AIBU in thinking that most people’s mental health has deteriorated in 2020

[Mistlewoeandwhine]

Just that really. Everything is harder and shittier and I’m finding it hard to feel positive. I don’t want to ask for help in RL as everyone I know is in a similar position.
YABU - I feel fine
YANBU - I feel shitty too

I would guess it’s been really hard for single people, who don’t have many/any friends.

Yeah it's been shit , no sugarcoating it .

Yep, me too HeresMe, me too.

@wellthiswentwell

Are you ok now stay strong

@thepeopleversuswork
I have to say one of the things which affected my mental state worst was endless updates from people lucky enough not to have to work about how much they were enjoying the time with their children. I know it wasn’t intended as such but reading about people’s endless crafting exploits and love of their gardens felt like a big slap in the face.

Yes - absolutely this. DH and I have been WFH for 6 months. And for all but 3 weeks of this time we’ve had the DC at home. Trying to work FT and entertain/homeschool children has nearly broken us. I certainly didn’t have any “making memories” time. In fact I actually had less free time than normal. My commute is only 20 minutes each way. The extra 40 minutes a day barely even covered the time I spent making lunch.

And I’m still stuck WFH - which I detest - no sign of going back into the office any time soon. In fact HR have started making noises about maybe being back in the office FT in summer 2022 . I’m really starting to feel like I’m living at work. I miss the separation between work and home so much.

I have lost my small business and 2 part time jobs so I am £400 a month worse off. I wasn’t able to see my adult children in another part of the country for months. My church closed it’s doors and has only just re-opened, I can’t take part in any of the groups I was a member of, some things had started to re-open but have now been closed again due to the rule of 6. Events we had tickets for have been cancelled or postponed.

I can’t wear a mask so only do essential food shopping if I need anything between online deliveries.

My life is drab and depressing in comparison to before and my mental health is definitely suffering, and sadly I can’t see things improving until there is a vaccine and we don’t know how long that will be. I actually struggle to know what day it is as they are all the same.

YANBU

I've been highly anxious, but I've massively improved my depression which has been pretty awful the past few years.

I've lost 60lbs, found out my vitamin D was low and started meds, so I feel much better, exercising regularly every day because it was the only time I got out, and spent much more time with the kids than usual.

I've come out the depression and even gotten back home from living with mum to my house, to sorting out the mess that my house was from the years of depression.

But my anxiety is sky high. I'm higher risk, going out alone is hard, any sort of temperature or cough and I panic.

YANBU

I developed severe panic attacks and now on meds wondering how the hell I'm going to ever become normal again.

My MH has been shit this year, like at times, considering suicide shit. I think I had mild PND bubbling under the surface for a few months before, but lockdown triggered full-on severe PND that resulted in me finally starting antidepressants and counselling. To all those saying everyone on furlough had it easy, that isn't true for everyone. I was furloughed for about 3 months and spent 24/7 with my toddler. With nowhere to take him, no going to work for a 'break' and family unable to help due to lockdown restrictions, it was too much for me to take. I love him to pieces but there was no escape from the relentlessness of it (not to mention the usual sleep deprivation on top). Thankfully I'm now back at work and am coming off the antidepressants, so my MH is improving. The advice to 'be positive and make the most of it' is frankly fucking insulting to those whose MH has suffered through no fault of their own.

I think it’s extremely crass to talk about how much you enjoyed lockdown whilst 10s of thousands of people were dying. It’s very self absorbed.

my mental health is shit. I live alone and miss the social interaction of work, don't have many friends and am sat at the same desk working and doing a course 12 hours a day. I get no feedback on work and am becoming paranoid about messing up because I don't know if what I have done was OK or not. I rarely get to speak to colleagues and am trying to second-guess all the time. I can't concentrate for more than 15 minutes and I can't sleep. My eyesight is screwed from screens all day. I've got nobody I can tell this to.

Every day seems the same and it feels like I've been here (desk) for a week, a month, 5 years...I don't know, it's all the same. I've achieved nothing. Everything I care about and enjoy - my clients, my friends and colleagues, a creative and the caring job that gave me a sense of purpose and competence - has disappeared. We might be like this in a year according to work. Everything is so flat, so colourless. I've completely lost hope and wish it were all over.

