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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wedding cancelled

45 replies

Starling57 · 13/09/2020 20:41

My daughters wedding has had to be cancelled due to Covid. It would have been this week. Does anyone have any suggestions as to what I could do/should do on the day? She’s spending the day with her partner which is great and we are looking after our grandson, but I just feel as her Mum I should do something? Get her a bouquet? A bottle of champagne etc? Or does that just ram it home that it’s been cancelled?
Thanks in advance for any ideas xx

OP posts:
BitOfFun · 13/09/2020 20:42

I'd just leave them to it and not make a fuss.

PurpleDaisies · 13/09/2020 20:44

Hasn’t it just been postponed rather than cancelled?

Trousersareoverrated · 13/09/2020 20:45

Im in the same position as your daughter. We have postponed rather than cancelled though so I’m not particularly upset - we will just have our day later. Does your daughter feel the same? Honestly I’m hoping that nobody makes a fuss as if we should be devastated- although I do appreciate that my mum is babysitting so we get a night away. That’s plenty for me (although I almost never turn down a bottle of wine!).

EveryDayIsADuvetDay · 13/09/2020 20:45

Difficult one - doing nothing might make it seem as if you don't care, champagne might make it seem you think it's something to celebrate.

Flowers or chocolates, or pay for a meal at a nice restaurant?

hammeringinmyhead · 13/09/2020 20:47

I'd give them a nice bottle of wine, rather than celebratory champagne.

BlueSlice · 13/09/2020 20:48

I had this. My mum sent me flowers which was so lovely of her.

Original poster
Starling57 · 13/09/2020 20:52

Thank you so much for replying.
Yes, it’s been postponed. My daughter has been so upset about it but I think has now come to terms with it.
I don’t think she’d want a huge fuss but I just want her to know that we appreciate this would have been her big day. Maybe a little token something and a big hug!

OP posts:
FreiasBathtub · 13/09/2020 20:53

I think this is just lovely of you! What are they doing on their childfree day? Could you surprise her with a haircut or a new outfit or some other kind of pampering so she feels really special? I have to say, though, one of the loveliest things about my wedding day was seeing and hearing how much my family love me. Could you send her a card telling her that you love her and are proud of her for how she's handled the disappointments and challenges of the last few months? I would have treasured that.

Trying81 · 13/09/2020 20:56

Thortful.com have cards for this, we got one for a family member with a bottle of prosecco.

waitforitwaitforit · 13/09/2020 21:01

Yes, you can now get cards. If they were going for dinner you could get them a bottle of wine for the table or something? Flowers or similar is a nice idea. My friend had to cancel her wedding and I think she got a few bouquets, bottles of fizz, cards, etc.

RustyBear · 13/09/2020 21:02

DD's was postponed from August to (hopefully) October, and then only the ceremony at a registrar's with the reception next year sometime.
She said she didn't really want a lot of fuss on the day, as it would only remind her of what she was missing.
I did give her a little papyrus scroll with a Ancient Egyptian wedding picture & with her name & her fiancé's in hieroglyphs, which I'd had done when we were in Egypt eighteen months ago. I'd intended to give it on the day, but this seemed like a nice time to do it.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 13/09/2020 21:03

My friend’s wedding was postponed. She went to the tip with her fiancé. Babysitting for a meal somewhere lovely seems about right.

Home42 · 13/09/2020 21:05

I think a bouquet sounds nice. It just marks the day for her, shows you remembered and you care!

Original poster
Starling57 · 13/09/2020 21:05

Thank you so much! Your replies are making me cry! I shall have a look at a card for them, too - that’s a lovely idea.
They are going for a meal (quite a fancy affair) and then spending the day doing as they please xx

OP posts:
toodlepipsqueaks · 13/09/2020 21:05

That's lovely of you, OP 😊 really thoughtful.

We had to postpone our wedding this year and my bridesmaids and colleagues both sent us some flowers and champagne to make the most of the day. We weren't expecting that and thought it was really kind. There are some good cards as others have said on websites like Thortful.

Best wishes to your daughter and her fiancé for the day. I hope they can have the wedding they want soon enough.

MintCassis · 13/09/2020 21:13

When ours was postponed and my parents got us a nice plant for the garden to mark the date our wedding should have been. A few friends gave us plants too so thinking of using the petals to make our own confetti next year.

Frannibananni · 13/09/2020 21:14

Flowers would be lovely

Original poster
Starling57 · 13/09/2020 21:15

Thank you so very much ❤️ Such kind words xx

OP posts:
Trousersareoverrated · 13/09/2020 21:15

Can you phone the restaurant and have a bottle of champagne or some cocktails waiting for them on arrival?

MissLucyEyelesbarrow · 13/09/2020 21:16

@TestingTestingWonTooFree

My friend’s wedding was postponed. She went to the tip with her fiancé. Babysitting for a meal somewhere lovely seems about right.
I would genuinely enjoy this - I love the tip Grin
Giraffey1 · 13/09/2020 21:17

My friends had to postpone their wedding, and some of her rellies clubbed together and bought them a lovely unwedding cake. They really enjoyed it!

Pogmella · 13/09/2020 21:17

We postponed ours and were really touched on what would have been the day when various packages and treats arrived from people keen to let us know they hadn’t forgotten about us. DH (we did manage a small ceremony later on!) got whisky from a friend and my sister sent fizz and flowers, plus we had lots of texts etc

LanternLights · 13/09/2020 21:17

Trousersareoverated beat me to it! It would be a lovely surprise to have a bottle of champagne pre-paid/organised at the restaurant.

Original poster
Starling57 · 13/09/2020 21:17

This is my first post on here so not sure how to tag or thank everyone individually or like a comment (!) but honestly, thank you all, so much. Lovely ideas that I will definitely use ❤️ xx

OP posts:
ireallyamthewalrus · 13/09/2020 21:18

I think champagne is too celebratory but flowers would be nice.