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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be annoyed with this request from my generous step-sis

60 replies

Overeasylikesunday · 13/09/2020 02:42

My step-sister, who I'm very close with, asked me to watch her new puppy so she could go somewhere

I'm now up with the puppy in the early hours of the morning. Her outing was in no way required. It wasn't something urgent or unavoidable. It was quite a self-indulgent request on her part.

The 'catch' is that I'm recovering from a sports injury that left me hospitalised. Although I'm home and well on the road to recovery, it's causing me a ton of sleeping trouble so being up in the early hours dealing with the pup is rough.

I know without a shadow of a doubt she'd do the same for me though (I'd just never ask!!!) She does lots of me without being asked. We help each other out all the time. She's better at asking for favours than I am but she's also probably more helpful and thoughtful than I am. I'm not as proactively generous as she is but I also rarely ask her for anything.

I didn't agree to help her out to be a martyr. I agreed because she'd go to the ends of the earth for me, which made it really hard to say no.

I'm exhausted though. I work Sundays and I desperately need some sleep. When I agreed to help her out, I was starting to recover and I hadn't anticipated the sleeping trouble, but honestly I've got steam coming out of my ears with anger right now.

I'm trying to work out whether the right approach is just to smile and say 'no problem' or whether it's ok to be a bit irritated and to express this when I see her.

I never speak up for myself but I am really irritated. She knew I'd had a difficult time sleeping and been in pain and her plans could've easily been postponed until a later week so her selfishness is grating on me.

OP posts:
QueenOfPain · 13/09/2020 02:46

I think your fatigue is making you irrational. If there was no chance of the puppy needing attention overnight she wouldn’t have needed someone to stay in with him.

At the end of the day, you agreed to do it, what come back do you want now?

Finfintytint · 13/09/2020 02:47

It’s not her selfishness that’s irritating you it’s the realisation that you can’t say no to people.

TownHallDesigner · 13/09/2020 02:48

What did you think caring for a new puppy overnight would involve?

I sympathise with your lack of sleep but can’t understand why you agreed in the first place?

Original poster
Overeasylikesunday · 13/09/2020 02:52

You're all right. I'm cross with myself for not saying no. I'm grumpy and sleepy and should've manned up and said no.

OP posts:
eaglejulesk · 13/09/2020 02:56

Why would you be annoyed by her request - you could have said no.

allthesharks · 13/09/2020 03:01

You could have said no. She's not wrong for asking. Perhaps you didn't realise what was involved and perhaps she didn't realise that you didn't and weren't happy with it.

ulanbatorismynextstop · 13/09/2020 03:03

You should have just said no, it's unfair to blame your step sis

TakeItSIeazy · 13/09/2020 03:06

Can't you just take it to bed with you?!
thinks co-sleeping is the answer to everything
knows nothing about puppies

TakeItSIeazy · 13/09/2020 03:08

I am currently dozing on the sofa - will it not settle if wrapped in a towel/blankie and stroked whilst laying in the crook of your arm/horizontally across your boobs?
still confusing puppies and babies

Coyoacan · 13/09/2020 03:15

And I think you are very lucky to have such a good relationship with your step-sister, who sounds lovely, like yourself. Good luck with the assertiveness.

katy1213 · 13/09/2020 03:31

Lock it in the kitchen and go to bed. It'll survive.

Emeraldshamrock · 13/09/2020 03:41

Can't you just take it to bed with you?
I thought the same thing.
Say no to the next request puppies are as disruptive as newborns at least you can put a newborn on your breast to settle them.

PrimeraVez · 13/09/2020 03:54

I had a similar-ish issue last year. My v v v good friend who would do anything for anyone asked me to babysit her 3 year old so her and her DH could go on an extremely rare night out to a show they were both desperate to see.

It was the night before my DS’s third birthday but happily said yes. They ended up coming home around 3am - show over ran, car park was jammed, stopped at the all night garage etc to get a snack on the way home etc etc. They thanked me effusively for babysitting but at no point acknowledged how late it was (and how much later it was then we had discussed before they went out) or how they felt bad I would be tired for the next day.

I was up at 5.30am the next morning with an over excited birthday boy and yawned my way through hosting his birthday party (which my friend attended with her daughter!)

I silently fumed about it at first but as I say, she is such a good friend to me and has helped me out many times, I’ve just written it off as a random rare moment of thoughtlessness on her part.

Hope you got some sleep!

Aquamarine1029 · 13/09/2020 03:57

Gather the puppy, put it on a couple of towels and cuddle it in bed. It will soon fall asleep. And remember that "no" is a complete sentence.

Irisheyesrsmiling · 13/09/2020 04:13

To me this stuff is just part of friendship and being a member of a family, especially when someone will go to the ends of the earth for you. I get it, you are tired, and want to learn to say no, but honestly it's 1 night of not great sleep due to puppy? Not terrible, something you will recover from. Try to just focus on how it was nice to do something for her for a change. You both sound like nice people. Hope you can get some rest and an early night.

peachypetals · 13/09/2020 04:22

You said yes, you didn’t have to.

Florencex · 13/09/2020 04:38

You should not be irritated with your step sister nor say anything to her, she has done nothing wrong. You can be irritated with yourself if you want. But you agreed to this and didn’t have to, young puppies need attention through the night.

Please don’t take it to bed with you, they pee every few hours when young and it is probably not house trained yet. 🙂

Howallergic · 13/09/2020 04:38

I'm with Katy on this one.

Florencex · 13/09/2020 04:42

@Howallergic

I'm with Katy on this one.
Cruel.
Nandocushion · 13/09/2020 04:57

JFC do not take the puppy to bed with you!! Put it in a storage room/bathroom/whatever, put down water and snacks, shut and lock the door and put in earplugs. I hope you don't have attached neighbours. Give it back tomorrow and never ever ever ever agree to deal with a puppy for any reason whatsoever again! Hell.

Durgasarrow · 13/09/2020 04:58

I think it is hard to say no when someone asks for something. I think SIL is being insensitive.

TitsOutForHarambe · 13/09/2020 05:31

Your step sister has done nothing wrong. You should have just said no.

Irisheyesrsmiling · 13/09/2020 05:35

Also I feel quite bad for puppy, it will be scared. Personally I'd bring it into bed with me and prioritize sleep for me & feeling content and not anxious for puppy. New environments can really create fear for them.

PinkPosyPetals · 13/09/2020 06:11

Give puppy a blanket, put a radio on quietly, and go back to bed

PinkPosyPetals · 13/09/2020 06:12

Don’t take puppy to your bed

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