AIBU in thinking that most people’s mental health has deteriorated in 2020

[Mistlewoeandwhine]

Just that really. Everything is harder and shittier and I’m finding it hard to feel positive. I don’t want to ask for help in RL as everyone I know is in a similar position.
YABU - I feel fine
YANBU - I feel shitty too

[TheDuchessofMalfy]

Yeah I agree. Mine is bad. I don’t do well when I can’t plan or have things to look forward to.

[Coffeeisnecessary]

Agree totally with @thepeopleversuswork
The amount of people posting on social media about their crafts/homeschooling etc when I was working more than 60 hours a week, and trying to keep up with 2 lots of homeschooling and failing at everything was almost enough to break me. I'm mainly feeling the stress of it now as it's all caught up with me.

[Noshowlomo]

My MH has taken a nose dive, especially for the first few months of not being able to hug my parents and friends and having no childcare. Most friends feel the same.
My friend has actually created an instagram page Kateandher_brain where she posts about MH issues and normalising them. She has helped me massively. It has been a struggle and I just want it over 🤯

[XDownwiththissortofthingX]

I'm another who actually preferred full lockdown to the 'normal' routine. I'm not alone, and it seems that most of the people I know who suffer from agoraphobic anxiety, social anxiety, etc felt the same way.

I think it's undoubtedly the case that Lockdown will have been the catalyst for declining mental state in people who perhaps haven't encountered mental health issues previously, and I'm sure it was difficult for people who rely on outdoor pursuits and contact with other people to combat their depression etc, but there are a lot of people around for whom Lockdown was bliss, and it's the resumption of something approaching normality that's causing their current anxiety.

I don't believe it will have negatively affected 'most' people's mental health, because that's drastically underestimating the number of people who will just have ridden it out without it impacting their mental health in any way whatsoever. I think that because of increased awareness we're guilty of falling into the trap of thinking that the vast majority of people experience ongoing depression, anxiety etc, when the truth is the majority of people live the entirety of their lives without encountering any sort of mental health difficulty whatsoever.

[OfficeMonkee]

@user1471538283

I worked throughout lockdown and some people had absolutely no consideration of this. It was absolutely miserable

I agree with this. Some people had more work and pressure than ever before, but apparently we should have been enjoying a slower pace and rainbow walks 😒 I assume those living at this slow pace were unemployed in the first place or furloughed.

[readingismycardio]

YANBU.

My mental health seems to be on track (For now!), but I heard many people saying that they feel depressed and hopeless. This really is a new situation and it can affect you terribly on a background of anxiety, distress, personal problems etc.

Unfortunately I believe this is just the beginning.

[HeresMe]

agree with this. Some people had more work and pressure than ever before, but apparently we should have been enjoying a slower pace and rainbow walks 😒 I assume those living at this slow pace were unemployed in the first place or furloughed.

Same here appantly we should have been loving it

[SingToTheSky]

I’m definitely struggling more since the rules started relaxing - for me it wasn’t that lockdown was more peaceful etc (although there were definite advantages of rushing around less) - I missed everyone and everything. But when the rules relaxed there was too much uncertainty

[dementedma]

MH definitely worse for me, significantly so

[silverPersephone]

I worked at least 150% normal hours and home schooled my children, it was not fun or chilled or nice rainbow walks...... it was horrible stressful and bad for my family and mental health. In order to keep a roof over our heads I had to do it, it was not a choice and life was not as we made it...... that attitude is so self centred it made me feel even more like a failure than this situation has made me feel.

[Mistlewoeandwhine]

I’m genuinely glad to hear of all the people who are finding life better. I don’t want people to be unhappy.
It’s more that my own experience (whilst nowhere near as bad as other people’s that I’ve heard of) is that a huge amount of my friends are struggling in different ways - not just through redundancy, fear of redundancy etc but also because of isolation.
Maybe it’s worth adding that I’m in Manchester so we can’t even have friends over in the garden. I’ve seen two of my friends twice since March and no relatives at all as they are either shielding or in lockdown.

[Fishfingersandwichplease]

I was in holiday in a place on the other side of the world once when a terrorist attack occurred - we were kept safe by the police in lockdown all night and it was horrific so l would rather this when l can sleep in my own bed and be near family. Having said that, this is just relentless and there is no end to it so yes OP l totally get why some people's mh has taken a battering and they have my empathy xx

[lazylinguist]

but apparently we should have been enjoying a slower pace and rainbow walks

I think everyone knows that lockdown affected different people in different ways depending on their job, their family situation and the area they live in.

[thepeopleversuswork]

@user1471538283

I worked throughout lockdown and some people had absolutely no consideration of this. It was absolutely miserable

This.

