library every day to work. I’m not a massively sociable person and do enjoy my own company, but not for working. I need people working around me as it motivates me and stops me getting bored and distracted.

bigchris · 17/09/2020 12:22

I don't understand whatbgheybthink will change in January when sure at uni the autumn term is the busiest !

Come January we'll be right in the middle of flu season too

dayslikethese1 · 17/09/2020 13:32

I know a lot of people that feel the same OP and it does seem that some orgs are using these as an excuse to save costs on buildings/desks. I do personally like WFH but I think it should be a choice as I understand now everyone can or wants to. Especially if you have a couple both WFH that's a bit of a nightmare and I don't think it's good for a relationship to be together all the time.

dayslikethese1 · 17/09/2020 13:36

It does help if you can set up your desk etc. correctly and make it a nice environment I find.

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