To think a combined salary of 60k is really comfortable?

[BathedInLavender]

OUTSIDE of London. But still in the South East. This isn't a conversation about London because that obviously won't go very far there full stop.

AIBU to think a combined salary of 60k is actually comfortable and not 'meh' at all.

DH earns 30k, I earn the same but I'm part time so it's less because of pro rata. We aren't struggling by any means. If I returned to FT we would have a lot more spare cash, and we have a fair bit now. We don't have cheap housing costs, £900per month just on that.

I spend a lot of money on ridiculous crap and we holiday every year with DC.

It's not bad money if you're not paying out for an excessive mortgage or rental costs, I'd say.

I understand what you mean OP, and completely agree. For me, my aim is comfortable in your terms. Not rolling in money, just enough to not think about money all the time. So yes I have to think about big big purchases like houses and holidays, but the day to day stuff isn't a problem and if I do have a problem I can throw a bit of money at it and resolve it. However luckily I am, I suspect, more frugal than most, as I don't care about big expensive new cars, massive houses with millions of en suites, fancy holidays etc. If I can buy decent clothes, drink decent wine, go camping and hiking and eat out in a restaurant once a week I'm happy! O think when you have a lot of money it simply oasses through many people's hands quicker without enriching their lives too much.

I think it’s comparative to what those around you earn and your life expectations.

I think and DH thinks we are really really well off, but according to mumsnet we are mere middle earners (even though we both earn about double the average ) but we have simple life expectations, aren’t interested in cars and material shite particularly. We could even afford private Ed (although the dds don’t fancy it). We live outside the SE but bought property when we were in our early 20s, that makes a difference too. We could live well in the SE if we had to.

It's an amazing salary, I'd have to work for a decade to earn that.

£3800 a month each?

Our income is £600 a week after tax. Not Megabucks but we manage fine.

We have no mortgage and total bills come in at around £75 a week. Give or take a fiver. No car as we walk everywhere and dp cycles to work.

Food for the 3 of us comes to around £80 a week give or take a tenner.

The rest we can do what we want with but realistically we live really frugally. Most the remainder is set aside so we can go on holidays or breaks away whenever we want. None of us are interested in buying 'stuff' which helps hugely.

I think £30k a year is a tad below average for SE actually.

www.ons.gov.uk/employmentandlabourmarket/peopleinwork/earningsandworkinghours/bulletins/annualsurveyofhoursandearnings/2019

I agree OP, we take home around 4K a month and feel very comfortable, we live in the NW however so mortgage is only £500, CT £125 and our childcare bill is only £300 a month.

Yes It’s subjective.

We used to live in London quite comfortably on less than 25k. Day to day living isn’t that different to anywhere else. I see posts on here saying people can’t manage on 100k in London. You can, you just have to adjust. Apart from housing costs aren’t really any higher these days, and I find transport much cheaper. Cycling is easier, trains and buses far cheaper than elsewhere in the country.

Wish I was you op.
We earn just under 85k, which sounds amazing but after nursery/childminder for last 3 years we are beyond skint. Paying up to 1500 a month killed us.
Ounds great right- I took home around 2500 after tax, NI, pension (almost10%) and chidcare vouchers, my oh around 2200. So great money. Minus 1k mortgage, minus 1 k childcare, down to 2.5k. Still great right. Minus child support, own to 2 k. Minus 2 cars (both needed), down to 1.5, minus previous debt (both our fault), down to £500, minus bills and food.... yep you guessed it - minus amount each month.
The debt was built up by paying nursery via credit card and then a loan, etc etc. We both work full time in the SE. No holidays abroad for us for a while! However we did go down to lovely Cornwall last year which was amazing - and we got a free upgrade to a lodge which was perfect! Even if my youngest managed to somehow flush my glasses down the toilet🤪🤪

I dont really understand the point of this thread 🙈 all responses from OP are 'showy and look at me'

It’s a TAAT.

A thread where anyone under joint salaries of 200k a year isn’t a ‘high earner’

I do suspect you might be living comfortably on what your dp should be saving for retirement though. What will your joint income look like then? After all, having been part time you will be relying on his pension to top you up too.

