To think the receptionist at the hospital was a little odd..

[Dyinginsideatthecringe]

Hello,

I have a few mixed reviews on this so thought I would ask complete strangers what they thought -

I went to the hospital today for my 20 week scan and I went to the main entrance reception to put a mask on and do my hands etc all that and the young man on reception asked where I was heading - I couldn't think of the name antenatal and just said "oh it's for my twenty week scan" and he replied saying "ohhhhh have you been doing naughty things?", I was a bit taken back by this as obviously didn't expect it so laughed a bit then walked away but my husband thinks it was completely inappropriate and thinks I should complain (so maybe this is more is my husband BU).

What do people think? Now I don't really think much of it but I don't know if it would have made other women uncomfortable.

YABU - it was a joke.
YANBU - it was unprofessional and he shouldn't have said it.

Please let us survivors decide what we are offended about.just can't believe someone thinks it's ok to tell someone they can't choose what does or doesn't offend them on an individual basis.

That's just it. Speak for yourself, on an individual basis. There is no 'us' that you are speaking for, dictating how other people should be considerate to this group with no idea whether they also belong to the 'us' you are trying to speak for. Speak for yourself.

And stop assuming others life experiences, or that what doesn't bother you shouldn't be thought of as bothering, say, me. You have a lot of unassuming to do.

And you might find others more 'educated' if you accept that you're not an elected representative for rape survivors, in a position to tell people they're being silly if they are too considerate because it wouldn't bother you, making the blanket assumption that you are speaking to someone who hasn't been raped. Educate yourself, ffs.

I was speaking about it as an individual giving my opinion. I never said anyone was silly you're just lying now. I was simply saying don't assume we're all offended not that others couldn't or wouldn't be so I don't know why you're coming for me.

Educate myself? On rape and surviving it? I grew up being raped and sexually assaulted as a child from my 6th birthday. I then had a boyfriend who repeatedly raped and beat me. I know enough about it without you attacking me for daring to have my own mind.

making the blanket assumption that you are speaking to someone who hasn't been raped Something else you've made up.

@Susannahmoody

Seriously how old was he, 12?

Naughty things?

Very unprofessional - he didn't say it to your husband, then? Who presumably you had done the naughty things with?

That's what I thought too! When I was pregnant with DC1 and told my year 9 group one of the boys went, "bleurgh, I don't want to know that!"

I'd be pissed off with his comment for so many reasons: sex isn't naughty, it's shaming a woman for having sex (when a man wouldn't be getting the same comment), it's commenting on your sex life when it is completely irrelevant and inappropriate etc etc. I am not sure I would complain though, but then maybe that's because as a woman I have been socialised to just smile and shrug off crap behaviour.

Er, no.

But I'm not interested in pursuing this. You clearly don't want to know.

I’d take it as a bit weird and a funny story to tell friends. Nothing more.

He's only said it to you because you're a woman. No way would he have said that to a guy.

Id have asked him if he was 12. Extremely inappropriate and immature. I would hope, in any hospital situation, to be treated professionally and with dignity.

He wouldn’t say it to a man (I.e. doing naughty things to get woman pregnant).

Why do we pressure women into laughing these things off?

It’s just constant isn’t it. I called work IT last week, very stressed as boss was chasing a piece of work and laptop kept crashing and the guy was giggling at times like it was funny. I asked male colleagues if they ever got that response and they said no.

@Dyinginsideatthecringe

Not sure why a couple of people are being a bit nasty about it as I said in the original thread I'm not bothered about it but as someone else has mentioned it may have made other women uncomfortable especially if they are a rape survivor or any other circumstance and then in my updates I said I wasn't gonna complain and no harm done so not sure what I need to get over but okay, fair enough.

Another circumstance here being perhaps an ivf baby so no “naughty things” done to conceive, where one or both partners might be very depressed about not falling pregnant naturally.

He's only said it to you because you're a woman. No way would he have said that to a guy. I have to say I completely agree with this. Men don't tend to speak to other men in such a way as they respect them more.