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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be upset by DH

29 replies

Sunflowers095 · 10/09/2020 20:22

Not sure if I'm being unreasonable to feel upset.

I've been working hard and doing long hours to advance my career, alongside studying for a degree.

I was born in a different country and have a limited relationship with my family, came here working on minimum wage and worked towards what I really wanted to do (I don't mean this in a bad way - many minimum wage jobs are not just important but also can be fulfilling for some people, I just mean it was a long way for me in my circumstances).

I found out I passed a very crucial part of my course with a distinction, last year I did quite poorly in this area. This now puts me one module away from graduating. I got results today and told DH I would love to get a nice takeaway from my favourite restaurant to celebrate tomorrow.

He said "congrats, great job but we were going to eat x meal tomorrow". X meal is mostly frozen with some veggies bought fresh that can wait or we could eat for lunch and still have a nice takeaway. We ended up getting into a fight over me feeling like he's prioritising a 40p vegetable that can be eaten anytime and being practical over letting me enjoy a moment I was really happy for, and then the fight escalated. AIBU?

OP posts:
7yo7yo · 10/09/2020 20:24

Nope. Tell the joy sponge to enjoy his shitty meal and you enjoy your takeaway.

Aquamarine1029 · 10/09/2020 20:24

Are you struggling financially?

Ghostlyglow · 10/09/2020 20:27

Sounds like my DP - he's a mardy fun sponge too. YANBU Flowers

mbosnz · 10/09/2020 20:29

Bugger the sod!

Congratulations, that's awesome! Go get that takeaway!

Original poster
Sunflowers095 · 10/09/2020 20:29

Sorry just to clarify as I believe this is important - not struggling financially (individually or in joint finances) and I would have happily paid for the takeaway myself!

OP posts:
Bluebell878275 · 10/09/2020 20:30

In black and white, yeah he sounds like a fun sponge as pp said. However, in real life, there MUST be something else behind it. Seems quite strange otherwise?

AmandaHoldensLips · 10/09/2020 20:30

CONGRATULATIONS!!! You totally smashed it. Well done on a brilliant job. Star

Treat yourself to your own takeaway and let DH eat his miserable 40p veg on his own.

SilverOtter · 10/09/2020 20:31

I too would just get the takeaway and let him enjoy his previous vegetables.

Oh by the way - huge congratulations on your results!🥳

SilverOtter · 10/09/2020 20:31

*precious🙄

Aquamarine1029 · 10/09/2020 20:32

Since money isn't an issues, tell him to go fuck himself and order just for you. Order two so you have some for tomorrow.

Wrenna · 10/09/2020 20:32

My grandmother once told me when I was single, “Don’t date a man who counts the peas you eat”. You married one.

NearlyGranny · 10/09/2020 20:33

Is he perhaps feeliing threatened by your academic success? Has he been supportive and positive all through your degree or dismissive?

When you graduate, will you equal or exceed his qualification level? This is all a bit concerning.

Original poster
Sunflowers095 · 10/09/2020 20:35

No drip feed here/more to it, he's not very career driven and he wasn't trying to be nasty, but when I said "hey DH I just want to enjoy this" he kind of said "well you're the one who doesn't like wasting food" and the fight escalated into a stupid fight. I just didn't want to argue over some veggies that weren't really a problem and if felt like he cares more about proving his point than about the situation. He's sorry now as I've gone a bit quiet and sad over the whole thing but just wondering if I'm being super dramatic (probably am!)

OP posts:
Travis1 · 10/09/2020 20:36

Yanbu at all. Get your takeaway

Original poster
Sunflowers095 · 10/09/2020 20:36

Also thank you everyone for the lovely words, it means the world since I don't have anyone else to share it with x

OP posts:
MrDarcysMa · 10/09/2020 20:41

There's more obviously more to this than the vegetables. It's a shame he's threatened by you rather than proud of you.

I would order a lovely Takeaway for one and way or in front of him whilst he eats his frozen sausages.

shesgonebatshitagain · 10/09/2020 20:46

Why do you let someone else tell you what to eat
You’re not his child

Get the takeaway and very well done on your results. Star

Poppyisa · 10/09/2020 20:49

Congratulations, well done you. Enjoy your takeaway, you should celebrate.

MrsTerryPratchett · 10/09/2020 20:52

Do you piss on his chips when he wants a take away?

shesgonebatshitagain · 10/09/2020 20:52

@MrsTerryPratchett

Do you piss on his chips when he wants a take away?
Brilliant pun Grin
JulesCobb · 10/09/2020 20:53

Well done op! Treat yourself tomorrow.

Legallyblondeee · 10/09/2020 20:56

Congratulations! Get the takeout AND a bottle of wine and celebrate YOU!

ScabbyHorse · 10/09/2020 20:56

That is mean spirited of him. I think you should treat yourself to something nice that's just for you. Can you buy some clothes or do something lovely?

Ghostlyglow · 10/09/2020 20:58

@Wrenna

My grandmother once told me when I was single, “Don’t date a man who counts the peas you eat”. You married one.
That is so true @Wrenna (and I did too)
MrsTerryPratchett · 10/09/2020 21:04

@shesgonebatshitagain

I'm taking credit for the punning, however inadvertent!

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