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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to think this is caused by new baby?

37 replies

CursesAndMagic · 13/09/2020 14:27

My baby is now 14 months and has been an okay sleeper. Always consistently sleeps 12-13 hours a night with a few hiccups every now and again which usually sort themselves out. She self settles and will roll about before going to sleep on her own, settling herself if she wakes in the night.

She has started this week completely flat out protesting naps every time we do the nap time routine she will fight to get away and will cry and scream if she is put down in the cot she will scream for as long as she’s left for (I don’t leave her to cry for ages) a few minutes at most but when I go back to lay her down or give dummy she throws herself back against the cot and resists being held after that but is okay once she is in a different room. I’ve recently had a new baby but my older baby has adjusted quite well up to now just this issue in the past week.

Today I have tried on several occasions since 11:30 am to get her to nap after waking at 7:30. It is now 2:30 and she is in the cot screaming. She’s never resisted being settled before and has has food Calpol and everything already so it’s not hunger or pain that I can tell. What the he’ll do i do. It’s so hard with two of them especially when one is behaving like this. Am I unreasonable to think the new baby is causing the older to fight this much to resist w nap. So far she hasn’t done this for night time but I’m sure she will start soon.

OP posts:

Lockdownseperation · 13/09/2020 14:29

Is she still having two naps a day? She is prime age to only need one post lunch nap.

DaughterX · 13/09/2020 14:32

Not necessarily, i found with both my children their sleep and naps were awful around that age (more like 13 months). Just try and roll with it and nap when she's showing signs of being tired, the "awake time" between sleeps will naturally increase and i found some days they made no sense! Can you take her out in the pushchair? Must be really hard juggling two young ones

DaughterX · 13/09/2020 14:32

Yeah was going to say try moving to nap after lunch!

ScarMatty · 13/09/2020 14:34

Regression.
Not longer needs a nap.
Teething.

Could be a whole variety of things.

If baby hasn't gone to sleep after 15 mins or so, just try again later.

You really can't force a child to sleep

Original poster

CursesAndMagic · 13/09/2020 14:40

She has only been having one nap for about a month and a half now because she was fighting the second one so bad and adjusted quite well to it despite the length of naps being inconsistent 45mins to on occasions an hour and a half. I’ve tried her about 5 time’s since 11:30 this morning and as soon as I settle her with our usual song she’s screaming and when I put her down she’s screaming too. I dread to think what the neighbours are thinking. She’s always had a nap in the day even if it was 20 mins that’s been the worst day but today it’s looking like a no nap day. I dread to think what she will be like for bed later after no nap. It’s so hard juggling the babies and their needs but I wouldn’t change it for the world just wish the older one would nap because she’s so cranky. I’ve took off her zipadee zip (a kind of blanket with arms that she will 100% not sleep without and I’ve put a small nightlight on. She isn’t screaming as much but is standing up starring at the monitor that attaches to the camera. I can’t keep having the whole day revolve around her naps. What if she has no naps and won’t go to bed?

OP posts:

MitziK · 13/09/2020 14:59

It's normal for tots to not need a morning nap - mine switched from two naps to one around 1pm at the same age, which she kept to reliably until she went to Nursery (afternoon session) aged 3.

It's not the new baby, it's just that she doesn't need a nap at 11am any more and she's pissed off/upset that you've been putting her to bed repeatedly when she wasn't tired.

Try accepting today has been rough and start again tomorrow with the little one going for naps as normal and your older one getting to have some one on one time with you, then trying for her single nap at 1pm after some lunch.

Higgeldypiggeldy35 · 13/09/2020 15:00

Could be a development leap. If she hasn't gone off within half an hour I'd give up and take her for a walk. It'll probably only last a few days to a week and then she'll revert back. My son went through all sorts of hiccups and they were always temporary. She's probably ready to only have one nap after lunch now. Has she had an energetic morning? I always try and get out for a walk/to the park to wear out my son at least once a day

Thesearmsofmine · 13/09/2020 15:06

It sounds quite standard really. My DC has all dropped their daytime naps by 18 months or so and certainly wouldn’t have been having one before lunch. If she doesn’t want to sleep then try a quiet cuddle on the sofa instead, she might drop off or she might not. You must remember that she is still a baby herself.

