To think no, we aren't heroes

[hibbledibble]

I'm a junior doctor, who was redeployed to the covid wards. It was really traumatic.

We got claps, called heroes, rainbows.

I'm not a hero.

I'm a normal person, who was forced to work in unsafe conditions without adequate preparation or planning. Heroes makes out that we are superhumans, without basic needs.

I did all I could in the situation. All I could wasn't good enough. That haunts me now.

I believe I have PTSD now. I am so worried I am going to be thrust into this hell again, and have not been able to access treatment.

Aibu to think we aren't heroes, but normal people with normal needs, like a safe and supportive working environment?

You are normal people (who have studyed and have great knowledge) dealing with extraordinary events. I can't imagine how you must feel and hope the government puts as much thought and money, as it did on gimmicks like eat out, into protecting the mental and physical health of those (medical, blue lights, supply chain etc) that dealt with events in the last 6 months.

I echo the first poster. Also, who the hell said you are being unreasonable?

YANBU

I think a lot of the heroes stuff and other language the government uses the NHS is deliberate so no one can talk about improving it without being seen as insulting a much loved institution. Of course you ans the other NHS staff need support and to work in safe conditions (and to be paid properly for it). As well as being morally right, it's the law. Instead you got people clapping for you.

To be honest I think most Frontline war hero’s feel the same way.

Many people I work with have caught covid..they are overlooked domestics cleaning covid wards in hospital.

They were never called heroes.

You may not feel like a hero but I am in always in awe of the long hard training doctors have and how they use their skills. So sorry it has affected you badly and no doubt you are anxious about it happening again.

YANBU. Labelling people as hero’s dehumanises them. Exactly what the government wanted. I wish you the best OP.

YANBU
You're normal people. Calling you heroes guilt trips you into not complaining about it and certainly not quitting.
Thank you for all the effort, dedication and care.

Totally agree.

I voted YABU but mainly because I don’t get why you couldn’t access support.
I’m not, for a second, suggesting that what you had to endure wasn’t horrendous.
I also think calling medical staff heroes when they feel they’ve just been struggling is doing shit all for those of you trying to get past what you dealt with and will deal with.
If you aren’t getting support- get it! Tell your bosses you need it. Get it privately if you need to. Don’t let COVID-19 ruin you.
Fuck the Tory propaganda about heroes. What you need is better pay and support.
I feel for you OP

But we aren't frontline war heroes. This isn't a war.

Cleaners do an incredibly important job in the hospital, and yes, many have caught covid, just like most of the medical and nursing staff have. Calling them heroes is equally unhelpful, but they do deserve to be valued.

Crazy I have tried to access support, and I'll keep trying. I hope I will be able to. Private support is not viable given my pay.

I’m a junior doctor too, an anaesthetist. I can’t even begin to process what those horrific few weeks at the height of the surge were like and I’m feeling increasingly stressed as cases rise that it is going to happen again. I couldn’t feel any less heroic if I tried. I’m sorry you are struggling as so many of us are @hibbledibble. Bloody covid.

Thank you.

I'm sorry.

It’s not right that you cannot get support.
This alone makes me rage for you.
You have done an amazing job.
The claps from well meaning people were for you, and those cleaners though they didn’t get a specific mention.
It’s all a disgrace- if the NHS was properly being protected- they would protect you!

I have nothing helpful to add to the above. I just hope you get the support you need & deserve.

Thank you.

If you think you have PTSD please absolutely prioritise support. After you have paid for rent and food that should be where extra money goes.

I suffered from PTSD which I left untreated for over 5years. Not sure where you are but average therapy prices round here are £70 per session. Go fortnightly or even monthly. But please please please prioritise this. By leaving it I was left suicidal and unable to function, this has to be your priority.

My wages don't even cover the basics or childcare. Treatment should be available, I will keep trying

Totally agree. The hero narrative was hugely unhelpful and there has been the predictable slide to a more villain narrative now. It's also used to deny clinicians their basic employment rights ("Its your VOCATION ")

The MH services in UK (well I know England) are shocking. It seems to need to reach crisis. In case of NHS staff (including outsourced such as cleaners) you’d think as an employer it would be in their best interest to get it in place to retain staff and mean they are fit to work

But we aren't frontline war heroes. This isn't a war. No but this government relies on convincing people it is and they have individual importance to manipulate a gullible public, and expects public sector workers to play whatever part is handed to them.
Most people with half a brain see it for what it is, and are grateful to everyone doing jobs that enable the rest of us to survive, without having to put them on pedestals, only to later shove them off.

I'm a normal person, who was forced to work in unsafe conditions without adequate preparation or planning. Totally, but the hero rhetoric allowed the government not to take responsibility for it. Maybe we need a campaign for counselling availability for NHS Covid workers?

I did all I could in the situation. All I could wasn't good enough. That haunts me now.
I'm likely to be older than you, and have no magic wand, however I've had to live my life with what I did was all I could at the time, but not good enough for the purpose I did it.
If you can't get help, then talk to people who have lived through wars, terrorism, fires etc especially those who have had to triage, decision make, and had things keep coming without respite, about how they live with the things that haunt them.
Somehow you have to come to terms with the fact we are indeed not superhuman. We are each one of us, as we are, and can only do what we can do, in a crisis. Sometimes it isn't enough no matter what we might have done.
Sometimes we look back and see we could have done something differently, or got something wrong, once we have calm and hindsight. But those are not the conditions we were in at that time. That isn't a fault of ours, it is simply fact that we have to learn to live with. Being haunted by it is part of the process of learning to live with it.

yoho thank you for the balanced and insightful reply.

What I did wasn't enough, due to being part of an inadequate system. We weren't able to offer adequate care as a result of that. That's very difficult.

Hero isnt a word I use for anyone. If you are a Junior Doctor, you did /are doing a good job and I respect you for that, but you arent a hero. You are doing what you are trained and paid to do.

Completely agree OP. I hope help is available for you and others like you.

Exactly why I didn’t stand outside clapping, I want the NHS staff to have better protection and provision not (well meaning as people were) hollow gestures that suit the Governments rhetoric

You aren't a hero. You are an awesome member of society who picked a tough career and have my thanks.

I've seen many of my ex-colleagues (recovery and ITU nurses) fully geared up to look after Covid patients because of their critical front line respiratory experience. They aren't heros but they are fucking awesome.

They don't need us clapping like trained sealions on drugged fish. They need good pay and conditions. They need PPE, they need putting first, they need many things that aren't gratitiude and lip-service. And so do you.