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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Wedding cancelled

45 replies

Starling57 · 13/09/2020 20:41

My daughters wedding has had to be cancelled due to Covid. It would have been this week. Does anyone have any suggestions as to what I could do/should do on the day? She’s spending the day with her partner which is great and we are looking after our grandson, but I just feel as her Mum I should do something? Get her a bouquet? A bottle of champagne etc? Or does that just ram it home that it’s been cancelled?
Thanks in advance for any ideas xx

OP posts:

daisychain01 · 13/09/2020 21:23

@Starling57

Thank you so much! Your replies are making me cry! I shall have a look at a card for them, too - that’s a lovely idea. They are going for a meal (quite a fancy affair) and then spending the day doing as they please xx

Moonpig.com is a lovely website for bespoke greetings cards. I sent a card to my bf for her birthday the other day, and it's brilliant - I was able to personalise it with our 'in-joke' and it arrived on time, although I did order it about 3 days in advance. It's all ordered and paid for online so hopefully will arrive in time for your daughter's date.

EarlGreyJenny · 13/09/2020 21:24

Sorry to be contrary but I'd rather have the champagne but it depends on her attitude which only you know... I think onwards and upwards

PanamaPattie · 13/09/2020 21:24

Why was the wedding postponed?

AutumnSuns · 13/09/2020 21:25

I think marking it is absolutely lovely, and flowers or chocolates sound nice.

Elbels · 13/09/2020 21:26

Champagne organised at the restaurant they're going to would be lovely.

I say that as someone who was also meant to be getting married this week and has booked a very nice dinner out on the day it was meant to be.

Mumtwoboys90 · 13/09/2020 21:34

You sound like a lovely mum. I think wine and chocolates or flowers is a lovely idea and just shows you are thinking of her

redcarbluecar · 13/09/2020 21:39

Flowers would be a lovely gesture, I think.

Sunshine0620 · 13/09/2020 21:39

We sent friends a bottle of gin and pair of gin glasses from a local brewery in the middle of lockdown with a note to enjoy their favourite tipple and we look forward to celebrating with them in the future... avoids the ‘celebration/not celebrating’ element of sending a bottle of fizz?! Also agree with PP that a note from mum acknowledging how crap it must be and how proud you are would for me personally be amazing x

yolio · 13/09/2020 21:46

What a lovely Mum you are, so thoughtful!

My neighbour's daughter had to postpone also and her parents (like you) took care of their son for the day and overnight, and paid for a pub lunch in a lovely spot near them on the day.

No drama, they were on their own and from what I know it worked out really well.

oakleaffy · 13/09/2020 21:49

@Starling57

Thank you so much for replying. Yes, it’s been postponed. My daughter has been so upset about it but I think has now come to terms with it. I don’t think she’d want a huge fuss but I just want her to know that we appreciate this would have been her big day. Maybe a little token something and a big hug!

That is a nice idea..I understand why you are concerned..Weddings, Births, Birthdays, Deaths, Funerals have all been impacted by this wretched virus.

BrimfulOfBaba · 13/09/2020 22:02

I have had a few friends with cancelled/postponed weddings and they've really appreciated gifts (bubbly, flowers) and messages. Just some acknowledgement that it's ok for them to feel bad about it all.

jayho · 13/09/2020 22:06

I had to postpone my wedding for entirely unrelated reasons many years ago. Several thoughtful friends sent champagne and flowers which we both found really touching. we spent the day/evening in bed, drinking champagne and feeling loved. If you can keep your grand child overnight, they'll probably be more than happy

cunningartificer · 13/09/2020 22:13

Same with my son’s wedding. They didn’t want a big fuss, but really appreciated little gifts eg flowers and bubbly that people sent. I sent a box of wedding biscuits from biscuiteers which they absolutely loved (eating their feelings 😁)

jessstan2 · 13/09/2020 22:23

You're a lovely mum.

Hopefully the wedding will take place before too long. People are still getting married.

thinkingaboutLangCleg · 13/09/2020 22:32

Bottle of wine and a “Thinking of you” card, saying you’re looking forward to the wedding whenever it happens. I’m sure they’ll appreciate your thought, but I hope they won’t be really unhappy as it’s only a delay.
Nice of you to think of this.

BluebellsGreenbells · 13/09/2020 22:36

Technically there’s no set etiquette! It’s a new situation for everyone!

Maybe some balloons, bathbombs, cake selection, chocolates and flowers, small personal gifts.

Jouleigh · 13/09/2020 22:39

Ours was as well, I think babysitting so they can have the day together is the loveliest think you can do.

I cancelled my a/l apart from the actual wedding day and we spent the day together. We got married a few weeks ago and it was still amazing.

You are very thoughtful and kind. Hope your daughter has a nice day regardless

NotEvenTheKing · 13/09/2020 23:19

My mum sent us a lovely lovely fancy food hamper for our would-be wedding day earlier in the summer. I was feeling quiet sad, but it really cheered me.

Original poster

Starling57 · 16/09/2020 08:41

Thanks so much to everyone that’s posted ❤️ I will let you know how it goes xx

OP posts:

anuffername · 16/09/2020 10:26

@PanamaPattie

Why was the wedding postponed?

Can you really, really not think of a reason that a wedding would be postponed at the moment?

OP you sound like a lovely mum. I hope they enjoy the day whatever you do.

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