She did it purpose, surely?

[BastardBiscuits]

Went for lunch with a friend and she kindly offered me a lift home. In the car I told her I was expecting an important phone call from my granddaughters social worker and was she ok with me taking it in the car. She laughed and said it was fine and that I didn’t need to ask.

Surely enough SW rang and I answered. A few minutes into the conversation friend let out an almighty obnoxious belch. I swear I felt the car rumble. SW literally stopped talking mid sentence and then, after a few seconds of awkward silence she tried to carry on where she left off saying “ummm ... I’ve lost my train of thought, where was I?”

I was mortified. I don’t believe this was an accident so why would she do that? Or am I over thinking it?

I just hope SW didn’t think it was me.

For people having a go at the OP for taking a ‘confidential’ phone call in the presence of a third party - professional confidentiality only applies to professionals not to their clients. I’m a psychotherapist. I have to observe strict confidentiality about my clients. They don’t have to observe the same rules! They can tell their mates/parents/online followers anything they like about what goes on in sessions because it’s their lives they are discussing, not a protected case history. Equally doctors have to observe confidentiality about their patients but I’m at liberty to leave the surgery and disclose my medical history to anyone I choose.

Perhaps in some very specific child protection situations a grandparent or parent or guardian might need to be discreet about conversations with a SW but generally speaking they can be as open as they like about their family dealings with SS or anyone else.

I would have cracked up laughing - burps and farts are hilarious and I think we should do more of them, though I do understand in this particular instance she could have perhaps tried to stifle it. The world didn't end so I'd move on from it if I was you - let it become the funny story of the inappropriate burp to regale to friends at dinner parties.

If one of my friends did a protracted belch whilst I was on the phone to SS I’d think they were unhinged and I’d really consider if they were a real friend to me tbh.

There is a difference between an involuntary burp and a loud drawn out belch, belching usually involves drawing out the air noisily.

I’d definitely call the SS back and explain what happened so she doesn’t think it was you not taking the situation seriously.

I hope your DGD is ok

This is hilarious. I think I like your friend more than you do . Why, after you’d finished your phone call, didn’t you turn to her and say “Ffs you dirty cow, that was so embarrassing! Couldn’t you have held your massive burp in til I’d finished my call?” Her response would have made it easy for you to gage her ‘motives.’ My guess is she just inhaled a bit too much air with lunch, was nicely relaxed on the way home and just forgot where she was for a minute. It happens. 🤷🏻‍♀️

@ILikeTrains

I would have cracked up laughing - burps and farts are hilarious and I think we should do more of them, though I do understand in this particular instance she could have perhaps tried to stifle it. The world didn't end so I'd move on from it if I was you - let it become the funny story of the inappropriate burp to regale to friends at dinner parties.

‘Oh yes that time when I was on the phone to social services discussing my granddaughters welfare and you did that massive belch - tee hee’

Yes hilarious

OP going of this thread most people don’t give a shit your DGD is under SS. I hope she is ok.

I’d be mortified too. Ring SS up and explain

Oh god she sill have thought it was you. How rude.

Tell the SW so she doesn't think bad of you.

Least said soonest mended. If you start to make excuses she'll immediately think it was you! It can only make things worse.

Your friend's behaviour is a bit strange if purposely done, but more likely to have been a momentary lapse. It's mortifying, but it's a very small thing in the scheme of things. For no professional person should this have any bearing on your DGD's case.

I'd leave it.

To me it sounds like she was attention seeking - she said she didn't mind you taking the call, but then when the attention was off of her she did something very attention seeking making it all about her again. Is this usual for her in other situations? It sounds pretty gross to be honest. I'd distance myself unless she has many other strong redeeming qualities and I'd apologise to the social work so she doesn't think it was you.

@BlueJava

To me it sounds like she was attention seeking - she said she didn't mind you taking the call, but then when the attention was off of her she did something very attention seeking making it all about her again. Is this usual for her in other situations? It sounds pretty gross to be honest. I'd distance myself unless she has many other strong redeeming qualities and I'd apologise to the social work so she doesn't think it was you.

I agree

You can't undo it. Move on and don't fall out over it, it's not worth it.

I think you need to polish your communication skills.

To ss worker 'so sorry, a friend is next to me bla, bla, bla'
To friend 'why on earth did you do that?'

Much easier than guessing afterwards.

Sorry, yes, of course OP is under no obligation to treat anything about her granddaughter as confidential in anyway. I was totally wrong for thinking that. Only the SW had any obligation to ensure that there wasn't someone else listening in on OPs end of the call.
I am sorry that I ever thought that.

You are being ridiculous. Why on earth would the social worker care about hearing someone belch?

misses the point of the thread

Noise-cancelling apps can be very helpful when blocking out background noise when you're on a mobile or a video conference call.

What's she like usually? Is she generally rude and crass? Does she have health issues that make wind a problem? Assuming not then there's literally no need to belch out loud and it can and should have been repressed. Did she apologise afterwards?

I would have been very unimpressed given the nature of the call/confined space. In fact I would have been unimpressed regardless - it's piggish, unnecessary behaviour.

😂

Some people will take offense if they are given the excuse to. Like if you didn't mention anything and just took the call she probably would have been fine. Because you asked if it was okay, she decided you were taking the piss and did something obnoxious.

Sorry to derail, but thank you @EmbarrassingAdmissions . Didn't know those apps excited, just googled and yay now I can play as loud as I like without getting comments from dh's zoom colleagues .

Excited, thank you autocorrect. Existed

Quite an amusing incident, one to overlook, and forget. Walk home next time !

@giantangryrooster

Sorry to derail, but thank you *@EmbarrassingAdmissions* . Didn't know those apps excited, just googled and yay now I can play as loud as I like without getting comments from dh's zoom colleagues .

They can be so helpful. They can block out the noise of construction, barking dogs, landlines, noisy appliances etc.

I don't know why more people don't use them even for Zoom/Teams etc. as they can be a lot better than the built in stuff. There are some decent trial periods for the subscription ones.

I have no direct or indirect financial or personal interest in any of the apps. - I know they've been very helpful for colleagues who live in active households or neighbourhoods.

[/end merail]

@EmbarrassingAdmissions could you recommend one, please?

A SW was put off from a burp? Wow, considering the crap they hear and see this surprises me tbh.

The person had a meal and then later burped. Nothing disgusting about people burping it's a natural part of us like peeing, farting and crapping.

I've met people who burp and sneeze at the same time.