@thesquirrelsnuts

Reading these responses makes me think we should have a covid MH thread

I don't feel my mental health has deteriorated although I am quite practical and resilient. I'm lucky that I don't have the added worry of young children nor any decrease in salary although I have suffered a very close bereavement which has probably put the pandemic into perspective for me. I appreciate that many others have had a far more difficult time.

@FreidaMind 100 per cent agree. I find it disturbing to be honest.

@FreidaMind

I think it’s extremely crass to talk about how much you enjoyed lockdown whilst 10s of thousands of people were dying. It’s very self absorbed.

People are dying all the time, awful things are happening to people all the time. It is OK to share positive stories too.

I think it is insulting when people start talking about how people who didn't enjoy it just didn't make the most of it and were not positive enough, but recognising that you were in a more privileged situation and were able to enjoy aspects of it is OK.

I would have liked to have had the time to enjoy hobbies, find new ones and spend days watching films and going on walks with the children. Instead, like many people, I had to juggle home schooling, studying a full time course (delivered poorly due to remote delivery) and working full time stuck in my bedroom.

I was in the fortunate position that my job was 100% safe though.

All experiences are valid, but calling people who enjoyed it seriously mentally ill, self-absorbed for sharing their positive situation or accusing people of just not making the most of it isn't really needed.

I miss the separation between work and home so much.

That was the hardest part for me about WFH. I worked in my bedroom and slept in my bedroom. My insomnia was dreadful. I was still thinking about work when I had finished for the day.

I can't imagine not being able to go back in until 2022

I had a lot of anxiety about my mum as she works for the NHS, but I was able to support her more as we spent lockdown together so we weren't both alone. I ran her house and did the cooking, while she worked as a health visitor.

It was hard not seeing my DD for over twelve weeks too, especially as she didn't have access to a laptop and her dad was pretty lax about staying on top of homeschooling because of it. She basically missed most of her schooling over lockdown, and is behind now, whilst also being assessed for autism and we're told she has ADHD.

And obviously losing family members to covid was sad and difficult.

But I think I had to find the positive or lose my mind with anxiety and depression.

YABU. Many teenagers mental health improved during lockdown.

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.bbc.co.uk/news/amp/uk-53884401

I actually think it's ignorant and small-minded to be so wrapped up in yourself that you'd enjoy a period in time like that. I feel really worried for our greater society and that affects me. I'm not someone who just thinks of their own microcosm but there's clearly lots of you about.

Ahhh - now I see the source of the (wilful) misunderstanding. You thought that "I was fortunate enough to be able to spend my time pretty enjoyably during lockdown, due to the luck of my own particular circumstances" in fact meant "I'm glad there was a pandemic because it worked out great for me. I don't care about anybody else and didn't have any concerns that I or any of my loved ones might get sick or die."?

I don’t really understand people who are currently really worried and angry at anyone enjoying themselves but didn’t feel the same way during over a decade of austerity.

I feel personally relatively unscathed. My partner has thrived in Zoom meetings instead of going in to work. My teenage daughter has plummeted though.
She already had social anxiety but by the end of the Summer term, she’d developed severe depression, general anxiety, agoraphobia and anorexia.
She’s now on antidepressants and a lot better. I was stunned at the effect of a term of school work at home on her, particularly as with social anxiety I’d have assumed she’d have preferred home working.

I felt very depressed during lockdown due to WFH (how does that even work when you’re a teacher?) and trying to Home Ed my DD6. DP also WFH but we all had so much less quality time together and my working day extended from 8.00am - midnight or later very regularly. I spent most of the summer break lolling on the sofa from exhaustion and really not knowing how to behave or how to be social. It sounds crazy but lockdown took a lot from me.
Obviously there’s threats of further lockdowns hanging too so everything feels very, very bleak.

I’m not depressed now but over lockdown my mental health really dipped and I can empathise with people still struggling now.

I think that many people didn't find lockdown itself a problem at all. I certainly have found it okay. My work life is also easier as I worked from home anyway but often felt out of the loop with colleagues who were in the office. That has changed now everyone is in the same position. The job insecurity, worry about catching Covid and knowing that many have died and will die in the future from Covid has certainly not been good though.

[quote PinkLegoBrick]YABU. Many teenagers mental health improved during lockdown.

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.bbc.co.uk/news/amp/uk-53884401[/quote]
Yes, I think many teenagers enjoyed not going to school. I would have loved it and it seems strange that so many assume their mental health would be worse.