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Original poster

To hand in my notice after this treatment from new boss?

123 replies

flowerlessorchid · 13/09/2020 12:12

To set the scene (this is going to be long sorry!)- I've been at my current employer for 18 months, single parent working full time with a contract that states I work 9:30am-5pm with a half hour lunch, which fits in with my commute time (approx 40 mins each way) and after school club. Small public sector employer and I work in a safety role so as you can imagine I've been rushed off my feet since March.

Employer decided to review staffing during Covid, and offered voluntary redundancy, which my boss (who was the only other safety professional in the company) took. So now I'm working alone. An already high workload has now exploded as the work is still there, and I've been working much longer hours to keep up.

The working week just past has been a particularly bad one. DC now at school so I've been having to factor in the school run to my day. Daily meetings I have to attend (with the senior exec who need my guidance) are being put in before my contracted hours start, which is difficult but manageable when I'm WFH. My new temporary boss knows this and agreed I would come into the office Mondays & Thursdays and WFH the rest of the time. WFH without the commute is the only reason I've been able to put in the hours I am at the moment.

New boss is the Finance director, who I have been getting along with until now. He is a very old school, older man who has never married and has no kids (this is relevant). He has been supportive but doesn't understand my job and can't really direct me. On Wednesday he pulls me into a piece of work that is extremely high level strategic policy on Covid-19 (I'm an officer level so not even management and also paid as such). This piece of work should have been done months ago but hasn't as it doesn't fall into anyone's remit, now its suddenly become urgent.

So I spent hours and hours on this piece of work on top of my usual workload, trying to work out what was actually needed, sending drafts to my boss for his comments and involving others where I could. Everyone is insanely busy right now so that took time too. It gets to Friday when the document has to be sent externally and in the afternoon when I thought it would be ready to go suddenly the senior exec aren't happy with it. Boss and me are called into a meeting 4-5pm with the senior exec who rips the document apart.

But what was the final straw for me was after this meeting when my boss turns on me. He told me I was leading on this work so why don't I have all the answers. He demanded to know when I was going to be back in the office full time. I said I could start coming back in full time if required to which he only said 'well today would have been a good day to come in'. I pointed out that it was his suggestion I come in on the days I have. (And to be honest me not being on site would have made no difference to the outcome of this document, if anything I have less time to concentrate on site as people are always coming to my office for things).

So it's 5pm and I'm still working on this document, he has 'helpfully' highlighted the sections that need changing. I make changes, send it back to him. He thinks more changes are needed. It's now 5:30pm and I said to him I have to go and get my DC from after school club. He kicked off again, complaining that he wanted to leave the office early today as he has a dinner night, and said to me 'can't someone else go get your children?'. I had to point out to him that I'm a single parent (he knows this) and school are only permitting parents to collect at the moment as we are in the middle of a pandemic. He was very cross, told me to go do the school run and we would catch up again at 6pm when I'm back home. So I picked up the kids, got home, spent another 20 minutes or so making the final changes, rang him at about 6:15pm, document signed off and sent. Job done.

I'm exhausted and frazzled as it is, was almost in tears (unusual for me) and have spent most of the weekend worried about what next week brings. With the meetings being put in my diary before my usual hours which I have to attend as I'm the only person who can advise the senior exec, and now being told I have to come on site every day I'm going to have to reduce my working hours to my normal level to factor in my commute, or work evenings once I get home.

I've already spoken to a couple of colleagues about what happened and how I now want to hand in my notice as this isn't sustainable, to be told I can't as there is no-one else to do my job, and apparently my hard work is appreciated. We have no union, HR are nice but ineffective, and if I hand my notice in anyway I can't guarantee I will find another job that will give me the flexibility I need r.e. the school run. I've been told by HR to expect a new job description and a permanent boss but they need to hire first.

I don't know what to do but I'm dreading work tomorrow and the demands starting again. Do I just throw in the towel and hand my notice in? Sad

OP posts:
fatgirlslimmer · 13/09/2020 13:24

Sometimes it’s better to have a rep from offsite, they’re not in bed with the managers.

SmudgeButt · 13/09/2020 13:26

I'm all for writing it down in a letter to the carpy boss about how bad this situation was for you. Try to keep all emotion out of it.

Tell him you didn't appreciate his attitude towards you and the work you were doing (not that you were upset and in tears). Point out the obvious that your work load has increased as has the level of responsibility since the other person took redundancy. also point out that your time in the office and WFH had been agreed for a reason and that it benefited the company as not having to commute gave you extra time to do the work. State that you would be happy to go back to working full time in the office "but obviously that means I will have to stick strictly to the agreed hours".

Frankly I wouldn't mention anything about your DC or needing to do school runs. that is immaterial from a business point of view. (obviously very material to you)

And end with a "I hope we can put this behind us and go back to me doing the job I was hired to do. but if you don't think this will work for you and the business I would be very happy to enter into discussions on being given remuneration for the work I am currently being asked to cover as well as the increase in hours."

