How do people relax in huge houses?

[mrsbeeton999]

It’s probably something I’ll never need to worry about but I’ve just been looking at a bit of property porn - huge houses with indoor pool, gym, cinema room. I think I’d never be able to have a relaxing swim in the basement or shut myself in the cinema room as I’d be worried about security in the rest of the house. In my house I can pretty much see all the house from the lounge and it’s easy to check front and back door are locked. I know some people have staff but not everyone in these houses would. I don’t think I’d feel confident swimming or watching a film if I was home alone.

I've been in big houses with the best security systems, guard dogs and security guards patrolling and I still couldn't relax for a second. It's why I'll never do it again and will only ever have a small house.

I have a big long house but live in a safe area.

Used to live in a big house. One night the burglar alarm went off. I didn't even wake up! My two DDs came and woke me, very scared. Turned it off and did tour of the ground floor but thought I heard a noise down in the cellar and didn't fancy exploring down there. Ex-H away on business so only the three if us there. Rang local constabulary who weren't very helpful and said they'd try and get someone round but didn't know when. Then DD1 remembered the dad of one of her classmates was CO of the army base just outside village so grabbed school telephone directory and rang. Apologised profusely for unsocial hour but he was charming and said he quite understood and to think no more of it. Around 10 minutes later lovely squaddie complete with firearm was at the door. And did a complete rekky of the whole place including the cellar. We thanked him profusely and he left. Half an hour later we were on our way back up to bed having had some cocoa when there was a knock on the front door. Plod had finally arrived bless him! We're woefully under served by the police force in the countryside.
Funniest thing was, I sleep so deeply that and was so disorientated, on first waking I went to get my DS out of his room, the girls I could see but where was he? On finding his room empty I panicked he'd been kidnapped until DD1 then aged 10, pointed out that he was away at school and besides, she observed dryly, a kidnapper would hardly have made the bed!

I lived in a massive house as a child and really struggled when I got to university and you could hear the noise of other people from inside my room. It really unsettled me!

And my mum always lived in huge houses and just always used to look so awkward when she came to my first house I bought (a normal 3 bed semi) and I can tell even our 5 bed house she finds unsettling small. It doesn't seem to be a snobbery thing with her, just.genuinely she isn't used to small (by her standard) rooms . I never worry about burglars at their house but it is the "large but scruffy" type so we always assumed the burglars would take one look and decide it had already been burgled

Wouldn't bother me at all (as it's anxiety specific) and that's odd considering how much Midsomer Murders I've watched.

The solution is alarms that are programmed for different sections. Eg we have an alarm on for upstairs when we are asleep downstairs, and vice versa. We could set up infinite combos for this I theory. The alarm does really make you feel very secure so there is nothing to worry about!

I lived in a big house previously. The alarm was at the top of the stairs down to the cellar. It used to freak me out opening the cellar door to switch it off when I came home alone. I much prefer living in a normal size house with less hiding places.

Being posh, I grew up in a big house. 14 bedrooms type big. Big garden & grounds. Middle of nowhere.

My parents never locked the door when they were in.

We had an alarm- not only a basic one. But the house was shabby with very little worth anything at all. Very ancient falling apart cars. I don't think we'd have been much of a target.

We had dogs- at one point 4 dogs- which were very noisy.

It was very quiet at nights- though the house creaked.

Very relaxing place to be- because my parents made it that way. Apart from when it was cold. Then it was COLD.

I always think the home cinema room is a weird waste of a room. I'd rather stretch out on a massive sofa in the lounge to watch a film.

I live in one of these fêted low crime semi-suburban areas, my back door is often wide open all day when I am out so the hound can come and go. It's only a four bed detached though, not some rambling pile and any intruder would have to squish themselves into a very small space indeed to remain undetected on my return, it's quite a small house. Hound would love them to death though which might give it away.

I live in a fairly large five bed house and it’s in quite a big plot with woodland. When we first moved in I did feel a bit freaked out by the silence and the darkness, but now feel it’s magical. The stars shine really brightly in the darkness and because it’s tucked away nobody knows it’s here, so I don’t worry too much about security. It’s a fixer upper so probably doesn’t look like there’s anything to expensive here, and to be fair there isn’t.

