So I may be unreasonable and am willing to be told so.
So once a fortnight my pil will pick up my sons one eve a week after school and spend 1:1 time with them. We seem them as a while family as well but they like having time on their own with each of them. They also do this with my niece exactly the same. My eldest son has autism and this is time he really enjoys but it's not like I ask them for childcare if that makes sense. We also see them frequently as a family as well.
My sil is not very understanding with how my son is different. It actually has led to my nil and sil falling out over it which me and my husband found awkward and felt sorry for my mil but ultimately were not happy that she can be nasty at times. She's called him a weirdo, freak before because he is different. She tells us that we need to discipline him for being rude as he doesn't wave and say hello when she comes in.
Well today after school my son was at my pils and they had planned they were going to make pizza all lovely. My sil came round with her daughter who is 4. Niece went over to my son and kept putting her orange under his nose (he really doesn't like the smell of oranges and she's seen him react to that before). My son was abrupt with niece and said get that away from me. Sil then shouted at my son and said you don't speak to her like that. It's bizarre a boy at your age not liking oranges ill put your face in one one day. He then had a meltdown and wouldn't stop crying. My mil asked her to leave and called me to come and get him as he was very upset.
It's just left me feeling like why would an adult lack so much empathy for a child who she's known for the 10 years he's been alive and has been diagnosed since 4 knowing he has additional needs at time. I think she's cruel. I really love my pils and don't want to fall out with them at all but it leaves me thinking I don't want my son round without me there.
Quite honestly feel like this is the final straw with my sil I can't speak to her as I'm too angry.