Ending it like that puts the ball in his court - if he doesn't want you there he can say so and pay the price to get rid of you. There's no reason you should leave an otherwise decent job just because he was being a major twonk.

BlueJava · 13/09/2020 13:31

I'd consider two things here:

  1. I think you'd be crazy to hand your notice in without a job to go to by the way - just start applying for other roles asap. But.... before you do that:
  2. As bad as it is you may be better of sticking this out if you want to rise up the ladder - you are now covering the work of the guy that took redundancy so leverage it in terms of title and pay.

I now want to hand in my notice ..... to be told I can't as there is no-one else to do my job
Irrelevant, anyone can can hand their notice in, work it and leave. They only have a contract with you and either side can break it as per the agreement.

Aridane · 13/09/2020 13:32

What @SmudgeButt said

And don’t resign, get signed off sick

And join a union now

BeansMeansWines · 13/09/2020 13:32

Can you also join a union? Even if your employer doesn’t recognise it.

As far as I’ve seen, any mention of the union and people start being a bit more considered in their requests, especially for things that go beyond
Your contract.

I agree with other comments about sticking to the factual. Refer to your contract. Tell your boss that x is not in your contract, but you’d like to be accommodating so let’s see if there’s a solution that works

GU24Mum · 13/09/2020 13:32

You need to be able to do your contracted hours and I'm assuming that that was fine before lockdown?

If they want you to do more hours than beforehand and you've been able to do that if you are WFH, suggest you say remind them of your hours but offer to attend an earlier meeting on certain days (if you'd like to do so), if you can WFH that day.

Don't offer to leave - if it gets worse, I'd contact HR and say that there seems to be some confusion in the department about your hours and get them to sort it out with your team.

You also need to shout louder if you have something dumped on you and then get called out for delays which aren't your making.

Original poster
flowerlessorchid · 13/09/2020 13:33

Thank you to everyone who has given pointers on what to put in writing, that's very helpful. It so happens that I have a meeting with the boss tomorrow afternoon that would be perfect timing wise to have a discussion with him. I will probably need to have the same discussion with HR.

OP posts:
Iwonder08 · 13/09/2020 13:33

OP, I feel for you. Int he current climate if I were you I would get CV updated and look for another job, but not resign until you get another job which is better for you.
It is fairly common to accept overtime from time to time, but it should be appreciated.
You have finished the doc, well done. Now it is a good time to calm down and draft a politely worded email to your boss stating the working pattern according to your contract and the notice you require for overtime just to manage expectations from both sides.
Don't let one office prick put you in the situation of being unemployed

UniversalAunt · 13/09/2020 13:34

‘ I've already spoken to a couple of colleagues about what happened and how I now want to hand in my notice as this isn't sustainable, to be told I can't as there is no-one else to do my job, and apparently my hard work is appreciated. ’

Beg pardon?
You can do as you please, BUT you are over worked, stressed & prolly tired - not the best conditions under which to make a significant decision. So take a deep breath & work to make this extraordinary situation work to your favour.

You need employment that matches your life choices & childcare needs, the employer needs your skills, experience, commitment & time.

Bridecilla · 13/09/2020 13:34

Apply for the boss job!

Respond to the ridiculous requests for your time with "this does not fall within my remit as an officer. I am willing to review my contract and salary in a meeting at a time convenient to everyone involved "

fatgirlslimmer · 13/09/2020 13:37

As a pp said make your meeting factual not emotional, good luck.

SarahBellam · 13/09/2020 13:40

Don’t go and get signed off sick unless you’re actually sick. It does nothing but kick the problem down the road and increases the number of sick days on your record. You’ve said you had previously got along well with him, so go and have a chat with him like a grown up. Arrange an appointment in his diary called something like H&S project debrief. List the key points of what you’ve told us:

  1. The job you are doing is above your pay grade. That the company made someone redundant when they shouldn’t have - the work was still there to do. You have tried to subsume most of the higher responsibilities into your own role but nobody has discussed this with you, you have received no training, and you are now being asked to work hours which you never agreed to and carry our duties which were never part of the job description. You are being asked to attend meetings outside your working hours.

Before you go into the meeting think carefully about what you want to get out of it, and what would be acceptable to you. I don’t think you should hand in your notice but I do think you need to make your boundaries clearer - where there is room for negotiation be flexible but put your foot down about what you can and can’t do.

SarahBellam · 13/09/2020 13:42

Cross post - well done 😊

Babyroobs · 13/09/2020 13:43

@SarahBellam

Don’t go and get signed off sick unless you’re actually sick. It does nothing but kick the problem down the road and increases the number of sick days on your record. You’ve said you had previously got along well with him, so go and have a chat with him like a grown up. Arrange an appointment in his diary called something like H&S project debrief. List the key points of what you’ve told us:
  1. The job you are doing is above your pay grade. That the company made someone redundant when they shouldn’t have - the work was still there to do. You have tried to subsume most of the higher responsibilities into your own role but nobody has discussed this with you, you have received no training, and you are now being asked to work hours which you never agreed to and carry our duties which were never part of the job description. You are being asked to attend meetings outside your working hours.

