Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Being called a liar when I'm not a liar ..it's not ok?

50 replies

idontthinkicare · 12/09/2020 09:53

I've posted the other day and here I am again I'm sorry about that.
A ex friend rang the police months ago and said I was financially abusing my dying mother (who passed two weeks ago )
She did this after I asked her to pay back the money she owed me.
She is a serial liar.
Two of her friends she introduced me too had become my friends.
One of the girls spoke every day and we got on like a house on fire.
Anyway the police /social services checked my bank statements and I keep receipts (thank god ) and they said everything was good and it was malicious and left me alone
I didn't mention any of it to these two "friends"
One of them lately kept dropping things into the convo about fraud etc (god knows what ex friend was saying "
Anyway I pulled her up on it the other day and told her the full story.
She said I was a liar and I had no proof it was ex friend and this wasn't over,it would still be getting investigated.
She said I was lying about them being satisfied with receipts /statements etc.
So I showed her proof it was over (emails ,texts ) she replied saying
I don't care
Then that was last I heard from her
I'm stuck
How can she not believe me ?
I've showed proof
Why was she so quick to listen to mutual friend?
I really like her and thought we were friends.

OP posts:

unchienandalusia · 12/09/2020 09:56

With friends like this who needs enemies!?

They are not your friends. Draw a line and move on.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 12/09/2020 09:59

You need to stop trying to prove to these people that you are not lying. Just concentrate on yourself now. You lost your mum. You do NOT need people like that, note they are not friends, now.

Ponoka7 · 12/09/2020 10:05

I agree that you should cut your loses and draw a line under the friendships. IME people always eventually work out who is the liar, usually after becoming a victim themselves.

MiddleClassProblem · 12/09/2020 10:11

Have they ever mentioned they thought she was a liar? Maybe they were the person who called the police?

Original poster

idontthinkicare · 12/09/2020 10:12

You know what makes me laugh last year the two girls were slagging her off.
It was deffo the ex friend,the other two girls didn't know mums address etc.
She will have been bad mouthing me,she tried to turn them against me last year..this time she's won.

OP posts:

allgoodinthehood · 12/09/2020 11:10

But think about it honestly. They weren't your true friends. If they were they would have come to you and asked you outright after she'd been slagging you off.
There is a saying " other people s opinion of you is not your business " Think about it . Move on head held high you know you've done nothing wrong. They are not worthy of your friendship.

FallonsTeaRoom · 12/09/2020 11:13

You won't ever win with people like that. Just file them away in your mind as being incredibly stupid and try to forget them. They're just not worth the effort.

Sorry you're going through this especially when you're grieving for your mum.

Sexykitten2005 · 12/09/2020 11:18

I posted on your last Thread and I’m going to say it again. These girls are not your friends they thrive on drama, arguments and bitching. You’ve proved that by your second post. Even if you could prove your Innocence they will still slag you off behind your back for this or something else because that’s what people like this do. You will never feel safe with them, you will never be supported and you will never be there equal. You can’t talk to them honestly because whatever you say will become fodder for their next slagging match. Cut them off and walk away. Otherwise you will spend years of your life being abused and tortured by them for their entertainment. You will never know if you can trust them because you can’t.

Sexykitten2005 · 12/09/2020 11:19

How old are you OP?

ShellsAndSunrises · 12/09/2020 11:20

The advice is the same. These people aren’t friends. They aren’t going to believe you, regardless of what you do, because they’re choosing not to. They don’t want to.

MomToTwoBabas · 12/09/2020 11:20

Don't feel you have to prove yourself to morons. They are not your friends.

Oldraver · 12/09/2020 11:20

She will have been bad mouthing me,she tried to turn them against me last year..this time she's won.

She hasn't 'won'... you have, as you have found which friends are not worthy of you.

Please let the whole 'proving' it go.