One of the hardest things about it for me was that because I was forced to work more or less around the clock because of job insecurity, I not only didn't get to home-school my child I barely saw my child even though she was in the next room. It was one of the hardest things I have ever gone through in my life.

All the people saying they enjoyed the more relaxed pace of life, more time with their families, fresh air, less socialising etc really really upset me. I know it wasn't meant unkindly but it was so difficult to observe this. Particularly because in some cases people were linking it to "values" and so forth, with this unpleasant moral overtone.

The subtext to some of the commentary was that this new introvert-friendly, withdrawn life was the one true way and those nasty rat-race types who spend all their lives running to and fro offices were being shown how life ought to be.

On top of the stress, the guilt and the paranoia about losing my job it was really too much. I'm sorry to those of you who enjoyed lockdown, I know your experience was no less valid than mine but sometimes I really wish some of you had put a sock in it.

[U2HasTheEdge]

@LaurieFairyCake

I'm a therapist with the longest waiting list I've ever had in 18 years

Says it all

I work in MH and we are busier than ever too. The number of referrals are at an all time high.

It has certainly had an impact on a significant number of people's mental health.

As for myself, my mental health took a dive for a while. Working from home at the start was awful. My job isn't suited to it, having all my children at home whilst trying to work (with no home office), and not being able to see my family was horrible.

It is much better for me now I have a nice balance of working from home, the office and being out and about, and can see family members.

[SaltyAndFresh]

I wouldn't have said my MH had suffered that much until MNers who were dead-set on denying the dangers of Covid in schools started telling me I was mentally unwell and unfit to do the job. Ironically, vitriol of that sort does affect my MH. Some posters have been absolutely vile and this is reflected on SM.

I think your perception of 2020 is very much affected by the job you do. It's difficult not to feel hard done when you're taking massive risks on behalf of people who either feel entitled to expect you to do so or who don't have to take many themselves.

2020 is utterly shit.

[Wimpeyspread]

I’m obviously speaking from a place of privilege, but my experience is still valid - I’m retired, and have my own house and small garden, and fairly introverted, and I found lockdown actually peaceful - all the demands, actual and imagined, on me were lifted, I didn’t ‘have’ to do anything, or go anywhere or deal with anything, and my anxiety has lifted enormously. I’m not totally cut off from the world - I have 4 adult children whose lives have been affected in varying degrees

[Doobigetta]

OP I’m in Manchester too, and I think that makes a massive, massive difference. Most people here are talking about “when we were in lockdown” and here we are, still there. It’s not a memory for us. We’ve been in it since March with that brief break for a couple of weeks, and there are absolutely no signs that it’s going to get any better. It’s shit, and all the fucking hobbies and rainbow walks in the world make no fucking difference when you’ve been in it for six months with the prospect of another six months but in constant rain looming.

[ilovesooty]

@GetUpAgain

Yanbu but I would say do ask for help, even in shit times people want to help each other. Plus helping people gives your mental health a boost too quite often.

There's always someone on mumsnet who can empathise xx

I agree. Thankfully not everyone is like the people trilling away about how much they've enjoyed it.

[Stripesgalore]

I haven’t had worse mental health.

I am in an area that has been in lockdown throughout and I work in retail so I have been at work through lockdown.

I have been through some really terrible things in my life which have trashed my mental health. In comparison, lockdown has been a walk in the park.

I do appreciate that it is life destroying for DV victims and hope they can exit those relationships.

[IrishMamaMia]

I think people who enjoyed lockdown are probably severely mentally ill and don't realise it. I had to go on antidepressants, found it so unnatural. We're pack animals for a reason.

[kittensarecute]

My mental health is very fragile.
I hate this. I hate all this uncertainty.
The one thing (performing in shows) that makes me feel worth something has been stolen from me and I don't know if I will ever perform again.
If I didn't have my family, best friend and my cat I would have attempted suicide.

[ameliajoan]

@IrishMamaMia

I think people who enjoyed lockdown are probably severely mentally ill and don't realise it. I had to go on antidepressants, found it so unnatural. We're pack animals for a reason.

Don’t be so ridiculous. Not everyone was in the same lockdown situation so of course we all have different experiences.

From my family’s POV we were furloughed on 80% pay, knowing we had secure jobs to come back to, and all the time in the world to catch up on all the tv we’ve missed, books we’d been wanting to read, games we’ve wanted to play, walks we’ve always wanted to take etc.

Like I said, I can appreciate not everyone had the same experience, but making light of mental health issues by calling those who are happy and healthy “severely mentally ill” is unacceptable.

[MrsMomoa]

Is it really so hard to imagine that for some people, it was and still is, an utterly shit time?

All this dippy crap about positivity!
Must be nice in your bubble there.

Give your head a wobble!

[IrishMamaMia]

I think pointing out how you enjoyed a global pandemic is pretty abnormal @ameliajoan