Turn your bloody phone off!

[Poptart4]

Ok so this is kind of a TAAT.

Theres a thread about an op being upset that her DSD's mam had text her husband at 2am to change childcare plans. The op was upset that the text woke them up.

I really think that if you dont want someone to call or text you at certain times then it's up to you to turn your bloody phone off! I really cant stand people who complain when someone tries to contact them at inconvenient moments.

A friend of mine (let's call her A) was once fuming because her other friend (lets call her B) had called her in the middle of a funeral. She was embarrassed because the whole church turned and looked at her. A was so angry with B for calling her that they had a falling out for awhile. Keep in mind that B had no idea A was at a funeral.

In my opinion A had no right to be angry at B and should have turned her phone off for the funeral.

A should definitely have had her phone off or on silent.

If B knew A was at a funeral and the call was not essential, of course they were being rude too, but essentially the responsibility lies with the attendee to make sure their phone won't cause a disturbance.

I can understand that sending a text, which nowadays people tend to expect a quick reply to, at 2am may be rude, but I don't agree for emails. Nobody sends really urgent news by email so in my opinion it's perfectly acceptable to send a late email not expecting an immediate response. If people don't want to be disturbed they should turn their email notifications off or to silent.

Calling at 2am is not acceptable unless it is an emergency. But I am struggling to see the fuss over a text message, she sent it to be read in the morning first thing, it is no different to getting an overnight email.

@EasternDailyStress

Do people not have landlines any more? I leave my phone downstairs at night, knowing that any urgent calls will come through the house phone.

Not really. What for? 1 phone is enough for me. Most people I know don't have landlines anymore

Until Covid19 DH worked all over the world. He only phoned to chat at time’s convenient to me and DC. But would text/WhatsApp at convenient times for him. DND meant I didn’t get disturbed and could respond at my convenience - which is the point of a text!
Same for friends in other continents. You cannot expect to know what the recipient is doing or where they are at any time, so we all really need to take responsibility and set our incoming messages to an appropriate setting for our location.
That’s why it’s entirely my fault when I miss a message because I’ve left my phone on silent and in my bag.

I'm in the turn off your phone at night camp. If it's a real emergency then people will call your land line anyway.
And no I don't have a land line phone in my bedroom because when I'm asleep I don't want to be woken by something that can wait until morning.
Obviously if there's a certain situation, ill relations and friends, kids out overnight etc then I'd probably turn phone on but I certainly wouldn't tell someone off for texting me at 2am. It's my responsibility to turn my phone on/off/silence it/DND etc. They can't mind read. They don't know I'm asleep or at a funeral!

Not really. What for?

Elderly relatives who can’t get to grips with mobile phones?

@AdobeWanKenobi

Not really. What for?

Elderly relatives who can’t get to grips with mobile phones?

Ok. I get why elderly relatives would have landlines. But for anyone else, it is usually just an extra phone for no use, basically.

This is why I keep my landline.
Mobile on dnd but anyone important can get hold of me on the landline.

Exactly. I keep my landline for the parents.

You can really just set your parents on your phone that it gets through DND though.

I do the same as many dnd but with a couple of contacts that can get through.
I don't have a landline any more.
The only notification I have switched on is Whatsapp.
SM and email can wait until I go and look, it's all none urgent.

Haven't read the other thread.
Funerals, interviews, meetings, cinemas etc, switch off, dnd, airplane mode, put on silent, switch off vibration of you're leaving buried in your bag, unless you are waiting for an urgent call and even then in a way that isn't too intrusive.

I have my phone on at night always because I have a family member with illness who might need me.

Turn your phone off or mute for things like funerals and movies. But not at night, imagine turning you phone on in the morning and finding out your dad was frantically calling from the hospital with your dying mother.
I once had to get a security guard to drive me from a christmas party to my mothers, to bang on the door and wake her up to tell her to turn her phone on because my sister needed her at hospital but she'd left her phone downstairs so it didnt disturb her.

The failure of imagination is strong with some on here.

We have a landline as my mobile phone reception is horrendously shoddy. I am on the network that gets best reception here.

Texts thus routinely arrive in the middle of the night. But no problem, I'm on DND. It will ring if someone rings more than once, such as a hospital switchboard. Switchboards will absolutely be familiar with this. My son is favourited so he can contact me by text if it is an emergency.

But if people want to make rods for their own backs, who are we to stop them?

The world is divided into two types of people - those who have a problem and find a way to solve it, and those who have a problem and think it's someone else who needs to change. The second type of people tend to find their problems persist.

But not at night, imagine turning you phone on in the morning and finding out your dad was frantically calling from the hospital with your dying mother.

I'd be telling him to go fuck himself and ask how he got my number tbh. Shame it wasn't a call from someone else letting me know you'd both dropped dead.

I don't understand why anyone has audible notifications, ever. I'm not at everyone's back and call. If it's suitable for a text message, I'll see it when I see it. If it's genuinely urgent, then call me.

Do none of you have friends and contacts in other time zones? Of course it is up to me to prevent my phone disturbing me at 2am. Because it isnt 2am for everyone.
Wifi off at bedtime if I want my phone in my room (but it usually lives downstairs overnight, along with all the other tech). I'd probably hear a call, but all the WhatsApp and email notifications arent audible.

Yup I agree I don't get this either, phone on silent at night.

It's very simple to put your phone on DND whilst allowing certain numbers to still ring you.

I have mine set so that all notifications are turned off between 10pm and 7am but I allow phone calls as I figure that if it was an emergency; someone would ring, not text.

This is why I continue to have a landline phone (which rarely gets used). My mobile phone gets switched off at 10pm or whenever and switched back on when I choose to in the morning. No need to have the ‘do not disturb’ issues of who can or can’t get through that some people mention above.

In a more general sense I’m often amazed at the sheer volume of ‘push notifications’ and other messages that pop on the screens of some people I know. Their screens are constantly lighting up and demanding their attention for things that really are the opposite of urgent - someone commented on their fb post, or liked their Instagram photo. So many face to face conversations get derailed or distracted by people glancing at their phone and losing the thread of the conversation. I think some people really are controlled by their phone rather than using as a device that can sometimes help us in some way.