Original poster

CursesAndMagic · 13/09/2020 15:09

She doesn’t have a morning nap. She has one nap a day usually. She doesn’t have two naps. Hasn’t for weeks. I took her for a walk and tried her again around 2om and had the same reaction. Screaming and screaming but I can see she’s very tired. It’s been about 5-8 weeks of her only having one nap.

OP posts:

Leaannb · 13/09/2020 15:10

She is outgrowing her naps. Really common at that age

Original poster

CursesAndMagic · 13/09/2020 15:12

No naps though? She’s only 14 months

OP posts:

PaternosterLoft · 13/09/2020 15:25

I thought all DC had naps until 3.5 years old and anyone that couldn't get their child to map was just not trying.... until I had DC3 who was done with sleeping during the day at 12 months

EThreepwood · 13/09/2020 15:25

DD2 stopped having naps at 15 months

WhatWouldYouDoWhatWouldJesusDo · 13/09/2020 15:28

My ds dropped his nap really early, I just had to adapt and we'd have quiet time and a cuddle whilst DD had her nap.......DD kept her nap until she was 6 and would often have 3 hour stretches.

So I'd stop trying to force a nap but I'd cosy up with a film or something. ......you might find she dozes off too.

WhatWouldYouDoWhatWouldJesusDo · 13/09/2020 15:30

Regarding bed time she will start resisting if she starts associating her cot with an ordeal.

Bufferingkisses · 13/09/2020 15:32

Mine all dropped naps really young too. Some just do. I tried to introduce "down time" in the middle of the day so that, if they were tired, they could chill and recover a bit so post lunch book reading time, sometimes screen time for half an hour. Just something to let them recharge. Stopping the fight to nap really helped all of us!

Whatruthinking · 13/09/2020 15:33

My dd was the same I’m afraid. No naps during the day for her. It was totally exhausting but she just wouldn’t nap. Only slept at night. That’s something to be grateful for I guess!

FortniteBoysMum · 13/09/2020 15:34

For one nap a day your trying too early. I would wait until about 1pm. Your baby is not tired enough to sleep at half 11 after only waking for about 4 hours after 12 hours sleep. Try a later sleep time.

Menora · 13/09/2020 15:34

My DD2 also stopped naps weirdly early and suddenly but did struggle to make it though dinner time! I had to make her bedtime about 6.30pm or 6 as she couldn’t stay awake longer. DD1 still napped at 3yo

UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme · 13/09/2020 15:38

Is she walking? The two of mine who actually slept fought it and were unsettled for a while before starting to walk.

It could be the baby but if it is you just have to ride it out. One of mine slept baby when we moved house when she was not much older than yours - they can be aware of and unsettled by change although they don't really understand why.

My eldest was unsettled before the 2ndceas born just before she turned two but slept wonderfully once he was home - I think unconsciously she was worried about impending change and relieved once it was done and all alright, though obviously she couldn't articulate that.

I'd advise wearing the newborn in a sling and just carrying on with your older baby's normal routine to avoid jealously or the older baby feeling replaced or less treasured - that's what worked for us anyway, and dc2 was very content next to my body all the time and dc1's name was his first word!

Original poster

CursesAndMagic · 13/09/2020 15:45

Yeah she’s walking properly has been for a few weeks so I’m not sure that’s affecting it. Today’s the first day she hasn’t napped at all so naturally I’m anxious about it for bedtime haha. Her bedtime is usually 6:30-7

OP posts:

Crockof · 13/09/2020 15:55

I'd bring bedtime forward if she hasn't napped at all so try 6/6.30

jessstan2 · 13/09/2020 16:26

If she is objecting to being 'put down' for a nap, she doesn't want a nap. She will let you know if she does.

Why does she have Calpol?

TwoStepsAhead34 · 13/09/2020 16:26

Mine are 14 months apart.
They used to take turns - eldest did protest in the beginning about going for a nap, but I just kept putting her down without any talk or looking in the eye.
They started to take turns - baby slept twice eldest had a nap between babys naps. Once both were older, baby just went down with eldest and I had a nap with them!

Devlesko · 13/09/2020 16:32

Maybe she's growing out of naps, some don't nap at all, I had two like this and one that would sleep all day if you left him.

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