Original poster

idontthinkicare · 12/09/2020 11:33

I don't know if it's worth loosing my mum but I just feel so low and now betrayed.
I'm early 30s
I knew months ago it was this ex "friend" but I feel so so stupid for talking to these other two girls for months.
One of them actually said two weeks ago we needed a catch up.
I don't understand why they didn't ask me about it,I guess they are thick as thieves so I was always going to be the one they doubted.
It's just going around in my head,now they've seen proof,nothing happened as it wasn't true ..why they don't feel guilty,no apology.
I guess that would mean they would be admitting to either be responsible for it or known of it.

OP posts:

Original poster

idontthinkicare · 12/09/2020 11:33

*with not worth (typo )

OP posts:

BlankTimes · 12/09/2020 12:16

I read your last thread OP. Please stop thinking about these idiots who only want to wind you up. Friends would never do that. They are too stupid to see the truth, let them get on with it, their opinion Does. NOT. Matter.

Stop giving them headspace, they are thick as two short planks and they don't know how to behave decently. Cut them out of your life. Stop obsessing over them, they are irrelevant.

You need to focus on what you need in your life right now.

Taking care of yourself needs to be top priority and you need the space to grieve for the loss of your Mum.

Can you have a course of bereavement counselling or speak to one of the bereavement charities, they will be able to help you see how you can deal with your grief in a much better way for you.

Original poster

idontthinkicare · 12/09/2020 12:58

I'm struggling to get rid of that horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach.
I know I need to forget about them,I know I will it's just difficult at the min.
Hopefully after mums funeral I can start re building myself up again.
Why do you think they chose to believe her?
Why did they not realise I was telling the truth when I showed proof ?

OP posts:

BlankTimes · 12/09/2020 13:35

Why do you think they chose to believe her?
Why did they not realise I was telling the truth when I showed proof

In the kindest nicest possible way, you really really need to stop obsessing over this OP, your attention needs to be on yourself and organising all the things you need to be doing at this time after your bereavement.

Original poster

idontthinkicare · 12/09/2020 13:41

The funeral is Tuesday and everything is organised,I think that's why I'm obsessing tbh..my head is just so all over the place.

OP posts:

Malbecfan · 12/09/2020 13:42

Because their own lives are so boring and vacuous that they need to believe it.

I'm sorry OP for the loss of your mum. I am also sorry that this has coincided with discovering that a so-called friend is an idiot. Get through the funeral, pick yourself up and move on. Your best revenge is to live well without them. I wish you all the best.

BlankTimes · 12/09/2020 13:45

Sorry, I've realised I'd not answered your 'Why' questions.

The truth is no-one knows.

My guesses include
They are horrid people and they are doing it deliberately to wind you up.
They have the IQ of pondlife.
They have no empathy.
They don't care about proof, they just want to hurt you.

For the sake of your own MH idontthinkicare live up to your username. You are going on and on and on about this, you'll make yourself ill, please stop.
You are obsessed with making them see you are right but it's not going to happen.

Walk away from them, cut all contact with them, they are not worth another thought.

StillCoughingandLaughing · 12/09/2020 13:48

I’m so sorry about your mum. This must be an incredibly difficult time, which may have intensified your hurt at the actions of these so-called ‘friends’.

Concentrate on grieving for your mother - that’s what you need at the moment. These women sound like overgrown teenagers. When things are calmer, you can put your energy into building adult friendships with people who deserve you.

Coffeecak3 · 12/09/2020 13:51

If they decide to accept the truth they will not have anything nasty to gossip about.
There enjoying the drama and they're playground bullies, move on and find better friends.
Also when someone doesn't believe you don't show proof because you've done nothing wrong.

Just say 'well you'll have to believe what you want, I'm not bothered because I know the truth.'

Coffeecak3 · 12/09/2020 13:51

They're

Original poster

idontthinkicare · 12/09/2020 13:57

I'm lucky I've got 3 fantastic friends who I would trust with my life.
They've been my rock.
They've always hated these "friends" and told me they were bad news.
I'm going to get through the funeral and put it all in my past.
These 3 girls aren't even decent people,lives are a mess and they've done bad things yet think it's ok to ruin good people (I don't think I'm that bad a person )

OP posts:

Original poster

idontthinkicare · 12/09/2020 13:58

My actual good friends think I'm crazy for showing proof.
They told me off for that.

OP posts:

Flip

1 2

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.