It's an amazing salary, I'd have to work for a decade to earn that

If you’re only earning 6k a year full time I’d be talking to your employer about National Minimum Wage

I would say it's comfortable; we earn slightly less than that, with 2 kids. Although when I was full time before the kids, I would also have described us as 'only' comfortable, even though we had a lot more money and a lot more of it was disposable. We cut our cloth accord to our budget, so unless something significant happens (long term unemployment for example) and we can always manage our bills and some treats/emergencies, then I would describe us as comfortable. Different people will have definitions of how much money it takes to achieve comfort.

Where I live in bucks the comparable housing cost would be easily double yours, so about £2k. Throw in £1k childcare for just a child per month. Season ticket to London for work £300/m. That leaves you 500 quid for food, bills and spending for a month.

It absolutely would not cut it here for the lifestyle you describe. I suspect few people where I am have less than 100k between them.

I agree with Op that being comfortable means your income allows you to cover your housing costs and bills, plus to be able to make the kind if purchases she mentions, without having to give them much if any thought,in terms of overall budget.

£60k will allow some people to do exactly that if their housing costs and costs of things like childcare aren't excessively high. Because some people have much higher housing and childcare costs, £60k could be swallowed up by those things leaving nothing for the extras Op mentions such as replacing shoes when worn out, without a thought for the cost, having meals out or coffees etc.

We all know there are lots of people whose income doesn't last to thee nd of the month and are choosing between food or heating and that replacing a pair of shoes is just something there won't be money for without sacrificing some basic essentials. We know there are people who can never have a coffee out because that £2.50 is what they spend on feeding a family of 4 for a day. That's being not comfortable.

Lots of people are pleased and feel comfortable with some 'luxuries' that seem small fry to others. They feel comfortably off when they can choose freely innthebsuoermarket rather than looking at prices, say yes to an invitation to lunch in a restaurant without considering if they can afford it, can have a couple of holidays a year and know they can provide as many presents for children's parties as their kids get invited to. They feel they are able to participate in society and enjoy the things that make them happy and don't worry about a big expense like needing a new boiler as they have the money to pay for it.

Others pooh pooh this stuff. They say they don't feel comfortable unless they have their kids in private school with the fees for the next 6 years accounted for, plus enough money to live for 3 years if high paying spouse loses job. They don't feel comfortable unless that can ski each year or replace their big car every 2 years or live in the big detached house in a very expensive area.

Of course a lot is about what you are used to. Once you have more and bigger, it's harder to feel pleased with less and smaller. That's part of the problem isn't it...that lots of people need so much to feel pleased or comfortable. Once you develop an expensive lifestyle many of those things feel essential and the idea of not having them is shocking and the kind of income that wouldn't provide them seems pitiful or 'meh' as people mention. Some people only feel comfortable with an income that delivers luxury and things they know most people haven't got.l.so they need to feel they have much more to feel comfortable.

So Op, if your housing costs remain at around £1k, and you're able to cover your other costs and put some aside for old age or a rainy day, then I'd say your income is good enough for you where you live to feel comfortable. And I'm glad it covers your costs and gives you financial freedom to enjoy a life that isn't beset with money worries.

Lots of people have far less and feel comfortable too. Lots have far less and aren't comfortable by any means. But equally lots of people have double or triple what you do and sadly don't feel comfortable. There are always threads on here about people with incomes far in excess of yours who don't feel financially secure or comfortable..either because their debt (including mortgage) is so high, or their list of 'essentials' is so big that nothing is left.

Being happy with what you have is both a luxury and an art. There are objective numbers about what we need to survive and escape poverty and we probably come up with numbers about being comfortable too (Pension websites talk about incomes needed for a basic retirement, a comfortable retirement and a luxurious retirement) but feeling comfortable is also a mindset beyond those numbers. Feeling comfortable and satisfied and content with what we have is a great thing....so I'm glad you are able to feel that way and I think it's a shame that so many people couldn't even begin to envisage feeling comfortable with income, even if theirs is currently higher.