Plus having two big labradors helps!

OP you sound paranoid! Don’t you ever relax?

Being able to see an intruder doesn’t protect you.

I’d just have standard security (front and back doors) and enjoy lording it up in my private sauna after removing all my makeup in my dressing room and before heading to the pool for a few laps.

Chill!

I think the big houses thing is a red herring. Mn regularly features posts from women who are petrified to be in the house alone at night when their spouses or partners are away, and some people seem to view this as normal enough to swap tips about leaving the tv on all night etc. And this seems to involve women living semis and flats in urban and suburban areas, not solitary rural mansions.

I would have no problem swimming in my own pool 🤔

My home is much larger than average. We have gates and an alarm system. We also have high value cars so sometimes I do fear that we might be the target of a planned attack, So we are aware, but apart from my jewellery that I wear all the time we domy have anything in our home that isn’t excessively valuable or different to anybody living in a small home.

We also get deliveries without problems

I love being home alone, the peace and quiet, just sitting in the sun with a cup of tea ( thanks to Covid that’s now a distant memory)

Tbh my youngest has just moved to a small flat in London and has just been describing an altercation in the street with a weirdo - now that has scared me shitless !

We live in a large house (over 6000 sq ft), different staircases etc,. Cannot hear what is going on downstairs when upstairs but it is home and i never feel nervous. It’s a very old house too, nearly 600 years, but happily sleep here alone - although to do have a couple of big barky dogs 😉

I wouldn't feel safe. Was watching a film yesterday with someone secretly living in a house without the owners realising

When I first moved into my current house I felt that way. It's big and from the top floor I can't hear anything that's going on downstairs. My biggest fear was for my kids because they're bedrooms were on the floor beneath mine. With a bit. I've relaxed about it a bit now. With a bit of renovation, we're all together now on the top floor. I also have a dog with a big bark and double locks on the back gate. It bothers me much less.

I live in quite a big house now and I never worry but it is in London and there is always something going on.

My parents live somewhere quite big and dark I have got spooked by fruit falling off a tree outside because it was quiet.
Once when I was staying there and they had gone out, left the gate open, and I was in bed, the alarm went off and I was terrified. The security company called and I said to come round immediately because it suggested there was something going on in the garage. When the security company arrived a few minutes later, I literally threw myself into the arms of a big burly fellow forgetting that I was in just my vest and pants, anyway it turned out my parents had bought some rice in bulk and were storing it in the garage, a rat had got into it and set off the alarm. I felt so silly.

I always think this and it ruins my lotto fantasies!! But then I get scared of murderers and rapists whenever I am in the house alone/running/walking alone/generally, so it would probably make little difference! I worked in a prison for 15 years and it’s definitely tarnished my thought processes!

@Nottherealslimshady

I wouldn't feel safe. Was watching a film yesterday with someone secretly living in a house without the owners realising

This actually happened to me when I was a student! It wasn't anything sinister - it was an ex-student who still had a key and didn't have anywhere to stay, But it was still quite freaky to realise he had been there for weeks - and it wasn't even a big house - it was a 3 bed terrace that had been adapted to cram in as many students as possible.

I shared with 6 other people and, with so many comings and goings, it was easy for the intruder to get away with it: no one noticed a bit of extra noise. He was sleeping in a walk-in cupboard.

Thinking it about it, this may be why I always have to have my bedroom door locked when DH is away!

People do feel safe until that day, masked intruders grab them out of bed, tie them up and demand to know where the safe is....

Friends of mine, felt safe for 40 years.
. Anyway. I'd never buy a large house.

People in huge houses tend to live out of one room anyway usually a kitchen diner with sofa!

Arf, the Burley 😂😂.

I wouldn't be able to trust alarm companies either. Nor their workers. Inside jobs etc. Even Tamara Eccleston had inside job

I’ve never considered any of your worries! I might now, thanks

We live in a large house and we’re quite isolated. I enjoy the peace and the space. I’ve always felt safe.
Amongst other security measures we have a big soppy dog. He got a big deep bark that would scare most people away.

You get an alarm system that works for you!