What's the absolute latest a child should go to nursery?

[monsterad]

My son used to go to nursery one day a week from the age of about 15 months old until February this year when he turned two and when covid happened.

I'm currently undergoing IVF treatment so have decided to keep him out of nursery. I'm slightly concerned as to whether this will affect his development and potentially make him behind when it comes to going to school.

Hopefully we'll be able to have him back in Nursery when he's three.

They don’t have to go at all. It’s nice, I think, for them to socialise but there’s no particular time in which they have to go or they’ll be “behind”. There’ll be plenty of kids with SAHPs who don’t go to nursery at all and manage just fine.

All mine went when they were 3. No earlier.. All did /doing well above average at school. One is an August birthday also... 2 on the G & T register..

Totally fine. My dd has only just started two mornings at 2 and 3/4 and will do more days at three.

It’s been good this way for her.

I think it’s good for them to go during the academic year before they start school but it doesn’t need to be every day.

I don’t think there’s a right or latest time, and some kids are homebodies just like adults. I have a 3yo DD. At 2 I sent her in for two mornings a week a) to get used to it and b) because I needed a break. She’s now very sociable - runs after every child in the park shouting “Hello friend!” sort of thing - and she’s there one full day and two mornings a week (we’ve recently upped it). But that’s what works for us, it’s different for every family.

@SunbathingDragon

I think it’s good for them to go during the academic year before they start school but it doesn’t need to be every day.

Exactly this.

Mine went part-time at 3, when they got the funded hours. It’s a good balance, and would do the same again in future

Exactly the same position here op. Dd went 15 months to lockdown, two mornings, spent most of it sick.

Have taken her out, am expecting baby two. She can go when 3.

She starts at a small local playgroup next month one morning a week. That will feed into school nursery for next year.

It really doesn't matter. My 9 year old never went to nursery. Only 1 of my 5 dc used all of his free 15 hours.

What are you worried about him missing out on? You can do almost everything at home, apart from learning to be in a big group, which is overrated for a 2yo imo.

Mine went to a playgroup for a few hours at 2-3yo. They had play dates and were occasionally left with other adults. We did activities at home. They did a few half days at nursery school from 3.5. I don’t feel that they missed out at all.

None of mine went at all. Ds1 went to school at 4. Is now high up in finance.
Ds2 went at 5 1/2 he's traing to be an electrician.
Dd went at 4 1/2 expected A's at GCSE's next year, she's set on being a doctor.
All three made friends are polite, social and happy, fairly normal.
Let them be babies while you can, it only lasts 5 minutes.

I'm an early years practitioner, I'd say it's good to get children into nursery/pre school for the school year before they start school, but it's not essential x

Never.

Lots dont.

When mine were little, the local playschool didn't take children until they were 2.7 and nurseries were mostly too expensive for childcare options. Mine went to playschool two mornings a week and to a childminder one day a week, from the age of 2/7-2.9. Their development was absolutely fine.

I don’t believe nursery is essential. It helps to have practice leaving mom and dad and being in a group before reception, but that can be done with a dance class, an art class, or a kiddie football team.

I’m one of those parents obsessed with pulling academics, Best schools, must go to university, etc....but nursery isn’t academics, it’s practice being in a structured environment.

A massive thank you all! You've really set my mind at rest.

Absolutely planning for him to go the year before school. Will potentially be an independent nursery attached to a prep school. Just don't want school being a massive shock to his system.

I'm a sahm and I sent my eldest to preschool three (short) days a week from age 3 and I will do the same with my younger child.

It's not essential by any means but it's been invaluable for my eldest just for building social skills and learning that Mum leaves her but always comes back - something that's really seemed to help (so far!) with her transition to Reception this year.

Op we started in March at 2 1/4 and then had to take six months out. Every child is different but she goes in without tears at six months older and it is a gentle way to start imo.

It’s a really nice nursery (also attached to a private school) that has a lot of staff to pupil ratio. All this helps to he transition. Three is fine.

It depends on your nursery options...DS goes three days a week to a nursery with a very strong outdoor ethos where they run them ragged in a field most of the time. Since he's very high energy, that's great for us. If you have more of a potterer/homebody, nursery might not suit them so well.

I don't think it will make a bit of difference developmentally, lots of children don't go to nursery. Do you have any other help with childcare though OP, so you can have a bit of a rest? Having been through IVF for our DD, I can't imagine having to go through it again while also looking after a toddler full time.

Wishing you all the best of luck x

@Minimumstandard

It depends on your nursery options...DS goes three days a week to a nursery with a very strong outdoor ethos where they run them ragged in a field most of the time. Since he's very high energy, that's great for us. If you have more of a potterer/homebody, nursery might not suit them so well.

Missed the point, but thanks

@StepBackPlease

I don't think it will make a bit of difference developmentally, lots of children don't go to nursery. Do you have any other help with childcare though OP, so you can have a bit of a rest? Having been through IVF for our DD, I can't imagine having to go through it again while also looking after a toddler full time.

Wishing you all the best of luck x

No, I don't.. apart from my husband is here wfh full time.

My parents are around 1hr40 away and have offered their services. Guess I'll just get on with it day by day and hope for the best. Hope that isn't too naive. X

My kids didn't go to nursery at all- they had everything they needed in their lives.

@monsterad. Sorry wasn't very clear . First point... There are nurseries and nurseries. They're all fairly germy and noisy, so I'd only bother with nursery if you can find one with motivated staff where they can offer your DD something 'extra' to what you can give her at home. For me (living in a city with a postage stamp garden), that is outside space and lots of physical activity and woodland walks. So I wouldn't have sent DS to one in a confined space where the children spent most of their time indoors.

Second, it depends on personality. If you have a fairly easy-going DD who can quietly potter while you're pregnant/dealing with a newborn, you'll probably be fine. But if you have a very active or sociable child, they might need more physical activity or interaction with other children then you can realistically give them at home and their behaviour might worsen if they're stuck at home the whole time.

Also, as someone mentioned, when are you going to have a break if DD doesn't go to nursery, especially given you're not going to be feeling your best?

I think they should go even for just a couple of mornings a week for the academic year before they start school. More to help with social skills, and getting used to that sort of environment than actually learning skills.