Before you go into the meeting think carefully about what you want to get out of it, and what would be acceptable to you. I don’t think you should hand in your notice but I do think you need to make your boundaries clearer - where there is room for negotiation be flexible but put your foot down about what you can and can’t do.

Totally agree about the going off sick. I see this constantly banded about as a solution to work issues but it will back fire when looking for a new job and they ask for the number of sick days taken off in the past year. Fine if genuinely so stressed you can't work.
Ellmau · 13/09/2020 13:44

I now want to hand in my notice as this isn't sustainable, to be told I can't as there is no-one else to do my job

Well, that's their problem, isn't it?

Having said that, DO NOT resign until you have another job. But start looking now, seriously.

And don't work more than your scheduled hours. If you can't do your ex boss's job as well as your own in one person's hours, again, that's management's problem. If you have too much to do, as your line manager what to prioritise (and say you need an assistant?)

areallthenamesusedup · 13/09/2020 13:45

Read it all and didn't want to read and run.

First of all Flowers

Sounds like Friday was a rubbish day for all concerned.

There are two issues here:

  1. massive increase in your job role and responsibility without adequate supervision or training

  2. child care

Talk to your boss but they are two separate issues.

But first you have to decide if you want to do "new" job. If you do, then work with him as to how you are going to get trained up, paid etc etc. Or do you want your "old' job. If so, is it still possible under new structure.

But do not conflate the two issues. They are separate.

Arrange a time when you feel able to talk to him and he has proper time to sort things. Do not expect to be able to get it all resolved in one meeting. Start the conversation.

(As an aside, do keep notes as to conversations because my guess is they are about to make some massive mistakes about sex discrimination but that is an aside. You really do not want to have to be going down that route unless you really have to.)

If you want to keep working there then hopefully you can work out a solution jointly. But at the start of the week when you are all fresh not on a Friday night after a horrible day for everyone.

Good luck, OP.

SmudgeButt · 13/09/2020 13:48

@flowerlessorchid
If you have a meeting with your boss tomorrow write out a statement today that you can read out in the meeting. That way you can ensure you cover what needs to be said without getting flustered and you can continue reading it even if he decides to interrupt 10 times. (as can happen)

And be prepared to either record the meeting or take notes to ensure any points made are documented. Make him repeat things if necessary to ensure you get them correct. Afterwards you may want to type up your notes and give him a copy to ensure he doesn't forget what was discussed and agreed. Even if it's something as simply as him apologising for having had a bad day you can send him an email after thanking him for his apology.

Wakemeupwhenthisisover · 13/09/2020 13:49

Your a single parent. Don’t quit your job. That’s madness. Stick it out and find a new job.

Islathepaella · 13/09/2020 13:50

but it will back fire when looking for a new job and they ask for the number of sick days taken off in the past year.

I've worked in HR for over 10 years and I've seen ONE very small employer complete a reference with no of sick days a person had taken. Companies really do not send that info anymore. You receive the very basic references these days I.e job title, how long they worked there, department and reason for leaving.

Babyroobs · 13/09/2020 13:52

@Islathepaella

but it will back fire when looking for a new job and they ask for the number of sick days taken off in the past year.

I've worked in HR for over 10 years and I've seen ONE very small employer complete a reference with no of sick days a person had taken. Companies really do not send that info anymore. You receive the very basic references these days I.e job title, how long they worked there, department and reason for leaving.

Ok well the past few jobs I've applied for once I've been accepted for the job they have all asked that !
StyleandBeautyfail · 13/09/2020 13:53

@ButteryPuffin

double booking of meetings is fairly common - this is a workplace culture thing.

You will need to start pushing back on this, OP. Point out you can't be in two places at once. Cut back to what you can do in your contracted hours. And get all this on record with HR. If you just keep working silly hours to get more done, they won't intervene because you've made it your problem, not theirs.

I dont understand this. No need to point out you cant be in 2 places at once- just decline when the calendar invite comes through, simple explanation.
Islathepaella · 13/09/2020 14:02

@Babyroobs
Okay by the sounds of it the companies you've applied to have asked you for that info and you've answered it. Your employer(s) wouldn't clarify that information to them.

Still don't understand you scare mongering on here about people taking sick days and this cropping up when they apply for a new job.

Boredbumhead · 13/09/2020 14:06

Two things jumped out. They made you the fall guy for their late and incomplete planning. Time to erect some firm boundaries about work life balance and speak out about their crappy planning and workload planning. Don't hand your notice in yet but certainly scout around for new work. Your boss sounds a bully.

Boredbumhead · 13/09/2020 14:09

Also pay is important. Sounds like theyve increased your job role without a corresponding increase in pay. I would be asking them about this.

whatisforteamum · 13/09/2020 14:22

It sounds like a bad day tbh.I think lots of us have had them during or after the whole corona virus situation.I have taken on more responsibility over the last year for no extra pay as we are deemed lucky to have jobs.
I remember being a working parent and all that needed to be juggled.Sometimes I didn't know what to do for the best.I would speak to my boss and nip this in the bud from happening again.Good luck.