@Gizmo79 you hit the nail on the head. How well off you are is quite simply a function of incomings and outgoings. The nursery years are utter hell, but you will look back on it in a few years as a distant memory

It depends on what you want or used to in life.

What kind holidays? What kind of clothes? Where is your house? What kind of car? Private school or state? How many kids?

You can spend between 60k and 200k on just these “basic” things outside of London, depending on exactly what kind you choose.

We are on 70k pre tax
2k childcare
1.5k mortgage
Haven't had holiday since starting childcare

YANBU. I've been really poor at times in my life (gone without food, etc), and I am v comfortable with a good bit less than that. My DP thinks I still live like a wee frugal 1980s penniless waif, I feel like I am rich as kings because I don't have to worry about bills (mostly).

I live in the South East and my mortgage is £1,800 a month! Add to that a loan for my car £265 and council tax £285 and I'm already up to £2,350. And that's before electric and gas, mobile phones, TV packages, life insurance, home insurance, car insurance, car tax, water, all the other bills etc. Then there's petrol and food and all the things that two teenagers seem to need (haircuts, lunch money, money for activities and trips (pre Covid)).

Sadly we couldn't manage on that salary where we are (25 mins train from London). But I'm certain we could be comfortable on it if we were much further from London or had bought before houses became stupidly expensive.

It all depends on outgoings. If you’re in the commuter belt a good mortgage it is usually a lot cheaper than monthly rent. You can end up with a £900 a month mortgage on a three bed house when it would cost the same to rent a studio flat. If you have DC then one parent working and bringing in £60k with the other staying at home means more spare £ than two working and bringing in £60k together because full time childcare is very, very expensive. For a child under two £850 a month is the average with some areas having higher rates. A grandparent providing free childcare will mean you’re saving hundreds a month. If you have two people commuting into London for work that’s x2 season tickets at several thousand each - google says Bedford to London is £5/6k pa.

@notheragain4

OP you're not allowed to feel happy or confident in your lifestyle choices on AIBU, if you'd have posted "our household income is £60,000 and I don't think it's enough" you'd be slaughtered and all the posters who have lived on £10,000 a year would tell you you're practically in the 1%

It's above average, it's all relative, but that should say something.

THIS.

People have jumped on here to make the OP and anyone who earns this wage feel really poor and feel shit. I knew before I read any of the comments how it would go. Had it been said in reserve the OP and the OP didn't think this was enough she would of still been hounded for being unreasonable. You absolutely can't win.

People have jumped on here to make the OP and anyone who earns this wage feel really poor and feel shit. I knew before I read any of the comments how it would go. Had it been said in reserve the OP and the OP didn't think this was enough she would of still been hounded for being unreasonable. You absolutely can't win.

Well you can. Don’t compare your earnings to others and don’t post about it on the internet. I’ve questioned OP a little because I’m curious. Not because I think the salary is a lot or a little, but because it is similar to my own and I can’t afford a new car and multiple holidays a year so would like to know more. I wouldn’t want to know more if she hadn’t posted.

“Oh poor OP”... clearly someone forced her to post yes?

It all depends on your housing situation. If you bought before house prices went crazy then you are probably doing okay, anyone else it’s still a grind.

@BathedInLavender

Let me articulate why I think we're comfortable... If the boiler brakes down, we'd have emergency funds to pay for it. DS can do activities without me questioning costs of it all. I can do my food shop and not question the expense. I can pop in to little shops I like and buy a few bits. School uniform buying isn't a scare. If DS was of school age and said I needed to bring in cakes, I can whip to the shops and pick whatever I think will suit. If I needed to do a coffee morning contribution, I could grab it all at M&S. If school shoes needed replacing, I'd just replace. If I fancied lunch out, I'd just go etc

I think that's a really good expression of being comfortable. It's a great place to be.

I think people tend to expand into their earnings. They earn more, they move and get a bigger mortgage, take more expensive mortgages etc, but fundamentally not having to do the 'can I even afford this' check before most purchases is the luxury item here IMO.

Good for you OP.